Friday, June 12, 2015

Salvaging Highsec


The New Order has witnessed a surge in the number of Agents lately. I suppose people know a winning team when they see it. New recruits are eager to prove their mettle against the bot-aspirants of highsec. Agent Zopiclone is typical of the new generation. They often begin by ganking Ventures and Retrievers, and steadily work their way up.


Barely more than a day into CODE., Zopiclone was displaying all the signs of a natural warrior.


Slays is a system in the Placid region, on the outskirts of Gallente highsec. As the region name suggests, it is a quiet system. But as the system name suggests, it's a still place where carebears can be killed. FragMeNot was sitting perfectly still in a fail-fit Astero. His salvaging drones were doing all the work for him.

Zopiclone, who has not yet reached -5 sec status, landed onto FragMeNot's grid and gradually slowboated toward him. FragMeNot didn't budge. Zopiclone was a new Agent, but she'd seen enough to find the Astero pilot guilty of violating the Code.
FragMeNot > wtf
Zopiclone > You were AFK salvaging!
FragMeNot > no..i was not
FragMeNot > you popped in, came up to me, and killed me.
Normally, this would be where the gank recipient invites our hero to a private convo. Instead, FragMeNot expressed his discontent in local. The Slays system was quiet enough at that moment, so there were few witnesses.
Zopiclone > Please get a Salvaging permit from CODE.
FragMeNot > code can suck dick.
FragMeNot > you owe me a ship
Zopiclone > Settle down Salvager
FragMeNot > Settle down?
FragMeNot > really? You accused me of AFK salvaging
The carebear was in disbelief. Indignant, he adamantly denied being AFK and demanded that his ship be reimbursed.
Zopiclone > The CODE does not OWE you anything.
FragMeNot > nope, YOU owe me something
Zopiclone > You were AFK otherwise you would have seen my coming and would not have just been AFK in SPACE while your DRONES did illegal activity
FragMeNot > dude...I was not fucking AFK
Despite his protestations, FragMeNot had a lot of explaining to do. He was a three and a half year character salvaging in highsec in an Astero. Why hadn't he warped out while the gank Catalyst was slowboating toward his ship? Why didn't he have a permit? And if he was so innocent, why was he speaking disrespectfully toward a known member of CODE.?
Zopiclone > If you werent afk salvager this little issue would have never arisen.
FragMeNot > you are a idiot...
Zopiclone > You are in High-Sec and we dont tollerate AFK Bot Aspirancy.
FragMeNot > you are doubly a idiot
Zopiclone > Please get a CODE Permit.
FragMeNot > fuck you, fuck CODE
The pieces of the FragMeNot puzzle slowly came together. It was apparent that he harbored ill feelings toward the New Order. He was probably guilty of thinking bad thoughts about us, too.
Zopiclone > Settle down AFK Salvager
FragMeNot > lol, what a little baby...settle down, settle down
Zopiclone > No need to get angry over your AFK loss.
FragMeNot > whatever, I was not AFK, you are just being a shit
Zopiclone > Again semantics. You would not be having this conversation AFKER if you weren't AFK.
FragMeNot > you are triple the idiot I've taken you for.
The carebear continued to insist on his innocence. However, he was completely at a loss to explain why he hadn't responded to the presence of a Catalyst slowly approaching him in an asteroid belt.
Den'ir en Daire > so......CODE.?
Den'ir en Daire > I assume
Den'ir en Daire > /emote eats popcorn
Zopiclone > Good Fight though!
Zopiclone > Kill: FragMeNot (Astero)
FragMeNot > ....
FragMeNot > you killed me for no reason
The system began to stir from its slumber. Something had actually happened. Locals immediately assumed CODE. must be responsible. Without us, they wouldn't get much content in their game.
Zopiclone > Come ON! You know the reason was that YOU WERE AFK!
FragMeNot > Going for quad idiot folks, quad idiot
Zopiclone > Bot Aspirant Behaviour will not be tolerated in HIGH SEC Space!
FragMeNot > you're a silly guy, do you wear a helmet outside?
Zopiclone > Sadly if you werent afk I definitely would not have been able to close the distance to 1km on you before you popped.
Zopiclone > But keep telling yourself you were actively piloting that spacecraft!
Zopiclone > at 0km/hr
Our Agent urged FragMeNot to confess. It would make things so much easier if he simply admitted his guilt.
FragMeNot > yeah...I was fucking salvaging you moron...
FragMeNot > with drones? That fly out, do my bidding?
Zopiclone > AFK Salvaging nonetheless
FragMeNot > You must be the special kinda stupid...I'm sorry, I feel sorry for you
FragMeNot > go home, you are drunk
Zopiclone > Great fight!
FragMeNot > yeah, merry fucking christmas
At long last, the carebear came up with his excuse. He considered himself actively piloting his ship because he was busy salvaging with his drones. His drones were autonomous, sure, but FragMeNot felt that if his drones were active, that should be imputed to himself.
Zopiclone > Dont forget to buy your CODE Permits! All praise JAMES 315! Praise His Name!
FragMeNot > you love that CODE cock dont you?
FragMeNot > COCK agent?
FragMeNot > guess you'll be eating that CODE cock sandwich?
FragMeNot > you can leave, that'd be good
Stjaerna Ramundson > great to read this bla bla in the deep morning for getting tired enough to sleep
Zopiclone wasn't persuaded. She knew the Code too well. FragMeNot was a bot-aspirant. He probably wished that his whole ship could be a big, fat drone.
Zopiclone > www.minerbumping.com
Zopiclone > Please elighten yourself
FragMeNot > blah blah CODE sucks blah blah
FragMeNot > aint got time for you or COCKCODE
FragMeNot > I'll salavge as I please
FragMeNot > I'll do as I please
Zopiclone > Its OK I can only show you the way, you have to be mature enough to understand it.
Zopiclone > Enlightment is not outside of your reach.
Zopiclone > Fly Safe Misguided soul. o7
With some parting words of encouragement, Zopiclone left the Slays system. She'd scored a PvP victory--and more importantly, a moral one. Like all New Order Agents, Zopiclone understood that our goal is to always leave a system better than we find it.

37 comments:

  1. Let's be honest here. Code or no Code, when you name yourself "FragMeNot", you're just painting a big fat target on your forehead anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ICantBeGankedHaHaHaJune 12, 2015 at 6:22 PM

    I don't understand, whatever do you mean?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Of course Zopiclone is new in the business, so through experience his rhetorical skill will become better. Nevertheless he could have been more subtle. Illegal miners have to be guided slowly to the point where they realize their crime and eventually confess.

    ReplyDelete
  4. surge in numbers? what the welfare office let you out early?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More like school was let out early due to (one of code doing) a bomb threat.
      Amazing how many of them are in their 30's and 40's and still attending public school.

      Delete
  5. The Code always wins !!! \o/

    Guilty admission, I did lol at this: "FragMeNot > you're a silly guy, do you wear a helmet outside?"


    ReplyDelete
  6. Good work! Agent Snigie Audanie!

    ReplyDelete
  7. There are better ways to respond than just using expletives we have to say.

    Always mine in Panorad Always!

    Regards RS

    Free Systems Of Panorad! (FSOP)

    ReplyDelete
  8. So some chump attacks me while i'm salvaging and it's considered blog worthy. you idiots are worse then Hitler with your propaganda and thuggery. you can take your permit and choke your mother with it, also I bought a new Astero and am happily salvaging to my hearts content - you changed nothing numbnuts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fake frag or butthurt frag?

      Delete
    2. Salvager, please calm down, your tears are glorious :D

      Delete
    3. Salvager, please calm down, your tears are glorious :D

      Delete
    4. Did I hear my name? How can I help you?

      Also double posters are "subhuman" send this filthy sorry excuse of life to the gas chambers. The New Order of Hitler demands it!

      Delete
    5. Dear FragMeNot

      You do know you are playing into the New Orders hands.

      Maybe you should salvage in Panorad.

      You won't be bugged very often and you could contribute your support to the Free Systems Of Panorad instead of screaming in local chat or posting on this forum where it is full of people who quite frankly will just laugh at you.

      Anyway have a nice evening.
      Kind regards Rhalina Sedai.

      Always mine in Panorad Always.

      Free Systems of Panorad (FSOP)

      Delete
    6. lkdsjfnhaksdjhfc;.,smnfs.,khldkjf;sdlamcljkdhslkfhsoaeijf;l,mdckljhsldkjfpauwopurefpoksjdlhkcnjhedfpo[iugpoaweys;kjnlkjzxhcl;kjawdsortweoidjc;lkzjhfislkjnvouyhwiouyfaskjdclshciudsyrofijsdlchiosaj;'jfgvopiaw7erfknmclbhkjzxhcpoka[psoi7ufdoushjc pousdyfoisdhcp[ksdcoiushopnv idyflkdsmc;lj iudafyhsdofjljdshfiosncxoyhfas l;jfshijsdnnkljfiashf;lkx sc db fisduhfoidyufljkanfbsdcknlkjhsdf l;dfkhdslkjflsdma cosjdfhlsd;kn fsdiofhdsl;fjlskdjfljhsdflknsdflhafophwerokmnldx;fsd;lmfljsadhflukhsdl;cnjfvhbsld;akjfoiugesdfcksngvoijuhfldnasdvbksdnjafgweojncalkxznmbcjkhfdsaoljfksdbc ldsjfghljkfhnsld;h lfdkyasfdlsj;knfds;aliuyfsdalj;nhfhgsdaoiuoifrywkjlfcnsdbv dsofjhdsouifyhodsnjcbfcv;asiyf

      Delete
  9. Eh, I guess you do learn something about fitting from these folks... I had never realised it was possible to fit an expanded probe launcher on an astero. Of course, seeing how that ship managed to accomplish this I really don't understand why anyone would want to...

    ReplyDelete
  10. ...Enter the tear filled whining and rhetoric of the lowly carebear. I swear, it's sad when a woman has bigger balls than the men do...I suggest Bronies online to sooth your manginas. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down fake kaely @ 12:50 am
      We seriously dont need to hear all about your sexual conquests.

      Delete
    2. Hey look... The whore of code has decided to grace us with "its" presence... Tell me you now hooking up with the rest of eve, since we all know you have fuck all the guys/gals in code already?

      Delete
    3. No no, ming is the 'it'.
      Kaely is the thing.
      Get your genders correct, please.

      Delete
    4. @kaely

      "I swear, it's sad when a woman has bigger balls than the men do"

      may i sugges you stop associating with the men of code then and maybe go find some real men elswhere, as it would appear those you kick back with are slightly lacking in the gonad department, as you continually reference said gonads....just an idea :)

      Delete
    5. Lowly Carebear, kaley? You lying code monkeys are lower than anybody...

      Delete
    6. whole lot of angry ship toasters here

      Delete
  11. It's sad when a woman admits she has balls. It's sadder when she pulls them out and they are in fact bigger than yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, we dont judge, unlike code.
      If she is a she-he, well that is kaely's business.

      Delete
    2. She-He's are not permitted in New Order of Hitler territory. You shall have the "subhuman" burned out of you in the ovens. Take "it" away!

      Delete
    3. Hey now, be nice to bruce....err i mean caitlyn....errr kaely.

      Delete
  12. ohfegoui;sdfaoisdfaoi;jhfsdaohijsdfauosdfa

    ReplyDelete
  13. Best Post in a While although they are ALL great. You should Impose new Salvaging Permits FO SURE! New Rules!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Job well done. Congratulations on your victory Agent Zopiclone. Keep up the good work. 07

    Carl

    ReplyDelete
  15. Fuck, I forgot about this. Lol fun times.

    ReplyDelete

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