Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Goofus and Gallant in Aidart, Part 1

When people come to EVE Online, they tend to bring with them a bunch of misconceptions about the game. It's the New Order's job to correct them. We've been doing it for years. And it's paying off.


Hex Husky was a highsec miner. Despite being a relatively new player, he was well aware of the Code. Agent Zopiclone's work in the Verge Vendor region made such knowledge more freely available.


There it was: Indisputable proof that the Code is good for new players. Zopiclone was pleased to see the belts in Aidart almost empty of miners--but full of asteroids and promise.


One can get an accurate measure of the health of a highsec system by looking at how many times my name is praised in local per hour. You might call it the Saviour Appreciation Index. At that moment, Aidart was a very happy system.


Agents of the New Order provide all manner of services to the good people of highsec. Hex Husky's knowledge of the game continued to be augmented.


Hex took a break to write an EVEmail to me. In it, he offered his frank, honest assessment of the Code's impact on the game.


Hex didn't pull any punches. He concluded his EVEmail with a request to buy a mining permit directly from me. But as Hex was writing this EVEmail, the rest of highsec wasn't in suspended animation. Life went on:


As Hex was writing the EVEmail, Zopiclone had been dealing with another Aidart miner: Master OrionStarhunter.


Zopiclone was revolted by Master's anti-tanked Covetor. She had no choice but to smash it into little pieces. Needless to say, Master OrionStarhunter didn't make a good first impression like Hex Husky did.


The miner immediately initiated a private convo with our Agent. Zopiclone's first impression--formed solely by examining the unlicensed mining equipment--was now confirmed.


Master asked Zopiclone to enlighten him. A reasonable request, since Zopiclone was in that business. But when she enlightened the miner, he refused to listen.


The story was coming together now. Master OrionStarhunter was a Goofus.


One system, two very different miners. What would their fates be?

To be continued...

18 comments:

  1. Ah, Aidart, you never stop giving...!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BEGIN TRANSMISSION
      Snigie,

      I apologize for interrupting you, but I need to jack the top comment for this important announcement:

      Military Experts are claiming they have found the largest salt vein ever discovered in New Eden. Independent sources have confirmed that the girth of this vein clocked in at greater than two hours and contains some of the purest sodium chloride ever discovered in New Eden.

      The subjects in question were miners, losing two Widow-class battleships to wardeccers.

      Authorities are encouraging caution when examining the salt vein, as it fills every spot on the Miner Bingo card, and has the possibility of permanently lowering the intelligence of anyone listening.

      TRANSMISSION ENDS

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Here's an announcement: Myself and Wolf Soprano, along with a few others will be staring in a pornography film called "The Private Pleasures of Wolf Soprano." There are two scenes planned with me and him. Additional scenes are planned between Wolf and Nitetime Video, Wolf and The Colonel, Wolf and chocolatemooses, and Wolf with Fiddly Pop. The final scene will be an orgy with all the above participating. The film will be directed by none other than James 315 himself. So Wolfie boy, it's time we take our lovemaking to the silver screen.

      Why is James 315 directing this you might add? Because he feels that the New Order should expand into new markets.

      Delete
    2. is this the site you write for: adult-fanfiction.org ??

      Your style is really familiar can you link some of your other work?

      Delete
  3. antiganking is failing non-stop daily continuously ALL the time XD XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://puu.sh/nHNO8/29a3f96da3.png

      you are this ag are you sayen you fail coz you are ag?

      Delete
    2. Miner, no one can understand your tears. Please cry coherently.

      Delete
    3. Buying more skill points will not defeat the Savior of Highsec.

      You should use them to buy points toward becoming a successful ganker, and join the crusade.

      Delete
    4. And, Wolf Soprano, you are failing non-stop daily continuously All the time to keep your shit in your ass. You are losing it through anal leakage. Man, I can't believe that I fucked you in the ass so much that now instead of pushing the tasty brown nuggets out, they just slip out of you.

      Delete
    5. anon I applaud your coming to terms with your homosexuality but I don't think it's really slowing down the new order much.

      Delete
  4. Not only is Master OrionStarhunter's first name 'Master', but his alleged rank is 'Fleet Admiral'.

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess Fleet Admirals fly fail fit Covetors on classified missions!

      Delete
  5. This bullshit is all fake and staged, No new player I've ever helped has said one good thing about the cumfaced CODE agents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well this was the first one I met in person, they are pretty rare.

      Delete
  6. Prices of minerals are stable. Are you really having an effect on highsec mining, or do most minerals come in from nullsec mining?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anon 7:01,

      Like all responsible governments, we cherish stability, both in the markets and on the 'streets'. It is false to peddle the myth that we are somehow trying to destroy mining as a profession within EVE Online.

      What we seek in Highsec is a stable PvP environment; the method of choice is enforcement of The New Halaima Code of Conduct.

      Our 'effect' is only indirectly upon mining itself, as carebears forsake the profession entirely for PvP or diversify in the same direction.

      No, The Code directly affects Highsec mining by encouraging the miners to take the journey towards compliance; to accept - however grudgingly - that EVE is at its very core a PvP game and that they will never escape the consequences of the game's design.

      Think of it in this way, and you'll see that mineral prices (as a measure of our success) are completely irrelevant.

      Delete

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