Russian Agents KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb and Winnie Po0h were on a routine patrol of highsec when suddenly...
A miner named TC Luke began barking at them.
Upon seeing Agents of the New Order, the miner had enough sense to run away and dock up. Nevertheless, our heroes had a feeling ol' TC Luke might be trouble.
Like so many other miners, TC Luke adamantly denied the charge of being a miner. He sounded sincere enough, casually dropping his denial between various insults. There was one problem, though:
Our Agents had access to a thing called a killboard. TC Luke had been killed while mining.
Did I say "one problem"? I meant two problems. The gank had been performed by none other than KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb and Winnie Po0h, the very same Agents in front of whom TC Luke now declared his non-miner status. Oops!
TC Luke was caught red-handed, but he claimed that he was only a part-time miner; he spends the rest of his days in a Romulan Warbird. In another video game, I guess. He only mines while in EVE, so he's not really a miner, you see.
Though he was confined to a station during our Agents' visit, TC Luke insisted that he was able to do whatever he wanted. By contrast, our Agents--who were actually able to move about the system at will--were "real life loosers".
For the next hour and a half, TC Luke could do nothing but sit in a station and watch helplessly as our Agents quietly went about their business, going blinky red in local every fifteen minutes. Finally, TC Luke gave up and logged off.
Later, Agent Agent GanKsta sent him an EVEmail cautioning him not to repeat his disgraceful performance in the future. TC Luke didn't hesitate to send a reply--in which the bigot expressed zero respect for the New Order's Halaiman roots.
TC Luke announced his philosophy of EVE. Rather than being a role-playing game in which players can explore a wide variety of different roles unavailable in real life, players' in-game actions are "mostly a mirror" of what they do in their real life. For some reason, TC Luke felt that his impotent rants in local and unlicensed mining activities were a stupendous reflection on his actual self.
...To say nothing of his EVEmails. If this was how TC Luke behaved in real life, did our Agents have any hope of molding him into a Gallant?
To be continued...