Saturday, June 13, 2015

Superheroes of Highsec

Over the years, people have compared Agents of the New Order to comic book superheroes. Some say that I am EVE's answer to the Batman. For instance, take Angus Adalwin's poster:


...Or Alana Charen-Teng's poster, in which the heroes and villains of highsec couldn't be spelled out any more plainly:


No need for subtlety there--not when so many EVE players are so painfully confused about the moral parameters of highsec activity.

I'd like to drill down a little more on this superhero analogy to see where it takes us. Let's start by reflecting upon the nature of the bot-aspirants. If Agents are superheroes, what does that make the carebears? Supervillains?

This is where, for most people, things break down. Highsec is filled with all sorts of mundane villainy: Unlicensed carebears mining ice in a Retriever, AFK autopiloting shuttles filled with PLEX, decadent fail-fit anti-tanked ships of all kinds... For the most part, not exactly an impressive bunch. Lex Luthor, they ain't.

One of the most common complaints leveled against the New Order is that we only shoot defenseless noobs, that we "shoot ships that can't shoot back". This charge has been debunked many times over. Yet it is true that we do kill a lot of people who lack the weaponry or the wherewithal to return fire. And even if--and when--these carebears bother to put up a resistance, it's still no contest. New Order Agents are unfathomably more powerful than the carebears. The CODE always wins. Does that mean we're not playing fair?

This is where the superhero analogy becomes very helpful. Typically, we think of superheroes battling powerful supervillains; that's what the comic books focus on. But it's not what superheroes spend most of their time doing. It's not even what a superhero is primarily there to do. Would your fine city (or suburb, or rural area) benefit from having Superman as a local resident? Not if his job is fighting supervillains. At best, it would be a wash, with the superhero cancelling out the supervillain. At worst, you'd have a lot of person-sized and monster-sized holes appearing in the middle of buildings.

When you think about it, 99% of the time, a superhero's job is to battle ordinary criminals. The Batman doesn't spend all night camped outside Arkham Asylum, waiting for something big to happen. He mostly goes around busting average punks. They're the criminals who generate most of the crime, so they're the ones you target if you want to clean up the city.

Therefore, 99% of the time, the Batman is "bullying" criminals who stand absolutely no chance against him. They're no match for someone with his training and resources. At most, they're lightly armed. In 99% of cases, Superman engages in PvP against punks whose weapons don't even affect him. By the time they realize what's happening, the fight is already over. They're like AFK miners. "This isn't fair. I'm a new criminal. Go fight someone with superpowers," they say.

Of course, superheroes don't care that they have an insurmountable advantage over their opponents. They prefer it that way. Their very effectiveness is why they got into the crime-fighting business in the first place. Rather than focusing solely on enemies who stand a chance against them, they use the following criteria to determine whether or not to engage: Is this person breaking the law? Are they in violation of the criminal code?

The same is true of our Agents. Most of the time, they're dealing with small-time thugs. The carebears may be unarmed or AFK. Their odds of prevailing against a trained New Order Agent aren't good. Yet it is still an incredibly heroic deed each time our Agents put them down.

Now, it goes without saying that there are some exceptionally villainous people out there, like the highsec CEOs who bleed their members dry with high taxes and ore buyback programs. Or the rebels who use countdown timers and threaten to destroy the New Order if their demands aren't met within 48 hours. Such villains are dealt with, by a team-up or league of Agents, if need be.

For all criminals, the goal is rehabilitation. If they persist in their evil schemes, they are thwarted again and again. The Joker can't complain, "You keep arresting me over and over. This is harassment. I'm filing a petition." Likewise, the recidivist carebear will be ganked as many times as it takes for his behavior to be corrected. The New Order will clean up the mean streets of highsec. We will save our city.

65 comments:

  1. Great read! It's really not our fault that the players who insist on breaking the law are unable to take the time to understand game mechanics and how to defend themselves or go on the attack. We can only hope that by creating content for them that they will get better.

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  2. keep the comedy coming code ..... superheroes indeed ....you guys crack me up :)

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  3. "Yet it is true that we do kill a lot of people who lack the weaponry or the wherewithal to return fire."
    from the mouth of the horse himself !! (or is it ass himself ...you decide)

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    1. You make that sound like a bad thing in a game of spaceship combat... weird. Maybe you should try "Hello Kitty" or something? You may be happier.

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    2. Least they admit that they're shooting at unarmed vessels, and not try to hide it, unlike the anti-ganking community

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    3. well it's hard not to admit to killing unarmed barges when it's pretty much all you ever do now isn't it ???? :)

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    4. @ anon 7:05 pm
      yes it is meant to sound like a bad thing .....as killing things that can't fight back is actually a bad thing ..... now there's a suprise !!

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    5. Whaaaah whaaaaah..."unarmed vessels"....If you're going to mine illegally in New Order space, you better arm yourself. You have no one to blame for that but yourselves. If you are caught "unarmed"...that is your own stupidity.

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    6. Who let the dog out?....err, I ment who let kaely have a break and get a keyboard?

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  4. The analogy in above blog we have to say is crass at best. The New Order blogs lately seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrrel. Stagnation seems to be the name of the game for the so called NEW Order!

    Kind Regards Rhalina Sedai!

    Always Mine In Panorad Always!

    Free Systems Of Panorad! (FSOP)

    We dock for no-one!

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  5. Amazing how the real criminals (code) are so delusional that they dont realize that they themselves are the criminals and need to be removed from eve. Its really quite sad.

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    1. you should gather a fleet, fit some weapons, learn how game mechanics work, and remove us.

      of course we all know you won't, that might distract from your precious isk per hour, right miner?

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    2. We are currently working on just that, but we are afraid your not quite ready for our type of warfare. Ever tried to catch ghosts, ghosts with a shit load of isk that care nothing about amassing it or spending it. We are also infiltration proof, we cannot be ganked awoxed or conned.

      Always mine in Panorad Always!

      Kind regards Rhalina Sedai!

      Free Systems of Panorad! (FSOP)

      Delete
    3. You're currently working on that? It's been what...3 years now you've been working on it? We won't hold our breath. After 3 years and you are still working on it...perhaps you should accept it's a lost cause. As much as you would like to deny it, Code has changed everything..and we are in everything..even your minds. I'm afraid I can't say the same for AG..though they are good for occasional entertainment value :P

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  6. Then arm yourself and return fire seems pretty simple to me.

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    1. That would require the miner to treat EVE as more then a interactive screensaver and learn any aspect of game mechanics beyond "Lock onto rock and push F1".

      Not going to happen. That's why, of course, we are the superheros!

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  7. stereo type all you like so long as you put me in the .01% super rich slot.

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  8. "At worst, you'd have a lot of person-sized and monster-sized holes appearing in the middle of buildings."

    LOL

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  9. Interesting read.

    I agree with James, that Superheroes don`t go inactive as soon as The Joker is dead and there are just some drug traffickers or bank robbers, who are beneath his dignity.

    The analogy is correct insofar, as CODE (just like Superheroes) are vigilante. They are not officially in the law enforcement business (like the Police / CONCORD), but are doing some kind of volunteer service they deem valuable for the society (which it is).

    But the analogy fails insofar, as CODE (unlike Superheroes) makes up its own law. Superheroes are not legislative, but executive. They don`t make laws, they accept the laws made by the government and support to enforce it. And that`s exactly why CODE are not superheroes (who abide to the general law), but supervillains (who get hunted by the official law enforcement guys).

    The correct analogy would be, that AFK miners are citizens, who cheat a bit. CONCORD is the police, which hunts criminals (and in their eyes the miners do not qualify). James and CODE are the Joker and his minions.

    And now let this insight sink in for a second. There is a world with a police and a supervillain. But, as we all know, the police is too stupid to deal with the supervillain. That`s what superheroes are for. But...THERE IS NO SUPERHERO. The Joker can act as he wishes and the citizens are ****** up.

    I don`t know about you, but THAT`S a Marvel movie I`d like to see. :D

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    1. You have clearly put a lot of thought into this, but are unfortunately still in error.

      The correct analogy is that CONCORD is a corrupt police force that actively impedes the heroic efforts of the New Order superheroes in the latter's pursuit of justice. The AFK miners are *criminal* citizens that get away with murder because CONCORD has lost its way.

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    2. Tldr, carebear logic.

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    3. Miners always win the forum debate. ALWAYS!!! :p

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    4. @ Alana Charen-Teng

      i fear the error (once again) is all yours :)

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    5. Carebears once again prove themselves immune to logic.

      vov

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    6. logic....?? but concord is NOT corrupt.....code ARE criminals ( hence concord kills them all the time) they are the law of high sec as we all know (ccp created )
      the new order are not even remotely heroic, and they pursue criminal activity,the miners do nothing wrong but pursue their lawful activity(i'm excluding bots ,cheats and RMT,ers here of course) so concord leaves them in peace.
      all of which seems far more logical than your fairytale about you being heroes of any kind . :)


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    7. @Anon1:09
      "But but CLEARLY botting isn't a corrupt activity!! Robots are completely safe because our good friends Concord are robots!! How could they possibly be evil??"

      And thus, this Anon clearly demonstrates the lugubrious and contradictory mindset that is common among the bot-aspirant. It believes that botting is a good thing, and begins to hate humanity and emergent gameplay, wishing that all interaction were robot-based.

      This miner doesn't understand that you are either for or against robots, and that there is no middle ground. Either you are against Concord, or you are pro-RMT and pro-anti-Semite.

      Delete
    8. @anon 1:09
      Concord isn't corrupt? Why can they be bribed to look the other way...I am of course talking about war decs

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    9. the "mouthpiece " stil trying to spin everything your way i see.

      "(i'm excluding bots ,cheats and RMT,ers here of course)"

      conveniently forgetting what was actually said,
      and once again i have to inform you that concord is the legal ccp created and sanctioned law enforcement agency in new eden only your criminal operation and it's like are against them.

      and again not once have i said i am for botting or any other EULA infringement.
      you also seem to have a penchant for the word "hate" i am beginning to think it is you who hates humanity.

      and i understand perfectly the "for" and "against" argument i am "for" legal EULA abiding miners, and "against" you and your kind.

      now jsut incase you missed that .... i am for going about your legal activity in new eden ( this being activity that does not infringe any laws EULA or otherwise, and does not get you killed by law enforcement ...this being concord) you on the other hand choose the other side of the fence (the criminal side) thats why you die to concord ever day.

      and the only time i feel even remotely "lugubrious" is when i have the misfortune to have to travel in any areas occupied by you and your ilk. :)

      Delete
  10. The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!

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    1. of course welp souprano of course

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  11. Looks like Anti-Ganking is non-stop failing daily continuously.

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    1. I wonder why they don't save the freighters and miners?

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    2. I watched an Anti-Ganking "fleet" hard at work last night they rushed in and then did nothing except watch a freighter get bumped for 15 mins then they watched it get reduced to scrap and still they did nothing. So I guess anti-gank is more like watch-a-gank.

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    3. Don't forget the part where they whore on concord kill mails. That makes a huge difference on the battlefield and dramatically changes the outcome of things.

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    4. Chocolate Mooses you are 110% correct!!!!

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    5. ...and I've been accused of being the whore... ;) hehehe

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    6. There is a difference between being accused and actually being.
      No one ever accused you of being one, since we already know.

      Delete
  12. Thirtyone OrganismJune 13, 2015 at 10:35 PM

    Amazing. That brought a tear to my eye.

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  13. So one day ming is walking around in station (since he never undocks) and see's that there is something going on near one of the higher ledges above the docking bay. Concord officers are there and are trying to talk down from the ledge a beautiful blonde girl who is about to jump. Strangely ming descides to be the hero and try to save the girl, and he turns to the rest of code and says "watch this guys!" Boldly he struts up to the girl, walking past all the onlookers and the concord police, struts right up to her and asks her what she is about to do. She says she is about to jump to commit suicide. Thinking quickly (yea, i know ming dosent think quick, but be patient), he tells her "Well sugar lips, if your going to die at least give me a nice kiss first." She leans over and plants a kiss on mings lips, and the kiss goes on for what seems like hours. Satisfied and thinking he is quite the man ming smiles at the rest of code and asks her "So why are you planning on jumping? You could join code and have a great time ganking miners with us." (Yes, i know ming dosent undock or gank). She turns to him and says "My parents are upset that I, their only son dresses up like a girl"
    Its still unclear if ming jumped or fainted and fell over the ledge.

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    1. TLDR for this wall of text please.....

      Paragraphs are your friend.... Please for the love of god use them next time >.>

      Delete
  14. New Eyesight chart for code members to use to check their eyesight is in.

    |------------------|
    |.........I........|
    |.......AM......|
    |.....SOFA....|
    |..KING WE..|
    |.TODD DID..|
    |-------------------|

    Enjoy

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  15. Earlier today scientists from Caldari state declared that the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. Unfortunately they forgot to mention the code morons.

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  16. Ming goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party."
    The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes."
    The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist goes to work and finds the same guy waiting for him on the door-step. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?" The guy replies, "Quick, I need Blue Ice (muscle pain relief).
    The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive."
    The guy says, "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm."
    Pharmacist: "What?? What happened?"
    Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion."
    Pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what ? "
    "The girls never showed up!"

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  17. Ming went hunting on the first planet in the jita system. He finds a small brown bear and shoots it, all proud of himself. Then there is a tap on his shoulder and he turns around to find a big black bear.
    The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Ming decided to accept the latter alternative.
    So the black bear had his way with Ming. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Ming soon recovered and vowed revenge.
    Ming returns to the planet, and finds the black bear and shoots it, and again there is a tap on his shoulder. This time its a grizzly bear.
    The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Ming. That bear was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
    Again, Ming thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Ming. Although he survived, it took several months before Ming fully recovered.
    Now Ming was completely outraged, so he headed back to the planet and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder.
    He turned around to find giant polar bear standing there.
    The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Ming, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?

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  18. Several members of code (including ming) visit the pope on amarr. One of the members asks the pope if there is any dwarf nuns on amarr. The pope says there is no dwarf nuns on amarr. He then asks the pope if there is any dwarf nuns in amarr space, to which the pope says there is none. Finally he asks the pope if there is any dwarf nuns anywhere in eve space, and again the pope says there is none. At this all the members of code except ming start to laugh. The pope finally upset asks why they where asking this. The first code member who was asking the questions laughs saying "Ming shagged a penguin!"

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  19. HAHAHAHAHA. ALANA THAT'S SO SHITTY I LOVE IT!

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  20. Came here expecting carebear tears, left happy.

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  21. All these jokes about ming just go to prove, much like in code, ming is always the butt of jokes ;)

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  22. Batman isn't an actual superhero - he is mortal although well trained and a very good investigator.

    Agents are like Batman. They too have gadgets and a mind set up for investigating reports of ill deeds. Like Batman they too are mortal, but as they're trained better and come equipped they're more likely to succeed than an AFK miner who doesn't actually know what's going on around them.

    In a game where pvp is everything and everywhere, why would you go afk putting yourself and your property in a vulnerable position?

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    1. Basically because the chance of getting AFK ganked in HighSec is considerably low. I have restarted playing in early 2014 and got ganked one time during these roughly 14 months. When I compare the mining yield of that time with the net cost of one Retriever, then we are talking about the proverbial peanuts.

      Of course there are people who are going into conniptions, when their blingy 6 billion Hulk and Pod goes pop, but these people are simply playing the wrong game.

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    2. 1% to be exact...and even that 1% is 99% avoidable...so where does that leave it...

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  23. Aww shit, I missed this, but I did one anyway. Enjoy.

    http://imgur.com/r9t54WZ

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    1. What does the S stand for in that drawing? Super Goof ? Super Lame? Stinks?

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    2. Relax, miner. It's savior, obviously.

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  24. It's becoming clear that the New Order is real change in Highsec. Some of this change has come as the result of victory in honorable pvp combat. Some has been the result of cultural and ethical progress. One way that we can observe this progress is in the revealed truths that the Savior provides to us daily here on minerbumping.com. For example, it used to be that today's Superpower Analogy -- one so packed with truth that it made my extremities briefly tingle -- would have needed a warning label that James was about to dish out some Real Talk. Not any longer; citizens of Highsec and, more generally, players of Eve are now accustomed to the truth. Soon, they will be accustomed to full compliance with the Code. Progress!

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  25. ^^^ and he believes every word of it .....poor delusional soul, you have my deepest sympathy as you sink ever deeper into the black abyss that is the new order, never to see the light of day again, as you labour under the tyrannical rule of "him" . it could have been so different .....if only ....

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    1. What would you know of the New Order? Do you claim to be all knowing...to know all of the members, their lives, and their personalities? Do you claim to understand what it's all about? Have you even taken the time to get to know any agent outside of fail trolling on this blog? Do you really think you understand the complexity of what is Code and its members? Do you understand the concept of what is role play in a game and what is reality?

      ...and you use such words as "delusional"... It seems there is only one person here who is suffering delusions of grandeur.

      Stop and think about it for a minute. You know me to be right..deny it all you want, it doesn't change the facts.

      Delete

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