Tuesday, November 10, 2015

On the Road to Victory, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Liek DarZ was on a quest. Driven by a desire for greatness but tempered by compassion and grace, the New Order Agent slaughtered highsec miners by the thousands. During his journey, Liek encountered miners of varying degrees of bot-aspirancy and always dealt with them according to the Code. The ones who weren't too far gone couldn't help but admire the man.


Yet even the most hardened rebels found their purpose through the Code, whether the realized it or not. Shadedge devoted all his energy to destroying (and not necessarily spelling) CODE. Fortunately, it turns out he didn't have much energy.


Entire corporations found meaning thanks to Agent Liek DarZ.


Nevertheless, it's not enough for the carebears to be inspired by the Code. They must comply with it. A carebear doesn't need to find his own path in EVE--not when we've already determined it for him.


Still, Liek provided what lessons he could to the miners who wouldn't immediately embrace the Code. It's so common for carebears to threaten to use kill rights that Liek drafted his own form EVEmail response for it. Not every carebear appreciated hearing about the uselessness of kill rights.


Liek became a believer in the concept of karma. A miner would say something bad about the Code, and then Liek would kill him for it. Karma!


Our Agent was always willing to lend a helping hand to a desperate miner. Within the bounds of the Code, that is.


Highsec carebears have good reason to fear our Agents. Who wouldn't be intimidated by such power? But being awesome is not a EULA violation. (Thank goodness!)


Kung-Pao was rapidly approaching "Goofus" status.


But thanks to Liek's intervention, Kung-Pao had a future. Touched by the New Order's influence, Kung-Pao eventually joined GoonWaffe and even ganked the occasional highsec miner!


Liek's mission was succeeding. Steadily, quietly, he was rescuing miners. Liek sold one permit after another, recording each transaction in his own logs. Because of Liek and others like him, highsec's Gallant population has been growing dramatically. If you're not paying close attention to highsec, you might miss it. You see, it's the rebels who scream the loudest and get the most attention. The smart miners see the strength of the New Order and instantly submit without complaint.


Behold, Liek's scrapbook of win. The invincible Agent has sold over 300 mining permits already. Upon reaching the milestone, Liek made quick toast to the Code and went right back to work. He won't stop until every man, woman, and child in highsec complies. Who can stand in his way?

22 comments:

  1. Liek DarZ. Truly an inspiring agent of the CODE!

    Well done sir. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liek DarZ was actually the fine Agent who actually sold me my permit. Hats off to him, and his dedication to the Code!

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  3. it's like Tyler Durden collecting licenses in fight club.

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  4. Carebear ignorance of game mechanics is only surpassed by their ignorance of the EULA.
    Fukin usless asshole should be banned for using the petition system as a threat.
    Well he was good for a laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liek Darz epitomizes Elite PvP. Antimatter is his sword, and conviction in the Code his shield. Bravo!

      Delete
  5. CORE alliance is doomed! That guy will destroy them! Glad I'm not in their shoes...

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  6. Wow! Great going Liek! I saved your scrapbook pics for use as wallpapers!


    -Galaxy Pig

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm just glad I'll play my part in getting some gankers banned for good.

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    Replies
    1. haven't seen that oldie in a while

      Delete
    2. Industrialists and Miner Rights Activist how can you get people banned for not breaking the rules? Love to hear it, I got some people I don't like either.

      Delete
    3. Dear, Industrialists and Miner Rights Activist.

      Ganking isn't wrong, mining afk is wrong. Bullying people into buying permit is wrong. so the story is 2 wrongs don't make a right

      Delete
    4. @ anon 922
      No, you won't get anyone banned. Your impotent rage is only good for our amusement.
      Thanks for the tears Nathan

      Delete
    5. @ anonymous anon 3:17

      I'm glad some of here are having fun, I'd be very disappointed with myself if no one on here was very amused at my rants because some people here can get away with RMT (*cough 315 *cough) and i get banned for charging a measly 5 bucks for newbros to have some qualitfy of life playing EVE.

      Delete
    6. @anon 553

      CCP was not amused. We all saw the email chain and the EvE-O meltdown.
      Get help man, get it soon. There are plenty of state run facilities in Florida, and they cannot turn you away if you act crazy enough. Show up in a toga and start demanding that everyone pay you $5/month Caesar fee. Your quality of living should improve after that.

      We however, are amused! But not in the way you are thinking.

      Delete
  8. Liek DarZ, the CODE agent who goes AFK to answer the phone, proving what a hypocrite he, and by extension the Cult of Jamey, truly is/are.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps you should actually read the CODE. AFK is fine if you're docked up. Try again.

      Delete
    2. James 315 has already addressed the issue of AFK agents (http://www.minerbumping.com/2012/08/what-about-afk-cloaking.html), declaring it's perfectly acceptable for agents to remain AFK in space, un-docked. Of course, this applies to agents only, miners are required to be at the keyboard while in space unless given explicit exemption by an agent.

      Delete
  9. He's a successful pirate. Am I supposed to be impressed?

    The only thing required to gank profitably is patience, not skill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down, citizen. I do not, and never did, gank to be profitable. Actually, I made >3.2b in permit sales, but used up ships worth >30b while doing so. Clearly, making ISK is not my primary motivation.

      Delete
    2. @Abbot

      Sigh. The view from the cheap seats must be great, huh Abbot?

      The skill in ganking comes in how we improve it.

      When New Order Agent Globby invented Hyperdunking, do you declare that figuring that out did not involve skill? The act of running a bumping Macharial, (which takes an absurd amount of skill in its own right,) a Bowhead to dump Catalysts into space, and then having to actually run a gank pilot back and forth loading up into the ships, targeting and destroying a freighter, and dealing with anybody that might show up in the however long it takes to actually deal enough damage to destroy the freighter? All on the fly?

      The skill involved, for example, in killing a single untanked mining barge with a single catalyst is, admittedly, low. However, coordinating reconnaissance on several gates in several sectors, Coordinating distribution and fitting of gank ships to willing participants, finding a good bumper, and then enticing freighters into your trap, (don't forget that our favorite gank targets are usually those individuals that buy officer mods, that we list, then track, then gank) all that requires skill.

      Just because you repeat the same old tired line, "ganking is boring requires no skill," is only because you are a boring old cooter, who lacks inspiration, intelligence, and the grace that the Code provides.

      Delete

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