Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Indecent Proposal, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... JTClone Ares entered into discussions with Agent loyalanon about the possibility of disbanding CODEdot for the price of 20 billion isk. At first, JTClone acted as though his grudge against the New Order was a thing of the past. Then he expressed interest in making the bribe, though he didn't have enough money. Thus, the negotiations were inconclusive. Then JTClone brought up a name from the past, his hated enemy, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet.
JTClone Ares > o/
loyalanon > hello
JTClone Ares > sorry to distrupt anything you may have going
loyalanon > what can i do for you
JTClone Ares > what are code relations with TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet
TheInternet, of course, was the Agent who had caused JTClone to suffer his greatest defeat last year, by tricking him into handing over his alliance. JTClone asked loyalanon about a possible connection between the two.


At that moment, TheInternet was in CODEdot, and a member of loyalanon's corporation. In the killmail seen here, TheInternet was part of loyalanon's fleet and landed the final blow against a 14.5 billion isk jump freighter.
loyalanon > not sure i dont know much about him
loyalanon > is he bothering you
JTClone Ares > he is sending things that should not be sent
loyalanon > hmm
loyalanon > unfortunatly until we have some kind of working relationship I wouldnt be able to do much for you
Despite JTClone's calm outward appearance, he was a man in turmoil. His alliance, The Aurora Renaissance, had been embroiled in a summer of endless wardecs. At its height, the alliance grew to over 100 members. It was then that TheInternet, along with Agents Sha'Nay'Ka'Cornbreesha Chan and AeleDeux (with moral guidance from Agent Kalorned) felt compelled to launch an investigation of JTClone's new enterprise.
Georgia B Dixie > I could make you an offer, but if I do, you have to keep it between us, and you have to promise me to keep the offer between us before I even make it
Georgia B Dixie > if you help me out with something, I can take care of your ISK problem, and get you vouched into a corp that takes care of newbros better than any other
xxxxxxxxx > tempting.... where is your benefit? :-)
xxxxxxxxx > before i dont know what you want from me, i can´t promise anything...
There's more than one way to get a spy in an alliance. Rather than apply to join JTClone's alliance directly, our heroes sent Georgia B Dixie to chat up preexisting members of the alliance.
Georgia B Dixie > there's a group of players who have been targeting your CEO for a long time
Georgia B Dixie > I mentioned them earlier, CODE. It is a particular group of players within CODEdot, and I know that they have at least one player in your corporation. It could be you for all I know, but I don't think it is based on our conversation.
Georgia B Dixie > I'm going to see if I can't give them a taste of their own medicine, but I need to gather a bit of intel to do it. I need to do this discretely.
During a convo with one such member of The Aurora Renaissance, Georgia filled him/her in on JTClone's backstory.
Georgia B Dixie > I know JTClone is a nice guy, but he has a history of getting destroyed by this guy. I don't want him to be aware of what I'm doing, because he could, quite frankly, totally blow itl
Georgia B Dixie > if that happens, it will be hard to find out who is the mole
Georgia B Dixie > what I need from you is eyes and ears, maybe more depending on the situation
xxxxxxxxx > im not sure, that im understanding you, cause my english is not perfect....
It was a cryptic conversation. But eventually it became clear that Georgia was engaged in a mole hunt.
Georgia B Dixie > what I am asking you to do is to spy on your own corporation, to serve as my eyes and ears, so that we can stop these guys who are out to screw up your corporation
Georgia B Dixie > Your CEO & other corpmembers can't know about what you're doing or else my hand will be shown
Georgia B Dixie > if you do this, and help me, I will reward you for your loyalty. I will need it if my plan can work.
xxxxxxxxx > i only must spy that you can find the mole in our corp right?
Georgia B Dixie > mole or moles, correct
xxxxxxxxx > and you want to know thi, acuse you want a revenge at the CODE?
By "mole hunt", I don't mean Georgia was trying to uncover a mole. I mean she was hunting for someone to become a mole.
xxxxxxxxx > why do you dont tell this JT?
Georgia B Dixie > Well, I don't want to sound harsh or anything, but when it comes to counterintelligence, JT has a history of catastophic failure
Georgia B Dixie > I could point you to examples but that would give the gankers blog more traffic
Georgia B Dixie > my vision of success here would be identifying the mole/moles, getting the proof we need, and then annonymously tipping JT off so he doesn't know where the information came from
Georgia B Dixie > give JT a chance to pull the trigger & kick them out, hopefully before they make their move.
Georgia B Dixie > Here's the thing, if JT finds out what we're doing, and panics, and starts making bad decisions, that could play into the hands of the gankers. Which is why secrecy is essential.
And so one of JTClone's loyal members became a CODEdot spy, while thinking s/he was helping to stop CODEdot spies. The recruit provided our heroes with a full API, granting them access to all corp and alliance communications. With their newfound ability to spy on JTClone's alliance, our Agents found some deeply disturbing information. Unsurprisingly, JTClone was running an alliance-wide ore buyback program so his newbies could spend all day mining to sell him ore at a discount. (Once again, the Anti-Gankers who claim they're out to help "new players" do nothing but exploit them.)
Bullshit war coming
From: JTClone Ares
Sent: 2015-08-05 22:16:00
To: The Aurora Renaissance

OKay guys we got a WD incoming by a blue. All ships orcas, barges are to be docked up until the end of it. I need you all in combat ships and on comms. If you guys own any unprotected towers now is the time to put defenses on them and have pilots on the ready who can control them. Taking 12 steps back then 1 step forward(I hate using this tatic but it works).

...

Guys just remember this I have been in way to many wars to know almost every tatic in the book. If you guys want to live you do what i say and no one dies. This means out of the JTClone Ares Lala land i am building for you and into my JTClone Ares War room land(which i have always on the ready)

...

I know what i am doing and I will need some logi pilots online. Also if they decided to go for the easy things ik how to take them out but you must listen. If any of you guys are playing eve to fly all the cool shiny ships and because the main power players of eve are leading you on I am going to imaginelly slap you upside the head. I will need logi pilots (yes the osprey may be ugly but we will be switching bewteen armor and shield. Just remember that i am good at what i do.

Before we even undock you wait for an FC and no hero tatics. I will look up to you as taken command when i am offline but very foolish unless you have everyone on baord and they know what they are doing.

Please listen to my every instruction i give you because I want you to have fun and not die although its part of the game but I want you to die in fleet actions not 1v30 man fleets.

Sincerely,
War Commander - JTClone Ares
Alliance CEO
Our heroes also got front-row seats to the "JTClone Ares War Room Land", as he put it.
Upcoming war
From: JTClone Ares
Sent: 2015-08-15 05:35:00
To: The Aurora Renaissance

okay boys new WD dont be a fraid of this one ik pretty much how they work as well as some of the guys in this alliance.

...

Now I might be sounding like an ass and other what not. Just remember I have been well over 70 WD by now so i have learned from pretty much everyone of them and what not so I will need you guys to remember those who have been there and know what they are doing will make sure you wont die because they will teach you what to know. Just remember just views may clash with one another but each view has a point.
The embattled alliance leader became increasingly frustrated as the wardecs continued to pour in.
What i need you guys to do for the next 4 weeks
From: JTClone Ares
Sent: 2015-08-16 02:06:00
To: The Aurora Renaissance

next 4 weeks
I want you to get into fleets of atleast 2-4 pilots
and go roaming with one another and get to know each other
this war is about to turn into whats called a dirty war
so they will be looking for all you easy targets as in make yourself look hard to kill and be hard to kill
only engage if you are 100% sure you can in if you are 99.99% sure just grab your ship and dock
if you are a new pilot grab a venture and go find a quiet system and mine but always have local open
if you go afk you will die and i will look at you with wth eyes

...

I didnt want to go back and delete the shit i said in alliance chat but pretty much what i need you guys is to think. This will help on your survival eve instincts. I learned when i have had 1v1 fights with a WT up to 1v5 you will learn shit but dont do what i did and learn the hard core path that shit tires you out real quick.
TheInternet was pleased to see that at least JTClone was beginning to embrace some of the Code's ideas, such as the prohibition on AFK mining. However, less pleasing was JTClone's attitude. He, like so many other carebear CEOs we've seen, constantly tried to convince newbies that he was an expert on EVE.
new WD
From: JTClone Ares
Sent: 2015-08-27 02:28:00
To: The Aurora Renaissance

Who wants to help me come kill 2 maggots with me because this is starting to really piss me off and i normally dont get pissed from a WD.
August dragged on. At TheInternet's prompting, additional wardeccers joined in on the fun. But TheInternet also wanted to test JTClone's internal security. To spread paranoia, TheInternet taunted JTClone with leaked communications gained from the unwitting New Order spy.
Forwarning everyone
From: JTClone Ares
Sent: 2015-09-04 02:02:00
To: The Aurora Renaissance

o/ boys,

This is just a heads up for all new as well as old pilots if you get a random person to convo you and they ask or say anything about code or new order. Just to let you know they are a code alt. So if i were you let me know just bring it to my attention and pretty much tell them to fuck off. All they want to do is use you and make a mockery of you. I have had my fair share with them and they will try to use you. All they care about is their little troll world and thats it. So from here on out make sure you are on comms to full and actual intel if not let me know. Also If they ask for your api deny them full rights to it. Only your CEO's should have it thats it.

Sincerely,
JTClone Ares
Alliance CEO
Now we're almost caught back up to where loyalanon joined the story. Eventually, JTClone came to realize that he had a spy in his ranks. Would he successfully uncover the identity of the spy, or would his counter-intelligence program prove to be an even greater disaster?

To be continued...

20 comments:

  1. Oh my god - the Fisherman Spider got Fisherman Spidered...didn't he.

    I didn't think this could get any worse for JT -- and then it does. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh wow, this has more plot twists than 'The Usual Suspects". Who will Keyser Soze turn out to be I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Just remember that i am good at what i do."

    JTClone Ares, never knowingly making an ass of himself.

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  4. This is proof that most of these are manufactured drama. JTclone is just a code alt. And all these stories are just manufactured. They make good reading don't get wrong, but they are about as realistic as letters to penthouse forum.

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    Replies
    1. As someone with insider information on the entirety of the JT Clone Ares saga, I can tell you with no shadow of doubt that the JT Clone Ares sagas are true. They're just so beyond belief that most people would probably feel that they have to see it with their own eyes to even believe it.

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    2. One of the directors in my corfp used to be the ceo of JTclone's old corp. He'a not an alt of anyone. he's really just that dumb.

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    3. There's a soundcloud recording of JTClone Ares somewhere. He's definitely not the fastest frigate in the fleet.

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    4. *meh* without actual screen caps of these convos and mails the legitimacy of this story is dubious at best.

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    5. The reason that we have not released screenshots is to protect the identity of our spy. All of the information contained in this story can be verified. JTClone, of course, will lie, and deny everything. He always does.

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    6. As someone who talked with JT when he was extremely new to eve (leading his 1st corp) I can tell you that JT is 100% real. This really is how he acts and talks.

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  5. This is a good one, very fun to read :)

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  6. Is there an English translation of JT's Evemails? Google translate just isn't cutting it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.gizoogle.net/

      It still won't be understandable, but it will be even funnier.

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    2. WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU NOT UNDERSTAND SOMETHING SO SIMPLE! REPORT TO JT CLONE ARES' WAR ROOM LAND TOMORROW AT 0600 FOR BRIEFING ON ALL RELEVANT CORP MAILS!

      Delete
    3. Gizoogle makes him sound a hell of a lot more badass, anyway.

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    4. burst out laughing when i read what gizoogle translated

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  7. "Guys just remember this I have been in way to many wars to know almost every tatic in the book."

    LOLOLOL

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  8. Phew, I almost forgot about the previous saga: "Ocean's Zero"!
    www.minerbumping.com/2015/01/oceans-zero-part-6.html

    And this...
    i.imgur.com/RiJpmcm.jpg

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  9. This is exactly what makes EVE so fantastic..... the human interaction between players.

    ReplyDelete
  10. but why didn't antiganking stop tweeps from pvping that jump freighter???

    thats right i apologise forgot for a moment that AG fails non-stop daily

    ReplyDelete

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