Monday, November 16, 2015

Crazy Like a Foxbolt, Part 1

You know, the New Order has devoted a lot of resources to improving highsec and enforcing its laws. Highsec is our home; we care about what goes on there. And when you spend as much time in highsec as we have, you get to know the place pretty well. As an Agent of the New Order, one of the first things you learn about highsec is that there are a lot of bad highsec corporations.


Most of them are the familiar breed of lazy, do-everything-or-nothing corporations.


Others are frivolous, and full of nothing but nonsense.


A high percentage exist only to fuel unjustifiably inflated egos.


And then, of course, there are the rebel corps who vow to destroy the New Order, only to fold within a few days.


Most dangerous of all are the corps run by highsec villains like TDD Dominaters. They're truly nasty places. They're designed to exploit new players.


...The abuse is limited only by the CEO's imagination.


Sadly, the worst CEOs tend to create new corporations over and over, no matter how many times their wicked enterprises are destroyed. After you've seen enough of them, you get the impression that belonging to a highsec carebear corp is nothing more than a thinly disguised excuse to indulge in masochism...


Sometimes it's not even disguised. But as bad as the carebear CEOs get, the unfortunate truth is...


...They can always get worse.


Admiral Foxbolt, CEO of BATTLESTAR FEDERATION corp, gained notoriety earlier this year when one of his corp members alerted Reddit about Foxbolt's plan to earn real money in exchange for his highly valued corp leadership skills. The EVE subreddit was outraged. The whistleblower's post was almost 100% upvoted. Foxbolt's days as CEO of BATTLESTAR FEDERATION were numbered.


An anonymous do-gooder soon seized control of Foxbolt's corp, installing a new CEO named Dontrust DafraudFox. The corp information was also slightly modified--to include a more honest description.


The indictment of Admiral Foxbolt rings true. The same could be written about any number of carebear CEOs we've encountered.


As we approach the end of the list of Foxbolt's crimes, we see some sinister foreshadowing. Foxbolt was an enemy of emergent gameplay and elite PvP.


One might hope that the thoroughly discredited Foxbolt would retire from his misguided attempts at corp leadership. His corporation had been destroyed, after all.


Highsec could breathe a sigh of relief. Admiral Foxbolt biomassed his character. He was done with EVE.


Or was he?

To be continued...

18 comments:

  1. The epic saga of the New Order continues! Our tireless efforts keep Highsec safe from supervillains like Jake Salvator, JTClone Ares, TDD Dominaters, that brony ponysquad guy, Mine Teck, and Crazy-like-a-Foxbolt.

    Also: that incident with Jake Salvator and the Torarjan Collective was epic comedy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. don't forget liberty

      Delete
    2. BeBopAreBop RhubarbPieNovember 17, 2015 at 10:27 AM

      My life goal is to forget liberty. BBB truly is a saint.

      Delete
    3. But truly I tell you the true highsec supervillians are the likes of Liek DarZ, the CODE agent who goes AFK to answer the phone, proving what a hypocrite he, and by extension the Cult of Jamey, truly are.

      Delete
    4. @Anon4:00
      haha look how stupid you are

      Delete
  2. Does this series end with this foxbolt idiots meltdown on Eve-O forums?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That EvE-O melt was warm and gooey, while it lasted.
      This is Foxbolt on youtube a while back. Tell me he dont look batshit crazy.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p3uCdqQiOW0&list=PL_baSJpcqpUrNbDIlupZmFO3j5vBotAHF

      Delete
  3. Anyone else notice admiral foxbolt types like jtclone ares? Wouldn't it be hilarious if they were the same

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will admit, this MB post was more entertaining than the usual propaganda here.

    BM

    ReplyDelete
  5. ChODE. member leaves highsec and tries to bump miner, hilarity ensues.
    https://zkillboard.com/kill/50198847/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pffft that's nothing I've lost way bigger ships than that in 0.0

      Delete
  6. Oh god I read the title and about wet myself.

    Admiral Foxbolt is probably hands down the funniest content-generator that I think has ever existed.

    If he's truly back... my James. I just.. I can't

    ReplyDelete
  7. You know what's funny everything that they are saying is true I'm one of the people that was in his corp. The guys is a little unstable lol. Myself and a couple of other friend are the ones that help shut it down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please tell us more about your experiences with the legend.

      Delete

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