Sunday, November 29, 2015

Kills of the Week

Suppose your friend owes you money and he splurges on some frivolous and expensive purchase instead of paying you back. Not a good situation. That's how our Agents feel when they see a carebear flashing bling in highsec when he still owes 10 million isk for a permit! With your sense of right and wrong newly refreshed, review the kills of these decadent carebears from the week of November 22nd @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 28th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



There are a lot of ways to haul faction gear through Uedama. japoke72 was too clever to use a freighter. He opted for an exceedingly fail-fit faction battleship. Our Agents love to shoot ships that can shoot back, so they thought they would have a go at PvP'ing this battleship. Unfortunately, it was AFK. Agents Sasha Cohenberg, BAE B BLUE, Aaaarrgg, Yabba Dabba Do, Zappi, Sophia Soprano, loyalanon, Talon Calais, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Zapper, BAE B PEW, KBKspawnwrath666, Nuclear Fusion Caution, Nelli Alariel, Pod-Goo Repairman, Schizz Popinov, and SynthiaGreey enjoyed PvP'ing with him anyway. To the carebear's 4 billion isk Nightmare loss, they generously added half a billion isk in implants.



Among the more cautious haulers, cloaky blockade runners are all the rage. Vedasa had 3.5 billion isk of cargo to move, so she bought a Viator. Unfortunately, she was too lazy to fit it with a covert ops cloak, opting for a prototype cloak instead. That might sound like a terrible mistake, but you needn't worry about Vedasa: She was on autopilot and unable to activate her cloak anyway. Agent Tisiphone Dira put an end to her adventure.



I've heard it said that wars in EVE are all about inertia, but this is ridiculous. Steven Gary Riraille had over five and a half billion isk in compressed ore. Fate brought him to the Inaro system, which has acted like some sort of Bermuda Triangle of bot-aspirancy these days. Agent HotShotX Warcastle had no trouble piercing the industrial's less-than-robust defenses.



There's always someone who wants to test the theory that our Agents can't bring down a Skiff. Gallateya Zagluschko fit his Skiff so that it boasted far more hitpoints than most other mining vessels. Yet he, like so many bot-aspirants, couldn't resist using his lowslots for yield instead of tank. In hindsight, equipping billions of isk worth of ice harvesting upgrades was probably a mistake. Agents Aaaarrgg, Zappi, Zula Terra, loyalanon, Talon Calais, Sophia Soprano, BAE B BLUE, Pod-Goo Repairman, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, BAE B PEW, and Zapper offered the miner some timely and pointed advice. They also popped the his 2 billion isk pod.



D YOLO's philosophy: You Only Live Once. If so, why would someone jeopardize his life by taking unnecessary risks? For example, neglecting to buy a mining permit? Agent Street Urchin of Proper Mining Etiquette corp destroyed D YOLO's grotesque mining industrial. Unlike the other ships we've seen today, it wasn't expensive. On the other hand, can you put a price on dignity?



Just when you thought the highsec carebears might be exercising more restraint in their implant purchases, ALEXEY Jaynara contributed the Pod of the Week. His 3.7 billion isk crystal set and miscellaneous hardwirings were dissolved in a bath of antimatter, courtesy of Agent BAE B BLUE. ALEXEY, too, was caught flying an unlicensed Skiff.

By all means, miners, tank your ships. It's required. But don't forget your permit tank. Without it, the rest of your defenses are only for show.

13 comments:

  1. Antigankers are failing so hard right now

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    Replies
    1. don't worry they excell at life, please by all means waste away your life on pixels

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    2. If they are this bad at games, I can't imagine how bad they are at actual life.

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    3. Not sure this is entirely true. Truth be told this is one of the worst "Kills of the Week" that I've ever seen. Let's be honest.Your not playing your A game lately.

      What's happened? Are you guys ok?

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    4. Let's talk about it... :)

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    5. Encouragement is always appreciated, let us know what system you're in so we can improve our statistics further...

      Delete
  2. Ihad to lol at this.Prototype cloak on a Viator?,what could possibly go wrong ?

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    Replies
    1. Nothing went wrong, everything worked out for the best ;)

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  3. I agree, alana, the new order does stink...

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    Replies
    1. The New Order smells of bacon. Cos bacon is awesome & so is the Order. << Fact

      Delete

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