Thursday, October 13, 2016

Bloody Toilet, Guilty Miner, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec miner Antaries Lou owned a permit, but she threw it away by AFK mining. Her excuse: "I was taking a bloody shit." Predictably, Antaries' Mackinaw was destroyed by gankers from CODE. while she was in the bathroom. Antaries took the matter to Agent Lament von Gankenheim, accusing our Agents of breaking their own Code.
Antaries Lou > what do you know........ not a miner...... but it's good you lot think that........ that's all you know anyway
Lament von Gankenheim > not a miner??
Lament von Gankenheim > you just lost a mining ship
Antaries Lou > just a ship........ of many more........
Lament von Gankenheim > a mining ship.
Lament von Gankenheim > you lost a mining ship, miner
Our Agent tried to reason with the miner. Without any warning, she issued a startling denial: She claimed she wasn't a miner!
Antaries Lou > and no..... not a miner,.....
Antaries Lou > i lost a miner's ship.....
Antaries Lou > big deal.....
Lament von Gankenheim > mining
Lament von Gankenheim > you were mining
Lament von Gankenheim > youre a miner
Lament was aghast. Highsec miners tend to disconnect themselves from reality, but this was too much. After all, Antaries was a miner who owned a mining permit.
Antaries Lou > part time exercice....... to make my own ammo
Antaries Lou > but wht do you know.......
Lament von Gankenheim > i know you are a miner
Lament von Gankenheim > who lost a mining ship
The miner claimed that her mining activities didn't make her a miner because she was only mining to make her own ammunition. Of course, non-miners buy their ammunition like proper EVE players. Lament also suspected that Antaries' "ammunition" consisted of mining laser crystals.
Lament von Gankenheim > if you would like to call it pvp
Lament von Gankenheim > that is also acceptable
Antaries Lou > wrong... at least 50% of that statement..... :)
Lament von Gankenheim > so you werent mining
Lament von Gankenheim > or you didnt lose a mining ship
Antaries Lou > the part about miner....
The process of transforming oneself from a Goofus into a Gallant resembles a twelve-step plan. To begin with, one must admit that he is a highsec miner.
Lament von Gankenheim > so you were mining, but youre not a miner?
Antaries Lou > not a miner...... but that's all you can comprehence so... i'll live it to that
Antaries Lou > making my own ammo doesn't make me a miner.......
Lament von Gankenheim > its impossible to believe your lies miner
Our Agent took pity upon the carebear. How could he get her to embrace the Code if she lived in total defiance of reality?
Antaries Lou > well some of us have lifes with real jobs.....
Antaries Lou > that tend's to get you a bit tired.....
Antaries Lou > but again ....... what would you know....#
Lament von Gankenheim > i would know to follow The Code
Antaries was exhausted, no doubt from the mental gymnastics required to extricate herself from miner status. Lament saw an opening: Antaries was deeply confused, but maybe focusing on the Code for a few moments would restore her?
Antaries Lou > if that's all you do ...... good for you
Antaries Lou > that's something I wouldn't know...... becase none of you lot had the courtesy to brief me in local
Lament von Gankenheim > you were briefed 7.31.2016
Lament von Gankenheim > and now youre dead because you broke the law
Lament von Gankenheim > have you no shame?
Next, Antaries denied knowing the Code--despite having quoted from the Code while trying to prove that our Agents violated it. Lament pointed out that Antaries had, according to her own bio, purchased a mining permit on July 31, 2016.
Antaries Lou > that date...... if that's a real date.... if from July 2016.....
Lament von Gankenheim > its in YOUR bio...miner
Lament von Gankenheim > which is now invalid.
Antaries Lou > i have bought it on that date.....
Lament von Gankenheim > when did you think you were supposed to start following it?
For some reason, Antaries believed that her obligation to obey the Code didn't begin until some later date. Her mining permit was like a credit card that needed to be activated by an Agent in local.
Antaries Lou > your CODE sais it......
Antaries Lou > brief in local and reply....
Lament von Gankenheim > wrong.
Antaries Lou > again .... good for you, hiding behind so called mistakes, when you actually messed up
Antaries Lou > they do say that best defence is attack......
Cornered, the miner returned to her space-lawyerly stance. Once again, she claimed to know the Code better than our Agents.
Antaries Lou > btw .... AFK .... taking a pisssss
Lament von Gankenheim > be sure to dock up
Antaries Lou > you can't call it pvp........
Antaries Lou > not between such different ships......
Lament von Gankenheim > player versus player
Lament von Gankenheim > so are you saying youre not a player, even tho you are playing, the same way you are not a miner, even tho you were mining?
Curiously, Antaries excused herself to use the bathroom again; it had only been half an hour since she returned from her previous visit. Agent Lament now understood the dark nature of Antaries Lou. Even her bladder was an instrument of deceit.
Antaries Lou > i do enjoy playing a game....... in this moment in time just happens to be EVE
Antaries Lou > i am a player in Eve...... though PvP, to my understanding of the concept...... is when 2 players, mutually agree to fight against eacj=h other
Antaries Lou > emphasise on mutually agree
Lament von Gankenheim > you consent to pvp when you click undock.
Antaries' never-ending war against reality made her a poor candidate for citizenship in the New Order. She refused to accept the most basic tenants of EVE philosophy.
Antaries Lou > hate to repeat myself.... but it seems i have to ....... if you sait, doesn't make it true........
Lament von Gankenheim > Kill: Antaries Lou (Mackinaw)
Lament von Gankenheim > miner.
Lament von Gankenheim > Modulated Strip Miner II
Lament von Gankenheim > miner.
Lament von Gankenheim > Scordite x 206,010
Lament von Gankenheim > miner.
Lament von Gankenheim > unless you have a gun that shoots raw ore
Antaries Lou > nope.... just good at my choises..... and yes..... good for making ammo for my other ships
In the end, Antaries remained in a state of total denial. It didn't bode well for her future. But Agent Lament knew that the battle for Antaries' heart and mind wasn't over. As long as she continues to live in highsec, there's a chance that one of our Agents will one day be able to rescue her.

40 comments:

  1. When a miner I just ganked tells me that they aren't a miner but are in fact, a scary pvper, I always tell them they made a really poor decision on what ship to pvp in.

    Then I tell them "GF".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like 'get fuked", right?

      That's right, all you hisec shitterbots can Get Fuked!

      XD

      Delete
    2. Good one. I'm going to use that.

      Delete
    3. 1/2 off boys and girls. Kip Winger Phag should come visit me again. Im off the pill and maybe can make Wolf a brother or sister.

      Delete
    4. hahahaha someone is that salty they went through the time and effort to make an account under Wolf's Mom.

      Brilliant! XD XD

      p.s antiganking is failing non-stop daily

      Delete
    5. Its called Name/URL Son... No account needed. You never were the brightest child. BTW... Im preggo!!! and it's Kip's! Your Dad is so happy! XDXDXD

      Delete
    6. Yup thats one pissy carebear posting as wolfsmum.
      And we all know its pajedus

      Delete
    7. Nah, thats Niten being a PHag posting as mumanon. He is for sure the biggest H.O.M.O. in all of PHagdome.

      And his alt Fylth. What a pair of PHags. Top notch H.O.M.O.'s!

      Delete
    8. hahaha pajedas is SUPER salty XD XD but I must admit I do love the attention XD

      p.s - why am I not banned yet

      Delete
    9. Loyal anon aka chapo muerte aka A soprano etc etc loves attention like he loves Zopiclones fat cock in his backdoor.

      Delete
  2. "Unless you have a gun that shoots raw ore"

    I loled, maybe too much :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I snorted my morning coffee over my breakfast when I read that :-D

      Delete
  3. "As long as she continues to live in highsec, there's a chance that one of our Agents will one day be able to rescue her."


    Oh i'ma "rescue" the hell outa her

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just another stoopid miner bringing a mining pick to gun fight.

    Only an idiot undocks a non-combat capable fit ship in a spacesbip pvp game.

    Those same idiots will soon show up here and cry about how "EVE is not JUST PVP", all the while ignoring the facts.

    The only safe place for a miner to play is in wow. It's that way carebears. Be gone,
    EVE dont need you or your highsec ore.
    Wanna prove me wrong? Take all your highsec carebear friends and stop mining in highsec. That'll teach me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would have gone with Private Pedojus for PHag's #2 H.O.M.O.

      Delete
    2. Nah, 'pE-jE-dus' sounds more PHagy. Fits him better.

      Delete
  5. Its called Name/URL Son... No account needed. You never were the brightest child. BTW... Im preggo!!! and it's Kip's! Your Dad is so happy! XDXDXD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lulzy fail right there.
      Pejedis is pissed

      Delete
    2. Hey mumanon, who you talking to?

      You Joined PHag yet? Yea? I bet you already completed the H.O.M.O. training.
      Top of your class and all.

      Delete
    3. Hahahaha i wonder if mumanon has the mental ability to grasp the humor of him posting that comment in the wrong place first.

      Thats some faily fail. I mean fail concentrate, no wonder ag fails daily. With PHags like that how could they possibly not?

      Delete
  6. Man these tears just flow ....keep crying.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think CONCORD should be investigating why all these non-miners keep getting killed in shit fit mining barges.

    Like maybe they are getting abducted by Jovians, probed of course, brainwashed, and then planted into mining barges just before they wake up.

    The truth is out there!

    And if there is probing involved, it would explain the perpetual bad mood most highsec carebears are in.

    Except kip and pj, i bet they go out looking for Jovians in hopes of getting probed,
    you know, PHags and all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Confirming, PHags live for a good Jovian probing.

      Delete
  8. So kip, pj and Diten, if you 3 PHags are over here crying, who's tending that blog no one ever reads?

    Oh right

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahaha. well you are wrong anon 10.45

      Thomas sits their refreshing the page so it looks like its getting views XD

      Delete
    2. OMG did we forget to induct Thomas en Chastity into the Pandemic Horde anti ganking hall of fame!?!??!? ?

      ? even

      How could we have over looked one of the founding members of the PHag movement, a true H.O.M.O.!

      This man must be recognized! We need a completely new acronym for this level of PHagdom.

      Any suggestions?

      (The H.O.M.O. one was fuking brilliant btw)

      Delete
  9. Nullsec mining FTW.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am glad I joined the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia, and i am hard at work traning in the Highsec Online Moderator and Operator program.

    It has been long, and hard, but all these PHags are helping drive home the lessons. I will be a great H.O.M.O. soon!

    I am even changing my name to show my dedication to the PHag lyfestyle!

    I will now be know as:

    Niten PHagaku, H.O.M.O. in traning (that's not a typo, PHags)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Man, carebears are not the brightest of people.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Niten, are you sure your in horde? Or are you just buthurt? BTW, it's pronounced REKTD or just HORDE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am in the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia, you null bears may not be familiar with our high sec work, but by the way you post i see great potential in you Reicher.

      You should join us here in the Pandemic Horde anti ganking militia, you belong here.

      I know you will want to see one of the Highsec Online Moderator and Operators to join our next class. Any H.O.M.O. in PHag will be happy to help you with your training. We know someone from the null Horde can take long, hard training sessions, Always!

      Delete
    2. Reicher, welcome to PHag, you are gonna make one hell of a H.O.M.O.

      I have heard you post like a tru PHag! Please continue to fail daily, like the H.O.M.O. you are.

      And don't forget to se me or kipper for your free tube of buttcream. Looks like you need it.

      Scroll back a few days and get caught up why don't ya?

      Delete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I enjoy the sight of exploding miners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When i zoom in during a gank and get a good closeup of the grid just as the barge pops, against the backdrop of an ore belt, got the Octane chan going in the background...

      Now that's how you relax while playing EVE, these carebears don't have a clue.



      Delete
  15. Remember people, in true Horde fashion we are now under open enrollment, all you highsec PHag wannabees just step right up and register today!

    We'll take anyone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Code takes anyone too. Anyone.

      Delete
  16. This has to be said:

    CODE kills miners, antiganking kills minors.

    ReplyDelete

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