Thursday, November 12, 2015

The Skiff Shot First, Part 1

Since the dawn of EVE, can-flipping has been one of the game's most iconic and enjoyable activities. It is also rightly considered to be an elite form of PvP: A can-flipper must fly a ship seemingly weak enough to entice their enemies to attack. But in 2012, CCP virtually eliminated can-flipping by giving miners a voluminous built-in ore bay for their ships. This error was compounded later in the year when CCP implemented a "Crime Watch" system designed to make carebears immune from making mistakes related to the aggression mechanics.

Based on mistaken assumptions of what keeps people playing EVE, CCP believed that making highsec safer and less fun would improve player retention and subscription numbers. Instead, the number of EVE subscribers cratered.

Despite the nerfs, there are still those who practice the old ways. When you see something like Ezzemiah Delma's righteous kill of KORBAN KARDAMA's Skiff, it could be a wardec. Or it could be a sign that the tradition of aggression gaming lives on.

Ezzemiah was on patrol in Kamio when she saw KORBAN's Skiff and a nearby Procurer mining ice without a permit. Incredibly, they were using a jetcan to store their ice! Ezzemiah promptly confiscated the ice, removing it from their jetcan with her Ishtar.

So much for "ships that can't shoot back": The Skiff and the Procurer opened fire on Ezzemiah's Ishtar with their combat drones. Because the Ishtar had gone suspect for taking the ice, the miners weren't CONCORDed. However, our Agents are every bit as formidable as CONCORD. Ezzemiah engaged in honourable combat with the miners, destroying the aforementioned Skiff, along with the Procurer and the Skiff's Capsule.
Ezzemiah Delma > Hello miner. You have questions? What can I help you with?
KORBAN KARDAMA > why did you do that
KORBAN KARDAMA > you stole from me and my friend
Ezzemiah Delma > Do what? I simply defended myself. You initiated combat with me.
KORBAN KARDAMA > you did that on purpose
KORBAN convo'ed our Agent. Though KORBAN was Ezzemiah's mortal enemy and had tried to kill her, she couldn't have been more pleasant or helpful.
Ezzemiah Delma > I confiscated your illegally obtained Ice and disposed of it.
KORBAN KARDAMA > then webed me so i couldnt even leave
KORBAN KARDAMA > you stole it
Ezzemiah Delma > I am an Agent of the Code. It is my duty to enforce the laws of highsec in James 315's territory.
KORBAN KARDAMA > then pod killed me - why that?
KORBAN KARDAMA > I would have paid the 10 million
Ah, the "would have paid" miner. They are a strange breed. For people who would've paid, it's surprising how infrequently they actually pay.
Ezzemiah Delma > You were mining in highsec without a permit so I confiscated and destroyed your ice.
KORBAN KARDAMA > i never herd of having a permit
KORBAN KARDAMA > you just decided to do this
Ezzemiah Delma > the law of highsec, friend.
KORBAN KARDAMA > where does it say i needed a permit?
Within seconds, the miner did what miners always do: He lied. KORBAN pretended to be ignorant of the Code and the permit requirement, even though he had just said that he "would have paid the 10 million".
KORBAN KARDAMA > this is bullshit
Ezzemiah Delma > Miner calm down
Ezzemiah Delma > Mining permits are 10mil isk and last you a whole year as long as you remain Code compliant.
KORBAN KARDAMA > i didnt know about this and you could have sadi something instead of stealing
KORBAN KARDAMA > then you podded me
KORBAN KARDAMA > you cost me 220 million +
Contrary to highsec law, KORBAN failed to remain calm after being killed. He didn't even offer Ezzemiah a "gf". This whole conversation was going south, fast.
Ezzemiah Delma > I ddi not steal from you. I confiscated illegaly obtained Ice and disposed of it.
KORBAN KARDAMA > even in a fight you are not suppose to pod someone - that is pure evil
Ezzemiah Delma > Second, I defended myself. You shot at me first.
KORBAN KARDAMA > this is what you call baiting
KORBAN KARDAMA > you are a griever
Curiously, a miner who didn't follow the Code nevertheless held to an intricate set a beliefs about how players should conduct themselves in highsec. It's as if carebears have their own, unwritten code. No podding, no baiting, no having fun of any kind.
Ezzemiah Delma > Miner, once again, calm down. You shouldnt had tried to gank me. If you didn't, you'd still have your ship
Ezzemiah Delma > I do not suicide gank miners.
KORBAN KARDAMA > so you go around stealing p[eoples stuff and if they try anything you waste them
KORBAN KARDAMA > why didnt concord go after you for shooting me? was it because I fired first
Though carebears often complain about suicide ganking mechanics, they still lose when it comes to combat that doesn't involve suicide ganks. Ezzemiah isn't a suicide ganker. But she's an Agent of the New Order, so she, too, always wins (always).
KORBAN KARDAMA > if what you said was true you could have told someone first
KORBAN KARDAMA > no one here said anything about forfeiting if you dont pay
KORBAN KARDAMA > and i asked
KORBAN KARDAMA > podding someone is NOT self defence
Ezzemiah Delma > You should have obtained the permit prior to engaging in illegal mining activities.
KORBAN KARDAMA > how can a person know before hand
Living in highsec and not knowing about the Code is the equivalent of going to the northern reaches of nullsec and being surprised by the existence of the Imperium, Goons, or The Mittani.
Ezzemiah Delma > Ignorance of the law is no excuse. You still have to follow it.
Ezzemiah Delma > You could had asked why I was taking your Ice if you were really ignorant
Ezzemiah Delma > But you did not.
Ezzemiah Delma > instead you shot at me.
KORBAN KARDAMA > you are a douch and a griever
KORBAN KARDAMA > its people like you that make playing unenjoyable
The trigger-happy carebear shot first and asked (a lot of) questions later. Hypocritically, he tried to impugn the character of Ezzemiah for finishing the fight he'd started himself.
Ezzemiah Delma > You need to calm down, miner. I am here simply sheding light on the situation. No need to be crass.
Ezzemiah Delma > I think you should get your mining permit and become Code compliant. Then you wont have to worry about me confiscating your Ice
KORBAN KARDAMA > your self rightious attitude does not excuse the fact that you willingly destroy many hours of work to satisfy being a bully
Ezzemiah was astonished by the miner's attitude. It was as if KORBAN considered Ezzemiah a bad guy simply because she'd won the fight. Could someone with such a topsy-turvy view of EVE ever be persuaded to calm down and buy a mining permit? Or would KORBAN do the other thing, and descend more deeply into madness?

To be continued...


  1. Kill all hisec miners. All of them. Always.

    1. Silly anonbear.. The Code is about love and compliance. Not killing and hatred.

  2. An Ishtar successfully shooting up some mining barges, pretty much a 'Dog bites man' story.

    Only thing noteworthy here is the utter idiocy of the mining pilots.

    1. Still waiting for BA to point us to his blog.

    2. How are we ever gonna have a blog with this guy pointing out how utterly insignificant everything is?!?


    3. "Only thing noteworthy here is the utter idiocy of the mining pilots."

      This sentence is glorious. It's truly the moment when New Veers surpassed Old Veers in pure Veers diction and meter. Truly, a peerless monument to smug inefficacy. Behold!

  3. The hilarity of the self righteous miner who has a problem when engaged by another player in a MMO, based around players engaging with each other ....

  4. Ah, a refreshing read as always, Saviour! Good to see that can flipping is still alive and well!

  5. Glorious pvp at its finest. Funny how someone engages an Ishtar and then whines when the Ishtar plows them into the ground. You get what you asked for.

  6. "This error was compounded later in the year when CCP implemented a "Crime Watch" system designed to make carebears immune from making mistakes related to the aggression mechanics."

    I disagree with you here. The Crime Watch system helped me kill a~ 2.6 bil pod on the first day it went live. The pod was sitting AFK outside of a station with a red criminal flag. Having read the dev blogs about the Crime Watch system weeks beforehand, I took the plunge and blapped it.

    Carebear tears, courtesy of Crime Watch!

    1. The nature of carebears is whine to CCP to fix things. We pvpers find ways to adapt. If that carebear would had left that agent alone and would had gone to the station to reship into a more appropiate vessel, they wouldn't have stupidly lost a 200mil exhumer. Instead they blame the agent for being smarter than they are.

    2. That's because most new order agents are riff-raff.

    3. You could shoot criminal pods before crime watch dude...

  7. "We pvpers find ways to adapt." Top kek.....high sec pvp. Stop it, I've wet myself laughing.

  8. you peed yourself?

    like an infant?

    1. No thanks, can't tolerate them at all.

  9. Ezzemiah is a hypocrite just like Liek DarZ, the CODE agent who goes AFK to answer the phone, proving what a hypocrite he, and by extension the Cult of Jamey, truly is/are.

    1. @Anon3:43

      And you, by copying and pasting the same comment you wrote on the other page, are proving how edgy and creative you are.

      Pack it up boys, we got someone who finally figured out how to defeat the New Order!

    2. mingalingadingdongpingpongtingtongsingsongbingbong is wrong

    3. Going AFK is allowed as long as you are docked up.

  10. I like it how all miners can do is rant in blogs. Here is an agent you can freely engage without getting Concorded. Why arent white knights tripping over each other to shoot her? Where is the HSM? Oh wait, thats right. They can't whore on this KMs.


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