Behind (almost) every good freighter killmail is a bumper.
Agent Siegfried Cohenberg is one of the most celebrated bumpers in EVE history. For years, he has bumped freighters, jump freighters, and other enemies of highsec. Since bumpers typically don't get on killmails, it can be a thankless task--though sometimes the freighter can be persuaded, pre-gank, to compensate the bumper for his services.
One fine day in Madirmilire, Agent Siegfried encountered an Obelisk pilot by the name of Evey McEveFace. She was a confirmed bot-aspirant. Siegfried demanded that Evey eject from the Obelisk and allow the ship to be boarded. Evey refused--until a group of gankers applied some damage to the vessel.
Fearing that a second wave of attackers would finish her off, Evey complied. Siegfried confiscated the freighter and searched it for contraband.
Evey's Obelisk was filled with 1.6 billion isk worth of cargo. None of it was licensed. Siegfried intended to make an example of Evey, but she begged him for mercy. She was desperate to get the freighter back.
Fortune smiled upon Evey. It just so happened that Siegfried knew of a corporation where freighter pilots can be trained to engage in ethical, Code-compliant hauling practices. The corp, Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling, belonged to an alliance with a remarkable reputation.
Alas, some rebels have attempted to besmirch the name of Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling over the years. No doubt each and every one of these slanderers is in the pocket of the bot-aspirancy lobby.
Siegfried made Evey an offer: She could get her Obelisk and its cargo back, but only if she joined the corp and completed a special assignment for the mighty CODE. alliance. Her job was to deliver 100 Catalysts to Uedama. As a trial member of Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling, she would be required to use her own freighter (another Obelisk) and purchase the Catalysts herself.
On the plus side, Evey would enjoy some benefits of being a member of the corp. For example, friendly fire was helpfully set to "legal" so corp members could web each other without CONCORD intervention.
Evey eagerly accepted Siegfried's deal. Unfortunately, by the time she reached Uedama, she fell victim to temptation. She was unable to complete her assignment in a fully Code-compliant manner. Shocked by her behavior, Evey's corpmates had no choice but to awox her.
The combined loss of two freighters and their cargo put Evey 4 billion isk in the red. It was a rough first day for the new recruit.
Interns for Cohenberg's Ethical Hauling might not get any isk, but they do get paid in experience. You can't put a price on that.
CHODE. slaves engaging in virtual rape. Disgusting. Where is the Bonus Room recording of Ms. McEveFace begging for her property and the CHODE. slaves just yucking it up?ReplyDelete
Less than human, all of them.
it was so good. the tears. listening to a grown man crying (wouldn't call him a man who cries)Delete
the best part about it? is theres nothing you can do about it
chode anon secretly wants to listen to the recording because it knows that miner tears are delicious.Delete
I like how this guy returns daily in a futile attempt to troll the masters of his butthurt.Delete
Who is the slave in this situation.
I think it is you.
CODE. Agents will always offer carebears a shoulder to cry on.Delete
I remember when Siegfried was the Executor of the CODE. Alliance. How did that turn out for y'all?ReplyDelete
Considering James is in control and tweeps/kalorned are out - hows enforcing the code outside of the code? XD XDDelete
p.s - I still remember when tweeps got called out on planning on ripping off kalorned XD
Isn't it embarrassing, having to ask James to save you all from Tweeps and his evil machinations?Delete
p.s. lol! Tweeps is a card!
isn't it embarrassing that I snapped my fingers and boom - enforcing the code outside of the code XD XD XDDelete
Almost as embarrassing as that time you got caught rubbing your crotch on your ex-wife's cat.Delete
But you're not gay, 'cos it was a female cat.
Pschaw! Flying a Freighter in the CODE. alliance, and so badly tanked at that?!?Delete
Somebody sounds mad.Delete
So did Evey stay in the corp?ReplyDelete
Where is the Bonus Room recording of Ms. McEveFace begging for her property. waxing surfers paradise is very important for your body.ReplyDelete