Thursday, May 31, 2018

The Hauling Consultants, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Barf Nader lost his composure when he witnessed his corpmate lose a freighter. For some reason, Agent Siegfried Cohenberg became the target of Barf's impotent wrath.


The carebear had absolutely no respect for the style of gameplay that made Siegfried famous.


And, naturally, Barf's hostility toward Siegfried was coupled with a hatred of the mighty CODE. alliance. The worst players in EVE all hate CODE. They're a coalition of Goofuses.


Under normal circumstances, this would be the part where Barf makes a vow to get his revenge by destroying the New Order. But Barf couldn't even muster the strength necessary to make a threat. He was beaten, and he knew it.


The carebear's only hope was that the New Order would generate enough karma to eventually attract a powerful enemy. Even if such a thing were possible, Barf miscalculated: All of our karma is good karma.


Somehow Barf never considered the possibility that the people who rage over dead Retrievers and make real-life death threats because someone shot their spaceship in a spaceship-shooting game aren't the good guys.


Sightseers lingered in Niarja to watch the spectacle. Seems like the "community" didn't mind what Siegfried was doing. Not one bit.


Barf was a classic case of a theme parker. He believed highsec should be completely risk-free in order to retain players. Barf sincerely believed EVE would be more exciting if we got rid of everything interesting in highsec--in exchange for some silent, AFK autopiloters.


What Barf and his ilk fail to realize is that without content, everyone would unsubscribe--even if they had access to a few more space rocks.


Rebels often say the New Order makes no difference. Other times, they'll claim that we're the sole cause of EVE's declining population. Silly carebears.


Barf was so disgusted by the Code that he almost couldn't stand to continue playing EVE. It made him sick to his stomach. Maybe that's what inspired his character name?


Eventually, Barf invited Siegfried to join him on voice comms to discuss the matter further. A relaxed Agent Siegfried exchanged pleasantries with his former "hauling consultant" customers, but at about the 1:20 mark Barf erupted, no longer able to contain his true feelings about Siegfried (and his family).


Will Barf and company become repeat customers? That's open for speculation, but one thing's for certain: They need someone to teach them how to properly haul things.

30 comments:

  1. Barf sure knows how to make himself look like a goofus in game and out of game. Not only did he pray to god he also pray to the devil, I don't think that is how it works!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meh, one's as imaginary as the other.

      Delete
  2. Excellent Soundcloud recording!!

    Freighter pilot logs into video game to haul imaginary goods in an imaginary spaceship.

    Freighter pilot ends up begging satanic forces to violently kill Agent Siegfried's family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because there is no distinction between actions in real life and in a role playing video game.

      "It's the same in and out of game. It doesn't matter. People come here for enjoyment and escape out of the real world and you just broke that trust."

      Delete
    2. It's all a matter of expectations. Carebears come to EVE with certain presupposed values that bear no relation to the way EVE actually works, and then when place under strain attempt to foist these values upon unsuspecting others using underhanded tactics like guilt and shame.

      As a result poor Siegfried here ends up being accused of being a failure IRL and having a demonic curse invoked upon his entire family.

      CCP attempt to set the correct expectations in the Golden Rules forum post but Carebears are just so bad at reading.

      Delete
    3. Indeed.

      Nader appears keen to escape from his seemingly less than satisfactory existence in the real world, only to perpetuate his apparent misery in the fantasy realm, (whether that be EVE online, or undertaking satanic rituals).

      I believe he made one good point, however. Code always wins in-game; thus it stands to reason that our noble Agents are more likely to enjoy similar situations out of game, too!

      \0/

      Delete
    4. Lol shitteraltanon00 triggered and projecting, her hypocrisy exposed for all to see.

      Delete
  3. Carebear decides he can play EVE.
    Carebear hides in highsec because he's a coward.
    Carebear gets ganked in highsec.
    Carebear gets mad because he had the wrong idea about EVE.
    Carebear decides he would rather quit than contribute and play properly.

    PVP sandbox working as intended.

    The Code always finds a carebear's true colors!

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oooooh SoundCloud!!!!!

    Thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I made it to the 30ish second mark and I heard that shitter using tye same tired old fallacy about "you are in game what you are in RL" and I realized that shitter should biomass.

    His reasoning only applies to himself as he is unable to leave RL out of our RPG. Everyone else is just playing a part, that shitter is a vile, rude, insolent, ignorant ass that thinks he's smart enough to have an opinion. His I.Q. is somewhere around 80ish max.
    I hope he reads this and decides to hit that button, then he can go back to whatever shithole themepark he crawled over from.

    Hey barf, your kind don't belong here.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Abhorrent behavior by the carebear shitters on that SoundCloud. Can't we get him banned for acting like that? I mean CCP likes to stick their noses into all our out of game channels. Has anyone posted that to the EVE forums yet? And of course Reddit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's not sink down to their level and waste CCP's time. I am sure Barf does not have any real connections in the underworld, and thus his curse was fake.

      Delete
  7. That whiner (I assume was barf) needs to learn what kind of game he's really playing. I should probably add that entire alliance to my list.

    If you are "in game what you are in RL", then that hypocritical shitter barf must be a ragey, violent, cowardly, sick individual with severe anger management issues, and a gaping vagina. And apparently he hates himself IRL too.

    How could anyone be so wrong and clueless about EVE?

    And you wanna sell that ignorant shitter a permit? Sell him a hull full of Void if you wanna get him something that will help.

    Is he not decced yet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're clearly projecting now. Settle down - and treat yourself to a mining permit. Alt 00's come with a special decorative border, which you may find rather appealing.

      Delete
    2. You need a hug, triggered altanon00. Why you so triggered? Can't separate the game from RL? It's easy to tickle your RL sympathies, jeasusfreak. ;)

      Sounds legit.

      Delete
    3. She got triggered when I said vagina.

      What a giant vagina. Looks like her inner sjw is set to millennial.

      Delete
  8. Is it pitchfork time yet? Did he act like a big enough sperg that we can collectively run him out of game now? As a community? He needs a tar-and-feather-on-a-rail style of intervention, and EVE is the perfect venue for that. :)

    Come on CCP, that miner needs a break before he goes full shardani!! Think of the children!

    Save the shitters! Ban them until they learn how to behave, for their own sake!

    Kick barf!

    Because we care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shhhh, you gonna make shitteraltanon start crying again about "projecting" and anons and how her giant vag is only safe in highsec.

      The Code always triggers salty altanons!

      Always!

      Delete
  9. This barf guy is misguided. I have always been a proponent of the CODE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He clearly said Siegfried could keep you.

      You are Ethical Hauling property now!

      Delete
  10. Lol triggered altanon00 finally got mad enough to post tears again.

    Shitters always cry! Always!

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow just wow antigankers are failing HARD

    ReplyDelete
  12. Meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
  13. "you are in game what you are in RL"
    There's some truth in that statement, the carebears are probably victims IRL too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow... That is quite the SoundCloud treasure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so kind.... but no. Its fun here.

      Delete
    2. You don't belong. You are the most cowardly "antiganker" I have ever encountered. How many people have invited you to PVP away from Empire, and how many times have you made excuses while hiding in highsec? Probably every time. I have chat log proof of you lying in an attempt to hide from PVP, AFTER you tried to run your mouth about it.




      Cowards like you don't belong, carebear. Chicken shitter.

      Get
      The
      Fuck
      Out

      Your kind will never belong here.

      Delete
  15. I wonder how CCP Guard feels about that Soundcloud post.

    ReplyDelete

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