Monday, November 23, 2015

Crazy Like a Foxbolt, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent loyalanon faced his greatest challenge yet when Admiral Foxbolt un-biomassed himself and declared that he'd received a license from CCP to help improve player retention. Foxbolt's first act was to demand the reimbursement of a Hulk pilot's loss and submit a detailed proposal to CCP on limiting suicide ganks in highsec. After Foxbolt filed his proposal through the petition system, he threatened CODEdot with all-out war.


It truly was, as Foxbolt said, a clash of the titans. The convo crackled with power. It was as if the world might split open at any moment.


The stakes were nothing less than the future of all highsec. loyalanon offered to sell Foxbolt a mining permit one last time before the convo came to an abrupt conclusion. Foxbolt readied himself for war. But his next challenge would come from unexpected quarters...


Thanks to EveSkunk, news of Foxbolt's threats against CODEdot were made public the very next day. The Crime & Punishment subforum on EVE-O became host to a thread about Foxbolt. The author went to Foxbolt's corp's official website to learn about the man's agenda. According to Foxbolt's website:
"A lifetime pc gamer who got tired of the cruel and inhumane treatment of good and moral players getting harassed and becoming victims of cyber-bullying, he took a stand and created his own company driven in building a team of experts in human relations to help players as human beings in building healthy and sustainable social and emotional relations among the gaming community. Before going into his own full-time business, he worked for the Department of Justice as a Federal Law-Enforcement Officer. After 12-years of law enforcement experience, he turned in his badge to pursue his passion for helping the gaming community. His passion and love for this product is what lead to the creation of "Battlestar Gaming, LLC". He is driven in helping CCP's monthly retention-levels by simply treating and caring for the players as human-beings."
Foxbolt wasn't kidding around. His corp really was devoted to player retention, not mining or mission-running.


Thermal Damage spoke for most observers.


The thread was closed, so Foxbolt struck back with a thread of his own.
"I must admit in all my years of playing EVE that I've learned something very important about the personalty profiles of people. We all have a "Physical Reality Profile" and we all have a "Virtual Reality Profile". It is my belief at this time that our " "Virtual Reality Profile" is our true profile even in the physical reality. For the most part, if your a vindictive ******* in the virtual, that's honestly who you are in physical reality..... however you wear a mask and obey society's laws (while law abiding people are watching) in order to not get locked up.... and most of these "true assholes" keep their physical mouths shut because they don't want to get their teeth knocked out.

I read the entire tread... I saw nothing positive, yet people who simply desire to be negative and striving to tear down something that truly aims to help humanity. I forgive you......."
Foxbolt took center stage, roundly condemning the previous thread and speaking with passion about his mission to improve player retention. What motivated him so? Now Foxbolt revealed the secrets of his past, the origin story of this unlikely hero.


Admiral Foxbolt has been biomassed a number of times. His corp, BATTLESTAR FEDERATION, had also been dissolved and reopened on numerous occasions.


Through its many iterations, Battlestar Federation has evaded many a wardec. Only its values remained constant.


Joseph Grafton was Admiral Foxbolt's alt. One look at his employment history tells the tale.


Over and over again, Battlestar Federation has been shut down, only to be reborn. It's hard to imagine that anyone would bother joining such a corporation, other than Foxbolt and his alts. And yet there was. One EVE player joined Battlestar Federation as his first corp.


Who was it, and what kind of a man would that experience make? WARNING: Plot twist incoming!


No... Not you...


It can't be...


To be continued...

34 comments:

  1. I dont know if i can wait till tomorrow!

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  2. The Wis? He's given me viable Intel on targets to gank in his home system (Agal) before.

    The plot thickens.

    ReplyDelete
  3. these long winded posts are a bore...

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    Replies
    1. No one is keeping you here bud.

      Delete
    2. HELP, CODE. IS HOLDING MY 7B JF FOR RANSOM, THEY SAID THEY WILL TERMINATE MY SHIP IF I DON"T COME CLEAN HERE ON MB. BUT I SAID TO THEM, NO THE CODE. WILL NOT BEAT ME, I WILL NOT GIVE IN, I WONT, I WONT, ILL MAKE A NEW CORP AND CHARGE $9.99 NEXT TIME AND IT WILL BE CALLED FOXSTAR ENTERPRISES ltd. MWAHAHAHAHA

      Delete
  4. Long live the fox. EvE has lost a kind and gentle soul who only wanted to help the community, instead of fucking them up the butt without using Vaseline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EVE lost a cancerous shitbag who was a liar and a pathetic excuse for a human being. So, did CCP permaban you in less in 5 minutes or did it take 6, you incompetent pedobear?

      ------------
      Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    2. I would ask the anonymous posters here that are Supportours of the Supreme Protector James 315 to kindly note that this Wily and Intense Provocateaur Mr. "Industrialists and Mining Rights Activist," while having a extremely peculiar name in his own right, contains numerous 315s in his biographical information, and a brief historical search can reveal that the suggestioun that Mr. "Activist" may have potentially changed said information to include the fact that he is, indeed, Mr. Nathan Newsome of "Battlestar Gaming, LLC" has happened in the near recent past," Leadeing the Faithful and Observant Servant of James 315 to possibly "feel" the identity and "pulse" of the undercurrent of The Code underneath what has the possibility of being a ruse, and would encourage you to possibly correctly identify that Mr. Activist may be possibly playing on your "inherent will" to crucify Mr. Newsome with the intent of bringing more gloury and reverance and Honour to The Honourable Supreme Protector and Father of Highsec James 315.

      Please get with this.

      Delete
    3. @Mr Adoulin

      Cancer, permaban, pedobear? Lets not kid ourselves here, the permaban story is just a cover up. As long as I agreed to bio-massing Admiral Foxbolt, my SP is just simply unofficially to transfered to a new account and new character. The important thing as long as my CODE. alt is not discovered then I have nothing to worry about. Only the all mighty Saviour and Protector of High-sec knows who I truly am.

      @Mr Tso

      Our Saviour of High-sec and Supreme Protector informs me that you may be in the running for a double Supreme Protectors Tip of the Hat™ for your outstanding work, keep it up.

      Delete
    4. Fake is fake, yo. Nice try, I'll give ya that.

      Delete
    5. So exactly what level of autism do you have? Three? FOUR?!

      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
    6. @Industrialists and Miner Rights Activist 3:10

      Ahah! You attempt to test my faith and resolulve yet again! Be rest assured, Industrialists and Miner Rights Activist, that your crafty and sneaky challenge shall not go unheeded or unanswered!

      As the faithful servant of The James 315, I know in my Heart of Hearts™ that a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ may only be obtained by those Faithful who purchase the Requisite Shares of New Order Stock necessary to send the total number of Purchased Shares of New Order Stock to a level that exceeds two one(1)-thousand level marks in a single transaction to Supreme Protector James 315. Only then does a New Order Agent, or other New Order Shareholder, qualifiy for said Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, which shall be timely delivered, along with thanks from the Supreme Protector, upon the weekly New Order Purchased Shares Update post.

      As the sole holder of the only Undecuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ in existence, You shall not find me slacking when it comes to being able to acknowledge and recite the Holy Rules of the New Order as set forth in the Code and other Supporting Holy Documentation of Supreme Protector and Father of Highsec, James 315, oh no you won't.

      Delete
    7. WHICH IS THE REAL FOXBOLT AND WHERE WILL HE STRIKE NEXT!?

      Delete
    8. @Mr Tso
      You're a hard agent to break, it appears however there are some agents in CODE who maybe easily brainwashed, how else would James know who can be saved.

      @Mr Charen-Teng
      I would look out for a mining titan in high-sec, there's no way you can gank that unless New Order agents are hacking.

      Delete
    9. Anything can be ganked in a short period of time given enough ships. We may crash the node trying it, but it is in theory possible... Stop talking out of your ass please.

      Delete
    10. @12:09
      Prove it, otherwise you are just talking out of your arse.

      Delete
    11. Nathan you need math proven to you? How stupid are you?

      Delete
  5. I don't understand what is going on here. Who is The Wiz?

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    Replies
    1. Infamous asshole who has around 100 alts and multiboxes all of them in huge mining fleets. Supposedly quit the game when CCP banned IS boxer software.

      ----------
      Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    2. He's alive and well in Agal. Go say hi sometime.

      Delete
  6. But why didnt antiganking stop any ganks?

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  7. But why didn't Code stop any wanks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. because wanking is awesome! 8=====D~~~~~~~

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    2. ALWAYS! But more like: 8=D ~

      Delete
  8. This is like a flea infestation that just won't die!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah CODE can be like that.... poor carebears can never get rid of them

      Delete
    2. because every one who tries seems to be failing.

      Delete
  9. Omg! This just got interesting!!! This is better than an M.Night movie, thank you saviour!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love how when Admiral Foxbolt's thread got locked the ISD moderator made sure to include this in the list of rules violated:

    18. Impersonation of another party is prohibited.

    Forum users are strictly prohibited from impersonating any other party on the EVE Online forums. This includes but is not limited to ISD volunteers, CCP employees, CCP partners and other forum users. This also includes suggesting that an employee of CCP or an ISD volunteer will perform a task for you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. man i havent posted a comment in forever, but it looks like there are still the same old code detractors that go on this site to read funny stories, not laugh, then post vitriol regarding the things they just read. Weird!

    ReplyDelete

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