Sunday, June 28, 2015

Kills of the Week

The EVE Online community is buzzing about the New Order's successful campaigns in Uedama over the last couple weeks. But did the carebears--and I'm speaking about haulers especially--learn their lesson? Time to find out. Below, an examination of the week of June 21st @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 27th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



We begin with Kongami's Council Diplomatic Shuttle, which was ganked by Agent Aaaarrgg. The shuttle's sole cargo was a copy of "Shuttle Piloting For Dummies". Kongami shuttled it, but he didn't read it. And he wasn't alone in needing to hit this particular book.



Contrary to Grit Diaspora's belief, using shuttles as haulers is not the way of the future. He had over 2 billion isk of blueprints in his shuttle. He probably assumed that the New Order is only interested in ganking big freighters and Orcas, and that a shuttle can fly under the radar. Not so. We have Agents who specialize in popping shuttles and even autopiloting pods. Agent PV Rock is among them. No Code violator is too small to be punished. The New Order sees all.
From: Grit Diaspora
Sent: 2015.06.24 00:55
To: PV Rock,

yah well you can stick your "new order blah blah blah up your ass you ineffectual high sec camping pussy.grow some balls nad move to nul like the big boys...moron.
I don't think "ineffectual" means what he thinks it means.



When you've lost a PLEX shuttle like Juno1 has, what do you do? If you're a Gallant, you won't find yourself in this situation. If, once in this situation, you experience an epiphany and wish to become a Gallant, you offer a "gf" in local. If you're a Goofus, on the other hand, you'll do whatever it takes to try to guilt someone into giving you a reimbursement. You might send Agent PV Rock an EVEmail like this one:


Yes, this is a thing in EVE that people do.


Since the New Order has destroyed his favorite play style, Juno1 no longer saw any value in continuing to play the game. If you can't haul PLEX in a shuttle, what's left to do in EVE?



Taufer Otomeya killed more than 10,000 low-level NPC faction ships. According to our Agents' report, Taufer "did the only thing that bot-aspirants can do: loaded an untanked hauler and send it AFK to Jita." Not so fast! Agents Rick Therapist, Brutal Anna, and Carebears' Nightmare were waiting for Taufer. Time to collect more tags--or better yet, change careers.



Let's not bury the lead. Big-ticket ships like Haskie's Orca continued to face death and destruction in Uedama this week. The New Order's gank fleets were winning so much that they decided to have a little fun with it. In this kill, the whole gank fleet used Atron-class frigates! Agents 412nv Yaken, loyalanon, Sasha Cohenberg, Noll Kion, V-ktor Dolus, Kahvegi, Peter Podder, shootyou longtyme, Globby, Erika Anzomi, ThatOleSerpent, Sherman Cohenberg, Altus Exodus, Silvester Cohenberg, Stanley Cohenberg, Lisa Tears, Yasu Abraham, Stein Cohenberg, Sobieski Soreksen, Cassandra Skjem, and AeleDeux had a great time, obviously.



On the other end of the spectrum, Sara Torales was killed by a very small, very concentrated gang:


Agents loyalanon, Capt Starfox, John E Normus, and Sophia Soprano used only four Taloses to bring the freighter down.



It may be hard to believe, but freighter pilots like Maijur commit unspeakable acts of bot-aspirancy every day. Our Agents stop them. In this case, they formed a massive swarm of Catalysts to do so: Agents Aaaarrgg, Gohman Patrouette, Erika Anzomi, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, loyalanon, Martyr Oira, Rick Therapist, Globby, Sasha Cohenberg, Valorex1, Lament von Gankenheim, Silvester Cohenberg, Brutal Anna, James Clough, Jason Kusion, Sherman Cohenberg, Avi Shekelstien, Kresh Malik, Gallie Crendraven, Braggs Seyllin, Stanley Cohenberg, Bob Maulerantian, Sue Hamalia, Stein Cohenbberg, Sessuale, jumpstar, mobius Pava, Justice Miner, and Super Perforator know that it takes more than PLEX to play EVE.


We mustn't forget the miners! Agent Nicolas Dupre spotted a miner with some expensive faction mining drones--each worth 350 million isk.


The miner was operating in a 0.9 system, but no matter. Nicolas brought a Talos.


The miner's wreck, along with all of his mining drones, was looted. Modules from the Talos were also recovered. But what about the pod? Nicolas' Talos didn't pop it, but remember the pod specialists I was talking about earlier?


Agent PV Rock was called in to finish off CosmoX's Capsule. Including zKillboard's estimated 250 million isk value for the Harvest Gamma drone, CosmoX lost a pod worth roughly 8.75 billion isk. Imagine spending that much money on mining equipment--and then mining in a 0.9 system! He must have assumed it was 100% safe to mine there. Maybe it was, once. Not anymore. Highsec is growing up.

22 comments:

  1. Another week of failure from the anti-gankers failing to stop the New Order!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, but they are consistent!

      Delete
    2. CONSISTENCY!

      It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup

      Delete
  2. Maijur must have been carrying two of those giant novelty PLEXs they use for TV game shows.

    The only excuse for a freighter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. knock knock...

    who's there?

    New Order.

    New Order who?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jesus Christ is my only savior, The CODE. is of the devil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you've seen the light, but you need to adjust your attitude to be more in line with Jesus.

      Delete
  5. Anti-ganking is unusually quiet every kills of the week post.

    Most likely due to them failing non-stop daily continuously!

    ReplyDelete
  6. CODE. can only afford to gank with atrons now? The rumors must be true, CODE. is going broke, must be why they were on EVE forums begging for isk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, "CODE. is broke."

      Not only are the bots mendacious, they are also slow.

      Delete
  7. I used to read The Times with my Monday morning breakfast. How much more invigorating it is to digest 'Kills of the Week' with the toast and marmalade. Breakfast just isn't the same without it!

    Almost threw up over the contents of CosmoX's capsule, tho. 'Twas a near thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need to get a life, sasha....

      Delete
    2. Says the Anonymous miner who comments on the same forum and fail trolls daily.

      Delete
  8. Knock, Knock...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Why would u have a 8.75 billion isk pod to mine in high sec. It would take you months of mining to even earn the isk for the implants back. Back when I mined you could earning 60 an hour in null sec with full rorq boosts. It would take 150 hours of actual mining time under those conditions. Since he was in high sec there were no rorq boosts and the ore was far less valuable. Figure it would take 250 hours of actual mining to even break even on those implants.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are starting to recognize the sheer horror that is bot-aspirancy.

      All of us here in the New Order sit here with our mouths agape asking questions like "Why?" "How can someone spend so much on something so pointless?" "What would ever possess a person to do such a thing?"

      The answers, though, are not important.

      We may gawk at the sheer delusion of the bot-aspirant miners, but it is our job to erase these miners first. We can be amazed, but we must always remember not to be impressed.

      Delete
  10. Kind of how we feel about you code monkeys, amazed at the arrogance and repetition of ganking, but totally unimpressed with you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yet you visit this site daily, fanboi.

      Don't act like you're not impressed.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqYShelLYAQ

      Delete
    2. in a game full of nerds i do believe that code are by far the nerdiest (is that even a word?) ganking is fun though .....i hate roleplay though sorry.

      Delete
  11. Named on kills of the week. Praise James!

    ReplyDelete

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