Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Bob Wins, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bob the Fourth saw potential in the Solitude region. The miners there were rough and unformed--malformed, really--but he could mold them into something that honoured the Code. And if not, he could kill them and take their blingy drones.


There's a perception among some that the New Order only cares about ganking big, juicy targets. And it's true that our Code enforcers appreciate big, juicy killmails. However, they kill every bot-aspirant in highsec, even Venture pilots. Big or small, the Code comes to them all.


Agent Bob ganked Reaver Ventris, who turned out to be what the rebels would call a "newbro". Unlike other "newbros", he wasn't some six-year veteran of the highsec asteroid belts.
Bob the Fourth > Reaver Ventris are you ready to buy your permit yet?
Reaver Ventris > lol
Vera Vala > I lost mine, could I get another one?
Bob the Fourth > I can offer you both a one time special deal, just send me 20 Million ISK and I'll let you each have one permit.
Bob noticed that Reaver hadn't responded well to his post-gank killmail. Luckily, he happened to see Reaver again in the same system.
Reaver Ventris > meh, i gave him 1 isk for making my day lol
Bob the Fourth > all donations to the Code enforcement fund are gratefully accepted
Reaver Ventris > lmao this guy ^^^
Bob the Fourth > well Reaver Ventris, I'm glad your mood seems to have improved since your last email.
Though he'd been angry for a couple days after losing his Venture, the miner appeared to cheer up when he saw what a nice, charming person Bob was.
Reaver Ventris > Bob the Fourth you make my email sound hostile when you're the one who shot without warning
Bob the Fourth > You had plenty of warning. Well, you would have if you were following The Code.
Reaver Ventris > Bob the Fourth ppfffftt code... who is anyone to tell me what law i follow? you can hunt me down for being a vagrant to your laws, but i will always be an outsider to you and your people
...But then, just as quickly, Reaver's mood turned sour again. Our Agent judged that this was one of those carebears who ran hot and cold.
Bob the Fourth > that's a very rebelious statement. I think you should go reread The Code and consider your choices.
Reaver Ventris > yes it was, i hope you enjoyed it theres much more to come
Vera Vala > I dont need a permit if you are here and I'm in another system. You cant see me soooo
Bob the Fourth > Vera Vala are you another miner that claims to be afk mining while sat in a station?
Vera Vala > I'm just mining somewhere else while you are sitting here, so no worries Im safe
Vera Vala > I'm safe nothing to worry about
Sometimes new MinerBumping readers are surprised to see how much attention our Agents give to individual carebears. It makes more sense when you realize that our Agents are experts at multitasking. They often carry on multiple conversations at once, all while bumping or ganking other targets. You might say that this strength of our Agents is a force multiplier.
Bob the Fourth > We the Agents of the New Order are working for the betterment of all High Sec. Why would you want to stand in the way of such progress?
Reaver Ventris > describe this betterment? what benefit is there to me?
Reaver Ventris > its just a code for the strong to prey on the weak
Bob the Fourth > i guess first off, you'll need to realize that it's not all about you.
As with so many other isk-grinders, Reaver had a selfish attitude. It was obvious that he hadn't yet embraced the highsec community spirit.
Reaver Ventris > no its not... its about my corp
Reaver Ventris > and co-operation
Reaver Ventris > not extortion
Reaver Ventris > i dont stand for your kind
Barely a week into the game, Reaver was already prejudiced against Code enforcers.
Bob the Fourth > As a high sec miner, you occupy the space at the very bottom of the food chain. The sooner you accept that the happier you'll be.
Vera Vala > We know that you have been sent here to convince us to worship being more powerful than all of us. But you must know that like all of us, youre not gods.
Reaver Ventris > n who says ionly mine hisec?
Reaver Ventris > so stuff your foodchain
Bob was concerned for Reaver's future. The miner was too young to be playing into miner stereotypes. At this rate, he could end up becoming a bitter Anti-Ganker in a month or two.
Bob the Fourth > I see, so you are the alt of someone powerfull in Null Sec?
Reaver Ventris > lol no
Reaver Ventris > im a nebie who learned fast
Reaver Ventris > *newbie
Bob the Fourth > well done for admiting it. now, about your permit...
Agent Bob was pleased to see that the miner's mind wasn't entirely gone. Corrupted, maybe, but perhaps all was not lost.
Reaver Ventris > you can keep it mate
Reaver Ventris > i wont be needing that other to wipe me bum tbh
Reaver Ventris > stop tryna sell your tissues
Bob the Fourth > well, you should be setting a good example for your new brothers in mining.
Reaver Ventris > i am... rise up brothers. free yourselves from the oprressors!!!
Just when things started looking up, the miner descended back into the darkest places of his soul. This mission was turning into a roller coaster ride.
Ali Mony > Not that I encourage Bob's piracy but it sdure can be good for business
Dalmont Delantee > Happy for Bob to pop whoever he wants, thats the game :)
Reaver Ventris > he can do what he likes, but he aint getting a penny from me
Reaver Ventris > especiallly nt after calling me scum
Bob the Fourth > When did i call you scum?
Reaver Ventris > bottom of the foodchain... scum.... its all in the code my friend
When you're new to EVE and you have no one to guide you, things can go bad in a hurry. The newbie miner had become radicalized. Was there any chance for Bob to save him?

To be continued...

55 comments:

  1. "Bob the Fourth > I can offer you both a one time special deal, just send me 20 Million ISK and I'll let you each have one permit."

    Yet more lies and obfuscation by one of Jamey's CHODE. slaves. Just waiting for the bonus room invitation to appear. But then again Jamey won't print that portion of the chat logs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please tell us where they touched you. Did it happen in the bonus room?

      Delete
    2. Where's the lie?


      chodeanon if you hate CODE. so much why do you spend so much time on their blog?

      Seriously, what is it about this site that just wont let you go? For me it's the satire and James' humorous portrayal of salty highsec cowards.

      Something has you by the tail friend, please share.

      Delete
    3. chodeanon hates the Code so much he feels compelled to be among the first to comment, daily.

      Daily.

      Delete
    4. Nutritious and delicious, tastes just like chicken.

      Delete
    5. Chicken shitters?

      Delete
    6. Now available at Crackdonalds.

      Delete
  2. pedojedas still hiding his shame? He's the saltiest Pandemic Horde anti ganker ever. Have you ever seen anyone wind themselves up so badly?

    Pure beta that one.

    pedojedas, stop abusing kids. Get some professional help before you shardani your entire family.

    Jk JK, but seriously, you are edging out foxbolt for top "batshitter crazy" position. Just think about that, you are acting as insane as foxbolt. If you dont know who he is just google "admiral foxbolt minerbumping". It's a shame his youtube was removed. It's hard to explain just how crazy the foxbolt was without hose videos, but there's plenty of written examples in the nets. For everyone to witness.

    We are laughing at you as hard as we laughed at him. And we also pity you for being like him. Pity.

    How old are you anyway, Pajedas? Are you too scared of the implications to admit your real age?

    Yea yea I'm sure you gonna cry about me still calling you out, but that's my duty as an EVE player that wants to protect the game. It's my duty to force you to face your ineptitude, daily, until you learn.

    Because I care, friend.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, such projection.

      A big cry for help.

      Delete
    2. You should google "projection".

      You're too easy pedojedas.

      Delete
    3. Lol pajedus crying about "projecting" only after someone used it against him, but properly.

      That idiot is too stupid to understand why he fails daily.

      Always!

      Delete
    4. You're triggered.

      Delete
    5. Too easy.

      Always!

      Delete
  3. Mining is a legitimate profession in Eve Online. Otherwise why would CCP put such functionality into the game in the first place?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People who mine in highsec don't belong in EVE because they are cowards. EVE is anti-coward by nature, the game and the community, so if you mine in highsec like a coward then we get to call you out.

      Only a cowardly carebear would be convinced that mining in highsec is a valid play style in a PVP sandbox.

      Nice try tho, pedojedas.

      Delete
    2. Holy shit that retardbear still thinks mining is proper gameplay?

      It's way too wasy to get into EVE if these idiots are playing. Is there not some kind of screening process by now to keep the cowardly carebears out?

      I guess we'll have to just kill them until they understand just how invalid highsec miners are.

      Delete
    3. Guess you're going to have to take that up with the developers who made mining part of the gameplay.

      According to them it is proper gameplay.
      Which means according to the dev's your arguement is invalid.

      Delete
    4. I guess you are going to have take up your tears to the developers who made blowing ships up part of the gameplay.

      Just because you choose to mine does not make you exempt from play interaction, deal with it.

      Delete
    5. Miners are only here for our entertainment. CCP don't care if you blap them all day, every day.

      Always!

      Delete
    6. Someone has issues with the devs.

      Delete
    7. Salty miners hate devs.

      Always!

      Delete
    8. Interesting theory.

      Delete
  4. Meh. I've heard better stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. About your mom?

      Delete
    2. Not original.

      Fail.

      Delete
    3. Definately not original for that shitter to cry about "meh".

      Pure beta.

      Delete
  5. You can't cure cowardly carebears without first breaking them completely, then reprogramming them correctly.

    Only then should you issue a permit, otherwise you are just selling the carebear a false sense of security. You are not doing him, or the Code, any favors if you don't take the time to do it properly. Highsec is worth the effort.

    A permit should be one of the last things you help a carebear with, after he's truly ready to accept his place at the bottom of the EVE foodchain. AND, he should come to you seeking a permit, penitent and self-aware, you should never have to offer.

    Do I need to remind you of faildo raine? He was never properly deprogrammed from his time as an ag shitter, and it was obvious early on. Proper retraining could have fixed him.



    Always!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I refuse to waste my time trying to cajole some low I.Q. shitter into buying a permit. I would rather gank them repeatedly until they prostrate themselves before me and beg for a permit, on their yellow bellies, like the cowards they are.

    And there's nothing any carebear shitter can do about it except cry and die, and hide behind CONCORD.

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, fuk'em. From now on I will only sell a permit to a miner after he begs for one, and I'm adding charges for my time. 1000% mark-up sounds fair.


      Delete
    2. Yep 90% of the miners you still see in Highsec are Goofuses who decided long ago to live a life of crime, and they have their bingo down pat. Sometimes you just gank 'em and trust that the potential Gallants will check your bio and reach out on their own to get licensed.

      Delete
    3. Honestly I don't even look at the carebear's names anymore, much less their bio. When my scout alt is scanning highsec for carebears to kill all I see is the ship type. Everything else is trivial. Overview is set up that way on purpose. I don't care who the pilot is, or what corp/alliance/npcshithole they belong to, if they are mining in highsec they deserve to die until I get bored or they run away.

      Every miner I kill gets one opportunity to chat and find out what they did wrong and why they died. One. If they waste it and continue to die stupid deaths then I believe natural selection is working as intended. I have no remorse, nor empathy, for anyone who dies in highsec.

      Simply stated, I believe the only reason to be in highsec is to kill cowardly carebears and force them out of Empire. I don't believe EVE should have a safe place for those who do not want to PVP in a PVP game. I believe that EVE can not only survive a highsec carebear purge, I believe it would make the game even more popular if it is pitched properly. And, it would make EVE 'hard' again. Not that it ever was, really.

      Even the age of the character means nothing to me, they are all alts anyway. If a new player is too insolent to go looking for other players to join and learn from then he cannot ever truly be part of the community. There can be no solo in an MMO, silly carebears.

      You should never be able to hide like a coward in EVE, it goes against every principal that makes EVE great. I still don't understand why we don't have Walking In Stations yet, we should be able to gank station dwellers also. How simple is that to understand, I need more immersion in my RPG folks, and killing scambots in trade hub stations should be allowed, tell me that wouldn't be fun.

      It's a 'Sandbox PVP MMO RPG', but carebears show up anyway expecting to play WoW. (BTW, wow is removing PVP status for servers soon. No more PVP servers in the world's #1 themepark handholding shithole. That's where you carebears belong)


      EVE was hard? Not since 2008.

      Delete
    4. If a care bear wants a permit from me they will need to make me believe that they are actually ready to better themselves and accept the Code as the Law of highsec. If they want to live in highsec then they should obey the laws. I don't need their paltry 10 million isk. I would rather they become better people, in game and IRL. They should quit being shit, in game and IRL, if they want my respect. Otherwise I'll gank them until they squeal, then gank them some more. ;)

      Delete
    5. It's the guy from Deliverance.

      Delete
    6. No correlation that I can see other than your failed attempt to push your homophobic narrative.

      Unless you can provide quotes or something to back up your speg?

      Delete
    7. Lol pedojedas is homophobic AND likes young boys. How Greek.

      Delete
    8. THIS IS not SPARTA!

      Delete
  7. Meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not what ur mum said.

      Delete
    2. Definitely made up

      Delete
    3. Of win and carebear shitter tears!

      Never forget your false god shardani!

      Delete
    4. Die carebear scum!

      jk jk! In game of course! You silly shitlers need to stop killing your kids IRL. Keep it in game friends!

      Delete
  8. Do you think that's just one really buttrekt miner crying about CODE. every day, or they all his alts? Surely there can be no more than one or two people in eve that are so stupid as to post carebear tears here, daily, while the community lols at them.

    Are there any 'post pubescent' ag shitters? Or maybe they all have developmental problems? It still seems like a large concentration of RL retards in one group over at the ag HQ.

    Lot's of retards. Think about it: they may even have offspring. If that thought don't induce a spine-deep skin-crawling shudder...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're scared.

      Delete
    2. Shitter458 mistakes revulsion for fear? Does he even speak English?

      Must be a buttrekt highsec Pandemic Horde anti ganker. The low I.Q. is a dead giveaway.


      "Do you understand the words that are coming outa my mouth?!?!"

      Delete
    3. Plagiarism.

      Please add the source of the quote.

      Delete
  9. Why do carebears think they are good enough to play EVE with the rest of us? I mean social status aside, they are almost akin to a different species. No human should act like a shitter, intentionally. They are more like poo-flinging apes than modern humans. Subhuman at best.

    Oh hey! That may he the missing link scientists were looking for at one time. Nah! More like the ape is a missing link from carebears up to modern humans.

    Animals!

    ReplyDelete
  10. carebears are the shit.


    Oh wait, I had that jumbled up.

    The carebears are shit.


    Always!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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