Tuesday, April 26, 2016
It's not uncommon for highsec carebears to produce tears, but what does it take for one of them to put a curse on the Agent who ganked them?
A billion isk podkill will do the trick. To be honest, though, an unfit Retriever would probably be more than sufficient.
The Code is the anti-curse of highsec. It's good for warding off bot-aspirancy and all other kinds of bad juju.
Philip Oliver Holz wasn't interested in reading the Code. He decided he'd rather spend his time wishing in-game car accidents and in-game deaths upon Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman and her family.
From the moment she was cursed, Pod-Goo RepoWoman knew that it would be difficult to get Philip to buy a mining permit. At this point, she'd count it as a minor victory if she could get Philip to stop wishing in-game death upon her--or her family, at least.
I don't know where carebears get the idea that shooting pods is somehow off-limits in EVE. Pods are spaceships, and EVE is a game about blowing up spaceships. Besides, how else are you going to destroy a carebear's implants?
After a few hours of silence, Philip renewed their correspondence to tell Pod-Goo that he wasn't a miner. Of course he wasn't. Nobody's a miner these days, not even the pilots whose mining ships we gank. This raises some interesting questions, though. If there are no miners, why do the rebel carebears complain about the New Order's treatment of miners? Also, haven't we always been told that if there were no miners, we'd have no ships? Why do we still have ships?
(As the author of MinerBumping, part of my job is to anticipate my readers' needs. So here's your link to the Wikipedia article about necrotizing fasciitis. I wouldn't recommend viewing this on a full stomach, however.)
Some might say Philip was a rude carebear for wishing in-dream pain and disease upon our Agent. I would caution against relying too heavily upon dream interpretation, though. Tomorrow night Philip could just as easily dream about our Agent being paid 10 million isk.
As anyone in marketing will tell you, the most difficult customers are the ones who hope you suffer beyond description--even if said customer otherwise fits neatly into your target demographic. This explained why Pod-Goo was having such a hard time selling Philip a permit. But was Philip at least willing to walk back his earlier in-game death wishes?
Technically, yes. Perhaps inspired by his dream, Philip no longer wanted Pod-Goo to die (in-game). Progress. At this rate, Philip will be the proud owner of a mining permit in no time at all.