Monday, April 18, 2016

Call in the Kevlary, Part 1

Highsec is a paradise-in-progress. We've got a lot of work to do, and no shortage of Agents willing to get it done. On a routine patrol of Lonetrek, Agent Spine Ripper saw someone making a mess, so she cleaned it up.


Kevlary Odunen's Retriever was worth about 35 million isk. It was untanked and poorly fit. Kevlary had no permit. He was also AFK. Hey, losses happen. No big deal, right? You live and learn.


Kevlary didn't see it that way. Agent Bing Bangboom forwarded a Code Info Guide to the miner. It looks like he didn't read it, or at least didn't get very far.


Kevlary's EVEmail continued. Between insults and threats of EULA violations, Kevlary peppered his rant with advice on how to play the game properly: Noctises. The future is in Noctises.


The EVEmail concluded, appropriately enough, with a cliché about fighting unarmed ships.


No weapons, you say? EVE expert Jeff Edwards once described combat drones as "angry metallic wasps with death-dealing stings." Try getting one of these through airport security.


Almost immediately after Agent Bing sent a reply, Kevlary fired back with another EVEmail.


Somewhere along the way, Kevlary's train of thought seems to have gotten off track.


Apparently the miner was preparing himself for a future of mining asteroids in real life. There's nothing wrong with using your imagination, but it's important to learn how to navigate the present reality. Right now, that means buying a permit and complying with the Code.


Kevlary didn't get it. He accused our hero of being a CCP dev using hacks to cheat. How else could he blow up an untanked Retriever in a 0.6? Bing decided things had gone far enough. It was time to supply some wisdom:


Our Agents seed highsec with sanity.


Yes, Kevlary was another one of those miners. Within seconds of receiving Bing's EVEmail, the miner denied being a miner. A minute later, as Bing was contemplating his reply...


Kevlary had Bing's full attention now. If he was going to save this miner, Bing might very well need to draw upon the full resources of the New Order.

To be continued...

35 comments:

  1. O... This has all the hallmarks of a thumping good story. Sorry, a Bing Bangboom good story!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The plural of Noctis is Nocti. Just saying. Jamey fails again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In which Latin Case, Anon?

      'Nocits' is Latin for 'of the night' (Genitive Case).

      The Genitive Plural would be 'Noctium'.

      James wants the plural to be instantly recognisable as such to us, so uses a form which leaves us in no doubt. Good on him.

      Delete
    2. Anon is thinking of 'octopus'. Just saying. Anon fails again.

      Delete
  3. IRL threat to hack Bing's accout, I surely hope he was petitioned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, need to start petitioning these psychos. what's good for the goose...

      Delete
  4. Not a miner, but loses a Retriever...ok lol
    I see this foul mouth little bitch is in a corp. I sense a BBB wardec incoming!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems you are quite angry. What's the matter? Wolfie Boy's lover fuck you in the ass with his 12 inch dick and made you his bitch too? Too bad for you.

      Delete
    2. Miner calm down. There is therapy available to help you deal with your self loathing over being gay.

      Delete
  5. Poor Retriever "http://oi67.tinypic.com/2sb3kgo.jpg"

    ReplyDelete
  6. "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." Romans 10:9-10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen to that. Miners need more Jesus in their lives.

      Delete
    2. And you do as well Reverend. In fact, we all do.

      Delete
    3. "If you declare with your character bio, "James 315 is Saviour of Highsec", and believe in your heart that EvE is a PvP sandbox, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your character bio that you profess your faith and are saved." Book of Highsec 10:9-10

      Delete
    4. Thanks for making me throw up in my mouth. Need water now.

      Delete
  7. Another failure from antiganking

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another failure from antiganking

      Delete
    2. Another failure by Wolf Soprano who got permabanned.

      Delete
  8. Where was AG to stop BBB (bless him) from ganking this retriever?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Converted ex-minerApril 19, 2016 at 4:43 AM

    Lol i just spent some time watching Brad Neece and a few of his friends shit up local and fail hard.
    And the gankers they were trying to stop never lost their cool, but made some rather strong arguments, while the AG people went on and on about The Mittani telling someone to kill themselves, and offered no real counter to the ganker.
    I think i saw an exhumer kill right under their noses while the ag fleet tried to camp the gankers in a station.
    I was inspired to park my skiff and start a ganking character. I mean whats the worst that could happen? AG will shit up local and fail to stop me? I like my odds

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice - sounds like how things typically go. Enjoy creating content!

      Delete
    2. I like creating content too! by kill code! Funny thing is, when I do this all the agent can do is whine for a bit then log off to wait for me to leave. code can't handle content competition it seems. Sad because all I wanted was to bring them some interesting content :(

      But where was the rest of code to prevent me from taking out one of their own?

      Delete
  10. So who's the new leader of CODE. ?

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is a story to tell the grand-children and reflect on.

    ReplyDelete
  12. http://imgur.com/SmoJ7VP

    You see this crap all the time in EvE local chats. It seems that the AG folks, instead of "hunting" agents, should be cleaning their own house.

    Thats why you fail AG. Hard and daily. You have chosen the wrong side in this conflict. History will paint you as willfull supporters of evil.
    How can you justify trying to help someone like 6sicks6? Is that what you want EvE to be? A themepark mmo full of impotent, afk miners who wish death, disease, and rape upon you and your family if you decide to play the game properly? It seems the only broken mechanic here is the screening process that allows carebears like 6sicks6 into the game.

    All that is needed for evil like ag to triumph is for good people to do nothing.
    We cannot stand by while ag and their ilk continue to promote this evil, we will fight to the last catalyst. ;)

    Killing evil while fighting CONCORD has become but sport for us. How does AG expect to stop us when CCP cannot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CCP can stop you if they wanted to, they do have the power. They just don't because they know you will all whine and cry about it. Just like you all did for a while before and after the hull resist buffs.

      Delete
    2. If CCP chooses to not stop us it is because they see our cause as just, miner.

      The only whine i see is ag failing, and carebears wailing. Daily.

      Delete
    3. actually, dumbass, they choose not to because their vision is a player run game. To make drastic changes to stop you all together would ruin that vision. They don't give two shits for you.

      secondly, I'm not a miner just because I'm not in this shit code. Come out to nullsec syndicate region and I'm sure you will run into me and then leave in a pod.

      third, you are just a ganker wannabe who is now shedding tears because you have been proven wrong.

      Come find me motherfucker so I can show you a miner!

      -Sempii

      Delete
    4. "I'm not a miner"
      "Come find me motherfucker so I can show you a miner!"

      calm down miner

      Delete
    5. @Anon 8:11

      yea that's what I thought, chickenshit

      Delete
    6. @Anon 8:11

      when you decide to stop being a pussy and hiding behind your anon veil let me know. Otherwise you are just another one of those pussy keyboard warriors.

      -Sempii

      Delete
    7. Sir do you know how mad you were going?

      Delete
  13. Hey quick question, what is to stop a miner from using a trial account to call Concord on grid of a belt with an ecm burst? I forget can ecm be trained on trial accounts? If not then just shoot another miner in a rookie ship, once Concord is there your protected for a while... Has anyone tried this or is it a eula violation?

    ReplyDelete

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