Monday, October 10, 2016

Fack Checked

Sometimes it feels like carebears use a random number generator when fitting their ships.


AnTlS put zero effort into designing his hauler fit. He grabbed some random modules and was off to the races. AnTlS assumed he could travel AFK through highsec just as effortlessly. Agent Semtex Attor and his gank Vexor proved the carebear wrong.


Agent Semtex immediately sent AnTlS a polite, informative form EVEmail.


There was absolutely nothing objectionable whatsoever about Semtex's form EVEmail, but the Anti-Ganking crowd would probably say Semtex forced AnTlS into wishing cancer and death upon him.


Regardless, it was time for the moment of truth. To be sure, the initial response from AnTlS had been disgusting and uncalled for. We've come to expect that from carebears, sadly. But now the carebear had been invited to calm down. Very often, it's a carebear's second EVEmail that tells you who they really are.


AnTlS was a Goofus.


The carebear became furious. He accused Agent Semtex of stealing three hours of his life. Yet we all know that AFK gameplay isn't gameplay at all. AnTlS almost certainly didn't spend those three hours at his keyboard, or else he wouldn't have been ganked on autopilot.


A great example of the difference between Agents and bot-aspirants: Semtex cared about the health and well-being of the person he'd ganked. AnTlS only cared about money. Semtex brushed off AnTlS' attempt to blackmail him (and they accuse us of extortion?). So the carebear fired off another reply:


It may take a lawyer years of studying to earn a law degree, but becoming a space lawyer takes no time at all. AnTlS had just entered the profession and was already 100% certain that shooting haulers in highsec is against the EULA.


People who accuse our Agents of griefing, taunting, and bullying don't know the meaning of those words. In reality, New Order Agents are breathtakingly polite and helpful--despite facing outrageous insults. Semtex gave AnTlS a link to CCP Phantom's post about the Golden Rules of EVE. Phantom's post included the following:
Be able to afford a loss

* Never fly something (or with something in the cargo) you can't afford to lose. Yes, not even in highsec. Meaning that you should not fly a ship you cannot afford to replace and refit.

Consent to PvP

* You consent to PvP when you click "undock".
* You are not safe in 1.0 security space. CONCORD is there to punish, not to protect. Get used to the idea.
* In most cases, the only way to be 100% safe from aggression inside the game is to be docked in a station. Being cloaked in a secret safespot could work too.
Our Agent hoped that once AnTlS read CCP's official position on these matters, the carebear would abandon his plan to file a frivolous petition.


Sadly, AnTlS proceeded with his ill-advised blackmail scheme.


Incredibly, Semtex was generous enough to help AnTlS figure out how to file a petition. The gesture didn't impress AnTlS, who intended to repay our Agent's kindness with an attempt to get him banned from EVE. At times like these, you wonder why carebears never stop and question whether they're the bad guys.


Semtex knew that only a direct communication from CCP itself would be enough to persuade AnTlS that people are allowed to shoot spaceships in EVE. If and when the carebear ever got a response to his petition, Semtex would be ready to receive an apology--and 10 million isk.

29 comments:

  1. "shooting transport ship in space that is ment for NO SHOOTING????"

    what kinda downs you gotta have to fit a hauler with a lazor and than make a statement like that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. c0d3 can only shoot non-combat ships. It's what they do. Listen to their number 1 player's voice [ https://youtu.be/5wtKrGkS5lA ]. And they talk about how retarded AG is for trying to help :-)

      Delete
    2. Thanks for digging up the loyalanon history. Haha it's so rough! To think that he progressed from humble awoxing to FC'ing 50-man gank fleets!

      Delete
  2. why didn't the highsec militia respond? they could have added 10mil to their 196bil kill count tally for the past 2 years XD XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are a special bunch of idiots, patting each other on the back for failing daily.

      The best part is when they cannot seperate game from RL.

      antiganking? Hahahahahahahahah! More like antiIQ.

      At least their tears give us entertainment. Otherwise ag is next to useless.

      Delete
  3. PV are you still alive?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PV is no longer with us. R.I.P. PV. The theft from CODE drove him/her to jump off a bridge.

      Delete
    2. ingame right? I doubt pv would pull a kalynn shardani

      Delete
    3. Hahahahahahah

      Delete
    4. Holy shit ag, you walked right into that one.

      Bunch of dumb shits support RL child murderers.

      The only thing kaylnn ever did right was the last thing he ever did.

      Delete
    5. Code blames AG for EVERYTHING. While clearly they are Anonymously posting garbage and responding to themselves. Oh how very clever.

      Delete
    6. Is that why your posting anonymously ?

      Delete
    7. How's the ban going? Guess you had just enough rope...

      Delete
    8. Does that mean anon446 is CODE? But the tears seem genuine.

      That's got to be that hihsec shitterbot Kip Wanker.

      Delete
  4. I love how he spelled "imbecile" incorrectly. Oh, the irony!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnTlS is the perfect stereotype. He is poorly-spoken and lacking in social graces, with an overly-developed sense of entitlement and an exaggerated sense of self-worth.

    Much like a beetle when the rock it lives under is lifted, his mental state is disordered; he is frantic and in a state of panic.

    AnTlS is so ignorant that he is incapable of conceiving of the scope of his own ignorance. Some day, after his frivolous petition is denied, we can only hope that he will embrace the wisdom of the Code and become worthy of life in James 315 territory.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I can not wait for the miner killing olympics starting this EURO winter. CODE for gold

    ReplyDelete
  7. Is saying "do X or I report you" against the Eve TOS ?

    Because it should be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most miners break a lot of the TOS especially 1-5 after they foolishly get killed. But we know they are embarrassed and angry so we never report them

      Delete
    2. I report them when they cross the line into wishing real life illness and death upon me. That's not cool no matter how angry a person is.

      "He blew up my ship and *I* was the one who got in trouble for yelling at him???" They usually see it that way but there is no place for that kind of behavior in EVE.

      Delete
  8. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Remember your Ritalin CODE. Ritalin is easy!

    ReplyDelete
  10. We all know that Chapo Muerte is loyalanon, Wolf Soprano, 412 Yaken (and many others) but who cares? I think it’s grand entertainment when someone facing the tribulation of puberty believes in his heart and soul that he’s more qualified to run your abhorrent alliance than your own inglorious Messiah. Shall we start a pool on how long before he gets that account banned as well. Put me down for 25b!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's some weapons grade downzy tears. You are really trying hard with the fake cheer.
      And the attempted insult about puberty, well it's simply too juvenile not to mention.

      Irony much, anon?

      But thanks for playing! You are now an official member in good standing with the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia.

      You were made for this group.

      I, Kip Winger, Head Highsec Online Moderator and Operator, will personally be awarding you he title of #2 Highsec Online Moderator and Operator for the militia.

      You will forever be known as General Pajadas, PHag's #2 H.O.M.O.

      Welcome PHag, you were born for this role.

      Delete
    2. Every ganker in gameOctober 11, 2016 at 5:35 PM

      Confirming i am also a loyal alt.

      And that Pajedas is Kip Wingers alt, and that he is giving himself the title of #2 homo or whatever, but thats also how he runs his alts on that blog that no one ever reads.

      Delete
    3. I'd fuck Loyal's avatar if it came to life and didn't start talking about Jimmy. Does that make me gay?

      Delete
    4. @553
      No, you were already gay

      Delete
    5. @AnonymousOctober 11, 2016 at 6:16 PM "Then there is the Caspar Milquetoast who is a tough guy in online forums but could never say anything to anyone's face. There must be thousands of these characters. A lot of these folks make excellent points in the forums but also go out on limbs with radical notions without fear of reprisal. A number of people in online forums seem borderline crazy and are better handled anonymously just in case they crack."

      Delete
    6. I love it when antigankers fail so hard in game that out of game they are full of rage over their failures ingame.

      Please show us on the doll where i touched you pajedas XDXDXD umadbro?

      Delete

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