Tuesday, October 11, 2016

It's Not TV. It's EVE.

Everyone has a reason to play EVE Online. For many, it's to save highsec by enforcing the Code.


Others have a less good reason.


Evergreener was caught mining in a 0.9 security system without a permit. That, combined with the fact that Evergreener belonged to an NPC corp, might lead one to assume that he was a newbie. In fact, he began playing EVE over seven and a half years ago. In all that time, mining in highsec with a fail-fit Covetor was the best idea he'd come up with. Midslot? Lowslots? Who needs 'em?


No one had ever bothered to teach Evergreener how to do more in EVE. The miner was lucky to make the acquaintance of Agents Ilithyia Borgia and Mal Warre.


As was already apparent in the conversation unfolding in local, Ilithyia and Mal were simpatico. They were of one mind, completely attuned to the Code and therefore to each other. In the future, all highsec will be like this. Random strangers in Jita will finish each other's sentences. As in:

"Praise..."
"...James 315!"

It'll make for a great atmosphere for new players.


Ilithyia believed (correctly) that EVE is a spaceship combat game. Evergreener felt the right way to play EVE was to AFK mine in highsec in a barely-fit ship, get ganked, and then go ballistic in local. I don't think that's the kind of sandbox CCP intended. More to the point, it's not what I intended.


A troubling question for the rebels and skeptics out there: Assuming (contrary to all evidence) that ganking makes people quit EVE, if we truly care about CCP's subscription revenues, should the New Order focus its attacks on people with free accounts?


Evergreener was discouraged to learn that ganking still exists in EVE. I suppose he assumed CCP would've nerfed it out of the game by now.


Many highsec miners are ashamed to be highsec miners. Evergreener came up with a new cover story: He was really a lowsec miner. More damning, however, was his admission that he wants CCP to make lowsec safer!


The trouble with being a self-hating carebear is that whenever you lose your ship, you simultaneously get exposed as a highsec miner. It's a double-whammy.


Our Agents didn't believe Evergreener's lies for a moment. I do have to give Evergreener some credit, though: "It was a side corp" sounds like a great all-purpose excuse.


The miner finally revealed his true intentions--he wanted a game that allowed him to watch TV and relax. That's not my vision for EVE, though. All you carebears reading this, heed my advice: If you want to watch TV and relax, don't play EVE. Watch TV and relax.

38 comments:

  1. I wish I could understand the mindset of the carebear that spends additional money a month to simply... watch TV. Spend another $15/mo in addition to your cable bill so you can "play" EvE and watch TV.

    Carebears need help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What they need is to be 'sploded.
      Thank all that good and holy, Agents will be there to make it happen.

      Delete
    2. It doesn't make much sense. And if it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true. More likely he signed up for Eve with great intentions and then defaulted to mining because of lack of imagination.

      Delete
    3. Sounds like a Chewbacca Defense to me...

      Delete
  2. "Praise..."

    "... James 315!"


    Lmao, good post!



    -Oink

    ReplyDelete
  3. Screw these carebears and any highsec criminal bots that support or try to protect them.


    That dumbass has never left hisec, on any alt, at any time.

    What we have here is a failure to communicate.
    CCP failed to communicate to these carebears that EVE is PVP.


    Good thing the Agents were here to educate him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Inb4 pajedas starts whining like a little bitch in the comments xdxdxd

    P.s antiganking failed AGAIN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=6667928#post6667928

      awww pajedas getting pwned by ISD's again XD XD try stay calm next time

      Delete
    2. Take your Ritalin loyalanon. Ritalin is easy.

      Delete
    3. @wolf 7:53 / That was bait son, and you took it hook, line and sinker. You had posted that quote as Chapo Muerte. You really need to work on your reading comprehension. That means, how well you actually understand what you read. Ritalin would probably be a good idea in your case. Cheers!

      Delete
    4. Pajedas....this guy really is butthurt hey...typing salt farm can't wait to gank you.Do you have 1 or 2 sugars with your pleb tea pajedas?

      Delete
    5. @Karma 6:48 ★ It's so sweet of you to take up for poor little wolfy. I'm in Uedama most of the time so come on down and I'll teabag ya :-)

      Delete
    6. you forgot to say you are in uedama watching freighters blow up on your face because you cant stop the ganks XD XD

      why do you drop corp everytime you get wardecced? XD XD

      Delete
    7. Well hello loyal! Even someone with your limited intellect can understand the challenges of stopping 30 ships from ganking a freighter. Now conversely, it's so easy to gank a freighter. You know it as well as I do. I'm sorry you were picked on as a kid but there are better ways to take out your frustration. War Dec? Man, that's a tough one. One-man corp versus 97-man alliance. I really can't think of a good answer.

      Delete
  5. Another crybaby anti ganker filling the boots of the failures before him kip whinger ....i do like his corp ticker PHAG LOL. Still another failure in the wind of time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. karma when are you coming back

      Delete
    2. This saturday if all goes to plan ...will be in touch when im back on ....ps my tear bucket is dry ...look foward to filling it.

      Delete
    3. @Wolf (Loyal) Please post more videos to YouTube. Every time I need to be reminded of how lame you are I listen to your little voice crack in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wtKrGkS5lA

      Delete
    4. And everytime I need tears you never fail to deliver XD

      Delete
    5. You literally have NOTHING new to contribute. Way to go cuz.

      Delete
    6. you literally don't stop ganks and wait around for me to login XD stay mad nerd XD btw you have to have troops to be a general (something you don't have XD )

      Delete
    7. And you have to have 4 legs to be a wolf ya little whelp. I can't get mad at skinny little punks. BTW, I thought you were banned? You just keep slipping. HA! As Young Jeezy would say, "My Nigga, My Nigga".

      Delete
    8. Pajedas did you name your character from a retarded povo mexican dish ? keep crying i love reading your epic failures lol

      Delete
  6. Kip Winger getting shit on daily - https://zkillboard.com/kill/56556119/

    inb4 forum post demanding nerfs because hes shit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Settle down and take your Ritalin loyalanon. Ritalin is easy.

      P.S. EvE isn't real LIFE. Simmer down bud.

      Delete
    2. For someone that seems to get awfully butt hurt over a game, it's funny seeing you to tell other people to calm down

      Delete
    3. Exactly. Calm down miner is said daily by these try hards. Butt hurt code?

      Delete
  7. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
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    A life changing disaster can happen at any time. Having a disaster survival kit you can access at a moment's notice can mean the difference between life and death for you and your family.While you can buy any number of different survival kits, it is just as easier - and usually less expensive - to assemble your own survival kit.

    http://theezbatteryreconditioningreview.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only survival kit a miner needs is a permit

      Delete
  9. Hi,

    there are 2 known bot-miner groups in Kino and Yoma, why do you guys do nothing there?
    Maybe because there not so easy kills? Afraid?

    yeah, protected skiffs are not so easy to kill...


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All about the ISK? Thought CODE is fighting for the law....

      Delete
    2. Ha, the Code sold mining permits to the bot- gang....
      to that people they told us to be defended..

      You are liars!!!

      you broke your own law, you make james 315 a liar too!!!

      Delete
  10. How come you never gank me,ffs I sit afk mining for hours and no one fucks me up.Come on guy,do a better job.

    ReplyDelete

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