Monday, April 25, 2016

Call in the Kevlary, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping...


The fury of Kevlary Odunen knew few limits. Upon losing his Retriever, he fired off a barrage of angry EVEmails. But the miner got a new lease on life when he was invited into the exclusive "Why am I dead?" channel, populated by helpful Agents. Instead of listening to them, however, he threatened to retaliate for the loss of his ship.
Kevlary Odunen > Here's a better deal.... I crash your fucking web server.... and your rules... have no links.
Bing Bangboom > whoa
Kevlary Odunen > Speak for yourself dip shit.
Bing Bangboom > I thought I was...
If you're reading this, it means Kevlary failed to crash Google.
Kevlary Odunen > There is Evil, and there is Godly.
Kevlary Odunen > Creators... and destroyers.
Kevlary Odunen > The only thing a Godly man will destroy... is evil.
Bing Bangboom > thank you
Bing Bangboom > I try
With the threat phase out of the way, Kevlary shifted gears. He began delivering an extended speech about his philosophy of life and EVE. Agent Bing, not realizing the miner was monologuing, accidentally interrupted him. Imagine if, during Hamlet's famous "To be or not to be" soliloquy, another character stopped him to suggest he ask the ghost of his dead father to tell him about the afterlife. It would totally ruin the moment. A rare misstep by Agent Bing, who normally observes the rules of etiquette in these situations to a fault.
Kevlary Odunen > Evil... will destroy EVERYTHING.... including itself in the end.
Kevlary Odunen > Choose your path....
Kevlary Odunen > Accept the consequences. There are always consequences.
Kevlary Odunen > And you.... can't claim shit.
Kevlary Odunen > You want ore... go mine.
Kevlary Odunen > Thieving motherfuckers.
The Agents politely gave the miner a few moments to make sure the speech was over. Now the conversation could resume.
Lament von Gankenheim > why mine?
Kevlary Odunen > Why not?
Kevlary Odunen > it's literally.... already in the sky
Kevlary Odunen > it's literally.... free.
Kevlary Odunen > It's literally... retarded, to steel what is free.
Lament von Gankenheim > cost you 30m isk didnt it?
Kevlary was still in a philosophical mood, but he stood no chance against the polished, refined logic of our trained Agents.
Kevlary Odunen > No, I built it.
Lament von Gankenheim > you build ore?
Bing Bangboom > You didn't build that.
Kevlary Odunen > ? Stop being such a retard.
Kevlary Odunen > Go play in null sec
Embarrassingly, Kevlary attempted to play the "If I mine the ore it's free" card. He was given no quarter.
Lament von Gankenheim > i love null
Kevlary Odunen > yea... me too
Bing Bangboom > I don't, its boring
Kevlary Odunen > but I wasn't when attacked by your corp.
Kevlary Odunen > That's why the bitch lost her ship.
The miner admitted that his mistake was to be caught mining in highsec; he usually spends his time in nullsec. Like every other highsec miner.
Kevlary Odunen > You just don't know how to play this game.... so .... you do this.
Lament von Gankenheim > highsec is worth saving
Kevlary Odunen > It needs to be saved from you.
Perspicacious Bukandara > Last time I checked, you're not the saviour of highsec.
Perspicacious Bukandara > Who are you to declare what's right and wrong?
Kevlary used to own a fail-fit mining barge, which he'd lost to gankers. Earlier, he admitted that he only had 20 million isk left in his wallet. He now proceeded to tell our Agents how to play the game correctly.
Kevlary Odunen > I'm nobody....
Lament von Gankenheim > James 315 is somebody
Kevlary Odunen > No he's not.
Lament von Gankenheim > of course he is
Kevlary Odunen > He's a worthless piece of shit too.
Had our Agents managed to drive any sense into the miner? They used the litmus test of invoking my name. The results came in: Kevlary was still a Goofus.
Lament von Gankenheim > i linked his name right there
Kalorned > It's right there in the bio
Kalorned > He's the Saviour of High Sec
Lament von Gankenheim > hes literally right there in the chat
Kevlary Odunen > No... you dipshit..
Yet our Agents didn't want to give up on Kevlary. It was the miner who gave up on himself. Disgusted by his failure to win an argument (or at least get reimbursement), Kevlary left the chat.
Blizzenisk > oh noes
Tisiphone Dira > Blizzenisk Hi there
Blizzenisk > the afk price \o/
Tisiphone Dira > Welcome to your deportation hearing. You have been deported from highsec space for coming in illegally, and using illegal methods. How do you plead?
Tisiphone Dira > Kill: Blizzenisk (Leopard) that'll happen when you 'play' afk
As soon as Kevlary left, another Code violator entered the chat and was greeted by his content provider.
Blizzenisk > well I guess I can live knowing that you lost more than me?
Tisiphone Dira > leopards are actually, what 90m?It's just that killmails don't show the value ofsome items, particuarly items ccp gives out, like genolution implants or leopards.
Tisiphone Dira > Blizzenisk so you lost 100m to my 2m then. I think you owe me a 'gf' for that
Blizzenisk > I guess I can give you a good gank?
Blizzenisk > this is now worth the gank
Tisiphone Dira > I'm glad you think so. I often say the knowledge we impart is worth more than any ship and pod we may have destroyed, are you familiar with the code? http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
Life goes on--because the highsec of today has a life. For that, you can thank the creators of emergent gameplay, who destroy only evil.

35 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. so when a daddy loves a mommy very much...

      Delete
    2. Babies are delivered by a stork.

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    3. yes but only to boy daddy and girl mommys who luv each other very much and if they get divorced it's the storks fault

      Delete
  2. CHODE. agents still obsessing over the ISK value of the ships they gank. I thought they didn't care about ISK, that Jamey provided for all of their needs?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Code wins again. Praise James 315. And why would anyone ever leave null to mine in highsec. Highsec ore is shit. Why mine veldspar when you can mine Bistot or Arkenor?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "It's Safer" - Everyone's Excuse Ever

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    2. Huh, it doesn't seem safer these days

      Delete
  4. 5 whole chapters of rage from this kevlary lunatic! I wonder, just how many hours did he vent his spleen?

    ReplyDelete
  5. "To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ." - Colossians 1:27-28 NIV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "To them James 315 has hosen to make known among the carebears the glorious riches of this mystery, which is the Code in you, the hope of glory. He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in the Code."

      That's more like it!

      Delete
  6. Antigankers don't care about CODE and it's activities any longer. Its official. CODE is now a second tier corp/alliance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yet here you are on our blogs comment section (anonymously lol)

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    2. once CODE is gone we can move on to gay marriage and trans in the wrong bathrooms. shit's gonna get changed yo!

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    3. Anon miners calm down

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    4. "Second tier" CODE still > all hisec carebears. I dont see you point anon miner 846.

      Or are you just confirming how hard ag fails?

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    5. Under that logic, every successful mining op is a failure for CODE.

      Delete
    6. yeah. code is failing hard!!

      Delete
    7. Looks like I have an imitator. You know they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

      Delete
    8. honestly, isn't a "successful" mining op a failure for everyone?

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    9. Antiganking does not care about CODE because antiganking cannot stop CODE. Thank you for finally seeing the truth. CODE ALWAYS WINS, ALWAYS

      Delete
    10. Keep dreaming Reicher, it'll help you get through this difficult time of the fall of code!

      Delete
  7. Bing Bangboom > You didn't build that.

    Zing!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My grandchildren will hear of this!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd leave out some of the more unsavoury parts for the young ones.

      Delete
    2. No!! You cannot sensor the CODE!!

      Delete
  9. It's "censor" you faggot!!


    -Galaxy dick

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down anon miner!

      Delete
    2. One does not simply make a miner calm down.

      Delete
  10. Finally, this chatlog is over.

    ReplyDelete

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