Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Crazy Like a Foxbolt, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Reddit was horrified to learn that Admiral Foxbolt was trying to collect real money from members of his corporation, BATTLESTAR FEDERATION. Foxbolt was soon deposed, and he biomassed himself. The danger had passed... Or had it?


Six days earlier...


It all began as most things do, with the gank of a bot-aspirant's mining ship. Praetor Venerabilis planned to undock in a Hulk, activate his mining lasers on some Pyroxeres, and go AFK. Against any other enemy, his plan might have succeeded. But Praetor was dealing with the New Order of Highsec. Agent Maou Solidus engaged in elite PvP with the miner and killed him.


Several hours later, CODEdot went to high alert when Agent loyalanon received a disturbing EVEmail about the Hulk gank. Admiral Foxbolt was reborn! Now he was the champion of the anti-bullying movement, and apparently Praetor was one of his "paying clients".


You know how a lot of highsec corporations say their corp is dedicated to "mining, hauling, industry, PvP, exploring, whatever you feel like doing"? This was a new one: BATTLESTAR GAMING. corporation existed for the purpose of improving player retention. I've been saying for years that EVE's players are oddly fixated on CCP's financial health. This was the logical outcome of all that madness.


After condemning our Agent's attempt at extortion, Foxbolt demanded 160 million isk. There were three pieces of good news, though: First, the demand was for less than the 240 million isk value of the ship. Second, Foxbolt wasn't pursuing a claim for emotional damages. Third, Praetor agreed to continue playing EVE as long as he got reimbursed for his lost Hulk. (Whew! That was a close one!)


Now for the bad news: Unless 160 million isk was paid, Foxbolt would have CCP ban our Agent from the game. Interestingly, Foxbolt claimed that the miner hadn't brought the gank on himself, even though there was no record of Praetor possessing a permit to mine.


loyalanon was reluctant to hand over the money. Foxbolt urged him to reconsider. Otherwise, The Conference Elite risked a corp-wide ban.


Among other things, loyalanon is an impressive diplomat. He was confident that he could negotiate a peaceful solution. To that end, loyalanon proposed an eleventh-hour TeamSpeak conference. loyalanon always shines at those; he's very comfortable in that format.


However, the situation was even more fragile than loyalanon feared. Foxbolt wouldn't join the TeamSpeak channel unless the money was paid first.


Clearly, it was going to be hardball. Dear reader, it must be so thrilling for you to watch the battle between these two titans of highsec, both at the top of their game. Who would buckle first?


Now it was war. Admiral Foxbolt declared his intention to bring down CODEdot once and for all. Since these EVEmails were forwarded to everyone in CODEdot, random Agents sent replies of their own. Foxbolt brushed them aside:


It was a new day in highsec. The end of the New Order had finally arrived.

To be continued...

29 comments:

  1. Haha this is a fun story :) Foxbolt is batshit insane :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So... Did you guys report him to CCP? I'm 99% certain this falls under the same purview as impersonating a GM.

    Granted, you may not want him banned if he's going to provide minerbumping articles like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll give you a little preview of what's to come:

      "Hi, GM Gamayur here We are glad that you have been able to get a real life job within less than an hour an a half. Is there anything else we could assist you in?

      Best Regards, GM Gamayur CCP Customer Support"

      Delete
    2. Yeah, seriously I hope you petitioned him for claiming to be working with CCP. Get that ass clown out of the game.

      Delete
  3. Dear Admiral Batguano, or Nathan, or whatever name you have today.

    Fuck off forever, or we go to the FBI for attempted wire fraud.

    Love,
    Eve.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It looks like the end of the New Order is near.

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  5. Ohh to be a fly on the wall in the CCP customer support department when they open a fresh ticket and read stuff like this. Do they laugh? Do they cry? Does a Vegas slot machine jackpot klaxxon blare out and make them all jump?
    Can you imagine reading stuff like this daily, and being paid for it?
    In my head I see a vision of a bunch of cubicles, a quiet gentle murmur of people going about their jobs efficiently. A ephemeral chuckle wafts across teasingly. The chuckle grows louder, a distinct laugh now. The laugh moves to belly depths of resonance. Cubicle serfs start to peer over their parapets. The laughter becomes louder and a slight manic tone seems to set in. The first whiffs of panic begin to surface amongst the cubicle serfs. The laughter turns to manic cackling, becoming ever more uncontrolled and demented as if the issuer were possessed. Just as the hysterical fit reaches its crescendo there is a loud thump and the laughter cuts abruptly. The sense of fright and fear in the room is soo thick it almost condenses from the air. A well drilled stretcher crew rush in and tend to the fallen soul. A stern faced imposing manager strides out of his office to confront and subdue the disruption in a demanding tone.
    "What's going on here ?"
    From somewhere in the room a shaky voice so timid its source can't be pinpointed replies.
    "Looks like another petition from Admiral Foxbolt sir."

    ReplyDelete
  6. meh, looks made up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. meh, I disagree. SEEMS made up...

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    2. Of WIN, bitches!

      Delete
  7. What the actual fuck did I just read?!?

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  8. Wow this is gold.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Foxbolt ... The new supervillain of Highsec.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has a way to go to beat Dryson

      Delete
  10. I don't know which is worse....this alleged "harassment", or this guy claiming to be a Federal Officer. I'm pretty sure the latter will result in at least 3yrs in prison / $100,000+ fine.

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    Replies
    1. It turns out he was a prison guard. Or rather, HAD been a prison guard. Turns out he 'quit' , as in 'you quit or we fire you'.

      Delete
  11. You know, as much as I am against the new order and jimmy boy 315 who is now and forever more the buffoon of highsec, I will say this: L-O-L

    As funny as this is, I highly suspect that jimmy boy is making this shit up because there is no way people are that stupid **pauses** On second thought... **pauses again remembering the Jerry Springer show** maybe they are.

    Regardless, claiming to be an affiliate of CCP, an employee of CCP, or impersonating a CCP employee is a bannable offense. I'm sure that Loyalamoron did inform our crusader about this, no?

    BM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, BM, James isn't making this up. And despite the New Order's best efforts to attempt to educate this poor soul to be a code-compliant and responsible citizen of Highsec, he decided his beef wasn't with the New Order, but with CCP Falcon.

      The mails, oh god, the mails.

      Delete
    2. BM i thought you would be making up kiddie porn or incest stories.
      We feel the same way about you as we do fuckbolt. Get out you nasty miner.

      Delete
    3. Actually, moron, this actually happened. I was there. It was real.
      Not satisfied with trying to charge people Real Money to be in his bullshit corp, this stupid fuckwad actually impersonated being a 'CCP subcontractor'

      I'll give you 3 guesses as to what CCP's legal division did to this moron once they were notified and the chat logs/emails hit their desks.

      Here's a hint: it wasn't pretty. For him.


      -------------------

      Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    4. BM, never underestimate the depths of human stupidity :)

      Delete
  12. Isn't this the retard who thought it'd be a good idea to publish CCP Falcons personal email address on his "website"?

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  13. Sad to hear he's out of the game. I was just thinking I should wardec him when I get home from work.

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  14. After googling I ended up at a thread where someone linked the pastebin behind all of this guy's correspondence with CCP. The level of crazy is off the scale.
    After reading the minerbumping posts I was sad this guy might get banned and his entertainment value lost. After reading the pastebin it's clear it's a good thing for him to be away from Eve, as far away as possible, ideally away from all internet gaming and close to professional help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he's not crazy, his mom had him tested

      Delete

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