Wednesday, March 9, 2016

MalkePigen's Swan Song, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Anti-Ganker MalkePigen wailed in local about the unfairness of EVE and the invincibility of the New Order. She freely admitted that it was impossible to stop our Agents. She hated the game and cursed CCP. She threatened to quit the game, yet she returned to Uedama day after day to fill the system with her tears.


MalkePigen's latest complaint was twofold: CODE. gankers were "harassing" people while hiding in stations.


The carebear was no denialist; she didn't make claims about the New Order being unable to affect anything. Quite the opposite. She declared the whole game ruined by the Code.


MalkePigen's fountain of tears continued to flow. Given enough time, she might compose a haiku by accident.


Our Agents let MalkePigen know they cared. It was difficult to communicate with her, though. Her replies were often garbled.


On MalkePigen's home planet, people write vertically.


Someone needed to pick up the pieces and put MalkePigen back together again. Agents Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri and Knackered Old Goat had a pretty good idea of how that could be accomplished.


The Anti-Ganker still had a suspicious and hostile attitude toward our Agents. She wanted Salah to demonstrate good faith.


Salah was up to the challenge, but MalkePigen changed the subject again.


Uedama's chief tear supplier spoke in riddles. She was neither miner nor Anti-Ganker. What was she? If our Agents provided the answer, I guess they won a prize or something.


As an aside, it's odd that MalkePigen has always denied being an Anti-Ganker. Her killboard is full of CONCORDed Catalysts and rookie ships, and empty pods.


MalkePigen's gruff exterior gave way. She was about to go into full supervillain monologue mode. She would finally reveal why she kept playing the game she hated so much.


The bombshell dropped.

To be continued...

21 comments:

  1. That miner really needs to calm down.

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  2. Dun dun dun...

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  3. But why didnt antiganking stop one of there own crying in local.

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    Replies
    1. ps. looks like they failed AGAIN!

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    2. Wolf Soprano has been doing a lot of crying lately. I fuck him in the ass, then I fuck him in the eye socket. Eventually, there will be enough shit in his head so you can literally say that he has shit for brains.

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    3. Look out, we have a random anonymous edgy internet tough guy flavored miner @ 5:44am!

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  4. That'll do pig, that'll do.

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  5. "Given enough time, she might compose a haiku by accident."

    James makes a new post
    I innocently read it
    Now I'm dead of laughter

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    Replies
    1. GAH! Messed up the last line. Oh well.

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  6. CHUMLEE INNOCENT

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  7. Well guess what cumfucks, I'm already enjoying autopiloting and mining AFK with the recent buffs.

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    Replies
    1. Miner, we're really going to need you to just calm down.

      On a serious note, if your idea of paying a monthly subscription fee to not play a game excites you, more power to you, miner.

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    2. Nathan - remember you elected to declare war on the New Order, (knowing your efforts would end in complete failure, since CODE always wins). You are no longer worthy of even the title 'miner'. Therefore please calm down, as Agent chocolatemooses has commanded.

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    3. I thought that guy was banned for ripping off newbies

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    4. @Anon5:14

      That guy was banned for leaking GM correspondence in a fully public attempt to become an CCP-endorsed official player liason for Anti-ganking, similar to what Star Citizen promised its players (mostly ex-miners driven out of EVE by CODE.) they would be able to do.

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    5. Yes yes thankyou Mr Tso, I know my accomplishments are flattering to a lot of people who know about me!

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  8. chocolatemooses is right. If you enjoy a game by not playing, the next step is to not log-on at all!!

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  9. I am once again honoured to be have my words posted on MinerBumping.com!! I had a feeling while I was there that morning that I would be seeing that conversation once again, and here it is! Praise James!

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