Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Bloody Toilet, Guilty Miner, Part 1

The Agents of the New Order constitute highsec's sole civil, criminal, and military authorities. They're also highsec's only leaders in the fields of philosophy, ethics, law, art, etc. In short, they wear a lot of hats. And the residents of highsec are utterly dependent upon them.

Though our Agents are known for enforcing the Code through elite PvP, they increasingly spend their time simply administering highsec. As the EVE players in our jurisdiction buy permits and become more and more compliant, this trend is bound to continue.
Lament von Gankenheim > \o
Antaries Lou > that's how long it took me to take a shit......
Antaries Lou > ra=eal on .... in the bathroom......
Agent Lament von Gankenheim got a convo request from a permit-owning miner named Antaries Lou. It was our Agent's job to investigate her complaint of an improper gank.
Lament von Gankenheim > i assume you lost another ship lou?
Antaries Lou > worngfully I might add......
Lament von Gankenheim > hard to lose a ship docked.
Antaries Lou > wht the hell are you on?
The conversation had barely begun before Lament had concerns about this miner.
Antaries Lou > you lot, at the CODE said i buy a permit, i can mine and you leave me the hell alone.....
Lament von Gankenheim > link the kill for me please
Lament von Gankenheim > i cant wait to see this fully tanked and Code-compliant ship that was destroyed while docked.
Antaries Lou > Kill: Antaries Lou (Mackinaw)
Lament von Gankenheim > eek
Lament's suspicions were quickly confirmed.

Lament was familiar with the gankers in question, Agents KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb and Winnie Po0h, and he knew them to be good men. So he wasn't surprised by the results of his investigation: Antaries Lou's Mackinaw was unmistakably fail-fit.
Lament von Gankenheim > were you planning on mining non stop for the rest of the year??
Antaries Lou > what the hell are you on about? docked?
Lament von Gankenheim > obviously if you were taking a shit
Lament von Gankenheim > you docked up first
Lament von Gankenheim > as is written in The Code
Lament von Gankenheim > which you agreed to when accepting your permit
"I was going to the bathroom" is perhaps the most common excuse given for AFK mining (if you include variants like "I was taking a bloody shit," etc.). Hence the New Order Bathroom Protocol.
Antaries Lou > i went to take a blody shit ..... in the blody bathroom for 4-5 mins......
Lament von Gankenheim > so how did he shoot you docked?
Antaries Lou > well when the hell did you lot briefed me?
Antaries Lou > in the local channel?
Lament von Gankenheim > you cant be serious...
Agent Lament was astonished by the miner's attitude. Antaries--who basically confessed to violating the Code--was behaving as if she had been wronged.
Lament von Gankenheim > you think you get to just break the law?
Antaries Lou > No AFK mining allowed. All miners are expected to remain at their keyboards at all times, and are required to prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protector or one of his Agents.
Antaries Lou > copy paste from your dam code
Lament von Gankenheim > hard to be at the the bathroom
Lament von Gankenheim > dont you agree?
The logic was simple: Antaries' ship was destroyed in an asteroid belt, and she admitted she'd been engaged in defecation at the time of the gank. Ergo, she was punished for AFK mining. So what was the problem?
Antaries Lou > prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protector
Antaries Lou > brief me and i qould have replied......
Antaries Lou > read your own code
Lament von Gankenheim > i know The Code by heart
Lament von Gankenheim > its your responsibility to follow it
Antaries Lou > I blody did.......7
The miner maintained her innocence.
Lament von Gankenheim > you were afk
Antaries Lou > you lot need to get you shit toghether and live up to your own CODE
Lament von Gankenheim > your ship was not properly tanked
Antaries Lou > brief in LOCAL and reply
Incredibly, Antaries remained on the offensive. Despite being caught red-handed (so to speak), she accused our Agents of breaking the Code!
Lament von Gankenheim > you dont get to dictate anything miner
Lament von Gankenheim > learn your place
Antaries Lou > what do you know........ not a miner...... but it's good you lot think that........ that's all you know anyway
Lament von Gankenheim > not a miner??
Things only got worse. Could it be that this permit-carrying miner was actually a Goofus?

To be continued...


  1. I'm very, very disappointed in you, Antaries.

    -Galaxy Pig

  2. Now this could get interesting.....

    *throws bag of popcorn into microwave*

    1. hope you´re docked, don´t afk for the microwave...

    2. Never not dock up before popcorn!

      Whats wrong with these highsec idiots?
      After what, 12 years and trillions of isk in dead afk hisec shitters, and these idiots are still afk mining.

      EVE is definitely not for everyone, But apparently Alpha clone suicide gank alts are!

      Thank you CCP for Alpha clone gank alts! Now everyone in my null family can visit hisec and join me in a good old fashioned shitterbot killing, with no regrets as to sec status or KR's.

      You fuking carebears thought CCP gave a shit about your highsec crying, now you will see exactly what the rest of EVE thinks of you.

      Go back to wow, PHags! Nobody wants you here.

  3. Antiganking failing the playerbase one carebear at a time

    1. It's funny that you think I'm accountable for your so-called, "carebears".

    2. It's funny pj thinks anyone cares. He really is a PHag H.O.M.O..

      Good job pejedus. You H.O.M.O.

  4. "b..... S..." "red-handed"

    Eeeewwwww! As I think you Americans have it.....

  5. this is no advertisement, this is serious.
    i think they even have a miner holding one in the graphics.

    survives the hardest shit...even the bloody ones ;)

    (maybe the code will gift one with every sold permit?)

  6. I thought Lament von Gankenheim was too busy correcting everyone's grammar to undock. Like code v CODE. Which I think c0d3 is catching on.

  7. Niten Dorku!

    In case you missed it, you are now a member in good standing with the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia.

    You and your alt, fylth, will also be receiving advanced training as Highsec Online Moderators and Operators.

    Don't forget to contact me, Kip Winger, in game for your free tube of buttcream and ice packs.

    We know you and Fylth will make great H.O.M.O.'s for PHag!

    You were born for this job.

    PHags for lyfe!

  8. That miner has got to be Niten Doraku's alt. That would explain why so emo.



      Confirmed CODE alts.

    2. "caught red-handed (so to speak)"

      I loled.

      When i saw the title of the post i almost didnt read it, i have seen some wild carebear lies, and my thinking was "nope, not gonna read about some nasty carebear using bloody excrement as an excuse"

      Who am i kidding, i would still have read it, maybe just not laughed so loud.

    3. oh man and fylth is trash XD one of the most failest carebears right after pajedas XD.

    4. So glad you care wolfy ♥ How's your rap career going? BAN much?

    5. Hey pj, why you so mad over Wolf's playstyle? Is it because in a game as vast as EVE, with almost endless options, you choose to follow others around like a snot nosed tattletale, crying to teacher?

      You know in game (and here) everyone thinks you are a failure?

      Feel free to continue acting like PHag's #1 H.O.M.O., even though you will always be #2.

  9. Fylth is pretty incapable from what I've seen of him.

    This miner is unbelievable. He flies and untanked ship, AFK and has the gall to complain? Those are two separate violations! He must not have read the Code because he thinks a permit is a free pass to do whatever he wants, when it's actually a pass to do whatever James 315 wants.

    1. Stupid cunt. James can suck my big black dick.

    2. General pajamas is one butthurt PHag.
      Remember pj, you are now a Hisec Online Moderator and Operator, please continue to act like one.

      You Fylthy PHag.

  10. But where oh where is Ming?

  11. Firstly i would like to thank Kip Winger, PHag's #1 H.O.M.O., for spending some long, hard nights training me into a powerful Highsec Online Moderator and Operator. Without him, I would not be such a well trained H.O.M.O.

    Also, i would like to thank CODE and all Agents for giving someone like me a goal in game. Without gankers i would have no reason to exist.

    And finally i would like to thank the rest of ag, you guys should join the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia soon, you will all fit right in, even if Kipper has to stretch a bit. He can accomodate you.

    As PHag's #2 H.O.M.O. i would like announce my support of Kip Winger, PHag's #1 H.O.M.O., for highsec CSM. Together all us PHags can make highsec safe for future H.O.M.O.'s.

    PHags 4 lyfe!

    Private Pajedas, PHag's #2 H.O.M.O.

    1. Confirmed, i stuffed pj with H.O.M.O. knowledge all. Night. Long.

      And he took it all like a true PHag!

  12. Just a reminder boys and girls, Wolf's Dad said I actually have to start charging for "services" from now on. Prices are at 1 or 2 ISK. Please convo Wolfie for additional details. Oh wait... XDXDXD

  13. "been engaged in defecation"

    I find your way of wording hillarious good sir.

    Every time at work, I read this blog and it never fails to deliver.
    Like an endless source of laughter. :)


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