Monday, October 24, 2016

Anti-Gankers Contemplate EVE, Part 1

In a major intelligence coup for the New Order, Agent Aaaarrgg managed to slip an alt past the Anti-Ganking channel security personnel. Now to find out what those scheming carebears were up to...


As Aaaarrgg's spy joined the Anti-Ganking channel, a fight was already in progress. Not between rebels and Agents, of course; the rebels were busy quarreling with each other.


Rebel forces were attempting to gain access to a Citadel which they suspected of rendering aid to CODE. Upon failing to do so, the Anti-Gankers dispersed.


Having over-exerted themselves, the exhausted Anti-Gankers retired to their channel for some well-deserved rest and relaxation.


The channel returned to its default setting: Reports of a bunch of CODE. sightings, but no one actually doing anything about them.


Despite year after year of endless nerfs to ganking, the Anti-Gankers found themselves unable to prevent ganks. But they've become used to it.


An idealistic young newcomer, A'stral, wanted to be proactive. Lacking experience, she hadn't yet grown cynical about the possibility of stopping the New Order. She was getting there, though.


Conversations lazily drifted through the Anti-Ganking channel. They all centered around one thing: CODE.


I've written more words about my ideas an intentions for EVE than anyone else. Yet in so many ways I remain a mystery to the rebels. What am I really after?


The Anti-Ganking "community" owes its existence to us. Even so, they'd prefer that we--and they--didn't exist.


The New Order's Agents are constantly innovating. By contrast, the Anti-Gankers haven't changed much over the years. They still cling to the idea that shooting spaceships in a spaceship-shooting game is "harassment". If PvP is harassment, then the New Order engages in elite harassment.


Nor have the Anti-Gankers ever been grateful for all of the ganking nerfs. Shalishaska Laoch wouldn't be happy unless invincible CONCORD ships killed gankers before they ganked.


Tailsko abandoned the idea of defending against ganks long ago. She doesn't believe evading gankers and tanking one's ship constitute "preventative measures". Most miners think like this. They're like a pilot who jumps into a nullsec bubble gatecamp of 100 people and complains there's no counter.


A'stral tried to look on the bright side, but Tailsko was having none of it. Calculating the most efficient way to AFK mine was enough content for her, thank you very much.


The gloomy mood of the channel persisted. Failing continuously nonstop daily must be so depressing.


Tailsko suggested that the way to fight back against CODE. was to hope that CCP granted One More Nerf™ to highsec ganking. Was there anyone in the channel who could talk some sense into her?

To be continued...

26 comments:

  1. instead of contemplating just steal isk from loyal anon he practically gives it away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. going one step further Ben Li gives away ISK for real $ $ $ yo. Make sure you message him on prices/availability.

      Ben Li is the best secret RMTer at low low prices. Make sure you get your ISK before the great prices are gone!

      Delete
    2. 815 is one desperate highsec shitter.
      Have you taken your proof to CCP yet shitter?

      Oh yeah...

      Delete
    3. I'm pretty sure that ag schedule looks like this:

      Monday- fail daily! Whine and cry to CCP.

      Tuesday- fail daily! Whine and cry to CCP.

      Wednesday- fail daily! Whine and cry to CCP.

      You get the idea....

      Delete
    4. No proof exists because CODE is above the law.

      Delete
    5. Man, I'm going to have to make a new gank alt and see if I can get dedicated shitbear stalkers like Wolf, Ben, and Ming. Go ahead and petition him for RMT so you can get banned, loser.

      Delete
  2. Lol the funniest thing is, they really think these things.

    -Oink

    ReplyDelete
  3. Each time I see logs of AG chat or NPC Corp chat I try to suppress an involuntary shudder. Without success.

    It seems to be a kind of 'Let's be friends' thing, where folks spout the most inane drivel in an attempt to form some sort of bond. Yuk.

    James points this up neatly in today's blog post. In the AG channel, Truth is the first casualty; closely followed by reason and, lastly, Raspberry-Vanilla Cheesecake.

    What a mess.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anti-ganking channel is great entertainment when people are actually talking in it. Tears, bad advice, total ignorance of game mechanics...what's not to love?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patting each other on the back over whoring in on Concord/sentry gun KMs

      Delete
  5. love reading antiganking chat. its so autistic and full of non-stop pure failure.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope Aaargh remembered what we learned from Ledrian, and got the AG Schedules all mapped out...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Antiganking chat is depressing. Thank the Saviour for minerbumping chat which is always full of joy and celebration.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think A'stral is Aaaarrgg's alt :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. no its just a random antiganker shitter crying in the top secret anti-ganking channel

      Delete
  9. AG #1: Someone should do something to stop CODE.

    AG #2: You're someone.

    AG #1: I mean someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Check out this guys tears on facebook

    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154678307704394&id=17614129393

    ReplyDelete
  11. All from a 2003 player ....well folks here you have it ...a true victim of bot aspirancy ....another failed gamer who failed himself for so long and quit as a carebear. Life failure if you ever heard from one...if only he could have seen the light of the saviour

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh goodie! Featured again! At least you got my gender right this time. You are quite welcome, btw.

    -Tailsko of EvE online

    ReplyDelete
  13. Talisko ....are you a hipster ? ohh you are ag ...sorry for your disability

    ReplyDelete
  14. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Your setup of "slipping past security" in an open channel is lack luster. Also it was nice that james admitted that code partakes in "pvp harassment" XDXDXDXD. Your 2 step program must be working.

    ReplyDelete

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