Thursday, March 17, 2016

Foul Nostalgia

Remember the days when highsec asteroid belts and ice fields (not anomalies--they used to be static, infinite ice fields) were filled with Hulks? Clouds of greedy, untanked Hulks. A miner named Nabjorn Amatin was apparently nostalgic for those dark, barbaric times.


Agent Jack Van Impe to the rescue! Jack was on patrol in Tash-Murkon and discovered the Hulk mining in the Mimen system. Our Agent sent Nabjorn an unmistakable message: Highsec must make progress, and there's no going back. The obsolete Hulk was destroyed, along with a 9.3 million isk pod.


Jack sent Nabjorn instructions on how to obtain a mining permit and a more appropriate mining vessel. Jack's EVEmail was thorough, but Nabjorn still had some lingering questions.


Before Jack could answer, Nabjorn sent another EVEmail. I've noticed that non-compliant miners tend to be disorganized in all aspects of their lives. This often results in multiple EVEmails sent one after the other, as opposed to the miner collecting all of his thoughts in a single EVEmail.


And another one. This was one scatterbrained miner. Then again, when was the last time someone improved his mental state by mining in highsec all day?


Jack responded. Behold, New Order bullying and harassment!


That 10 million isk must have been very important to him.


...and another follow-up, for good measure. There are times when one almost wishes the miners remained AFK. But if a miner isn't spewing filth at an Agent, he's probably spreading his poison somewhere else. The only permanent solution is to bring miners into compliance.


Fearing the necessity of using the Red Pen, Jack copied some of highsec's finest on his EVEmail.


Nabjorn hit "reply all" and condemned himself before an audience of EVE legends. He couldn't get excited about buying a mining permit, no matter how desperately he needed one. Nabjorn was stuck in the past. Ironically, he'd never played EVE prior to the arrival of the New Order. Perhaps he simply lacked the instincts of a modern, civilized miner.

31 comments:

  1. Another hisec carebear impotent cunt. But aren't they all

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    Replies
    1. Sir, there is no need for such language on this wholesome site.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. I feel Alana misunderstood Anon 3:44, if that was a reply to his/her comment.

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    2. It was not a reply, it was a general statement.

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    3. Rabble Rabble CODE Something Something

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  3. Do antigankers login just to fail hard daily?

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    Replies
    1. No, if the login failed, you wouldn't have anything to shoot at. But in the other hand, your logic did fail at the Facebook Eve online group.. multiple times.

      Delete
    2. Not only that, Wolf Soprano failed to hold his tongue when I went deep into his ass with my 12" dick. He was screaming in ecstasy when I reached his secret place known as the "bonus room." He was screaming even more when his prostate was getting stimulated by my action. I did a reach around and jacked him off until he blew his load all over his keyboard while he was ganking a freighter. Then two seconds later, I plastered his colon with a hot, steaming load.

      Ming Tso will be making an appearance in the new porn movie called "The Secret Pleasures of Wolf Soprano" in a threesome scene. We start filming next week. The set is almost ready. A few grips still have some lighting to rig up. We will be filming in HD3D using special cameras so that the audience can "get in on the action" as they desire.

      Delete
    3. I remember a time when the ice fields of Nakugard were filled with an abundance of Hulks, Covetors, and Mackinaws, all engaged in vast scale mining operations. Thanks to the dedication of our Agents, this is now a distant memory.

      In principle I am willing to grant Nakugard's civilians permission to mine in a ship of their choice, however they have forfeited this freedom through their unwillingness to follow the CODE.

      Delete
    4. anon 9:17, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus? You clearly need to.

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    5. I think it's funny that Anon9:17 is so angry at buttdevastated at CODE.'s continued daily victories, that his preferred form of "vengeance" is literally being reduced to angrily writing gay fanfiction about us.

      It's so satisfying to see your enemies prostrating themselves in front of you, failing so hard, and yet, you need to do absolutely nothing but enjoy the popcorn.

      Delete
    6. And Ming Tso here is a classic example of a sociopath. You need help my friend.

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    7. @Anon3:36

      Great comeback.

      Miner.

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    8. Loving these veers tears. too afraid to call me out in real life veers?

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    9. Ming Tso failing non stop daily. Saying code wins this code wins that and he isn't even in code...not only that, he hasn't undocked to enforce said code for nearly 2 years!!! Such a wannabe and a failure!

      "...so angry at buttdevastated at CODE.'s continued daily victories, that his preferred form of "vengeance" is literally being reduced to angrily writing gay fanfiction about us." -Ming Tso

      LOL don't say "about us" unless you actually get out and do something!

      Delete
    10. @Anon8:30 - If you take a look at Mr. CODE.-Gay-Fanfic-Writer, he definitely lists Ming Tso as being a top player in his fantasies, so Ming Tso is right in saying that somebody is writing gay fan fic "about us" and including himself in that statement.

      Delete
    11. I think I have our fanfic writing troll figured out...

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0127170

      Am I wrong?

      Delete
    12. Hi wolf, or loyalonn's freighter alt. How is life?

      Delete
  4. Veers, you are a moron. He said "login to fail" not "fail to login." For a ivy league educated space lawyer you'd think a grasp on the very basics of the English language would be required.

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  5. Ahh, more college level conversation from care bears. They really are the worst type of person. People that would embarrass my teenage kid to associate with.

    You are nothing, care bears. You are literally nothing but fodder offered up to entertain others. You think you are something, but it's an illusion.
    You are so important, that I let my kid pick out barges in a belt for me to gank. You may very well die because a kid did nothing more than point at a name in the overview, and entertaining her for 3 minutes is more valuable than you, your ship, your pod, or your game.
    You are dancing monkeys and nothing more. And when you quit while crying like a school girl with a scraped knee, we will consider it a job well done driving the weak and worthless from this game.
    Not that it matters. You think your sub is valuable to CCP? Most of us have multiple accts, for years on end. You aren't even valuable to the company you go crying to when someone drags you out of your mother's basement and forces you to play an MMO with other people.
    So go on...dance, monkeys. My kid will be hanging out with me tonight, and some miner is going to die for no better reason than it will entertain my kid momentarily. Because THAT is how much any of you matter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But, no carbears equals no more targets. No more targets equals no more ganking. No more ganking means no more content. No more content means loss of members. Loss of members means no more CODE. No more CODE means the end of hisec. CONCLUSION: the safety of CODE and Hisec depends on the continued act of carebearing.

      Delete
    2. @Anon5:58

      Your conclusion is, of course, predictably incorrect.

      It is absolutely our intention to eliminate the carebear mentality from Highsec. While we admit that it is our goal to be able to someday "lay our burdens down" as Agents and be able to enjoy the PvP paradise that "The Land Formerly Known As Highsec" or "James 315 Space, A Post-carebear society" would become. and contrary to your belief, New Order Agents would rather not be enforcing the Code.

      However, as long as the carebear threat exists, we must soldier on, as our commitment and dedication to The Code says we must.

      Until every carebear is compliant.

      Delete
    3. So, if you elimate them then CODE will then go away and you will go do something else?

      Delete
    4. And if you guys want a pvp paradise, why not go to null? Out in null, there is no carebears. Just pvp. Well there are null bears, but they ate much less likely to be bot-aspirant.

      Delete
    5. @Anon6:22

      Indeed. If Highsec became 100% Code-compliant, then CODE. will have accomplished its goal and the New Order would probably disband, having no more need for Code Enforcement.

      You can help speed this goal by becoming compliant yourself, purchasing a mining permit (if you conduct PvE activity in Highsec) and by spreading the word of The New Order to everyone you know.

      And as for a PvP Paradise, we already concede that null-security space is such a paradise. This is why we do not enforce the Code there and deem all who live there automatically Code-Compliant. (We have no need to "preach to the choir," as it would be.)

      However, James 315 is not content that there remains a place in New Eden that does not live up to His Standards, a place sullied and denigrated by the hostile presence and toxic attitudes of miners believe they have some fantastical right "to be left alone" and "peacefully mine" in what is for all intents and purposes strictly a "PvP Environment."

      We shall not rest until ALL of New Eden complies with the concepts laid forth in The Code.

      Delete
  6. Yuuup.
    Impotent cunts, the lot of 'em.

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  7. James, do us a favor and delete that spam post above.

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    Replies
    1. Stick it in your ass, carebear.

      Delete
  8. And here I thought they moved MB headquarters to Jita. I guess spam is spam

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  9. Hey wolf, or loyalonn, why can't code come visit me? This is a travesty. Hear I am bored out of my mind mining and none decides to come and gank my retriever. I even decided to stage myself 2 jumps from uedama and nothing. I mean I have been Ganker mlby a goon before and that was quite entertaining when I got back to the computer 30 minutes later. Why can't I have this interaction with the knights of the new order. I would like to formally invite code into my highsec home to gank my retriever. I would love the challenge.
    PS it's Reicher514 BTW

    ReplyDelete

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