Saturday, May 19, 2018

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Ninety-One Billion in Shares Sold

There's more than one way to skin a carebear.

Agent Lawrence Lawton has noticed an uptick in the number of miners using blingy drones in highsec. The use of such drones is absolutely illegal under the Code. Fortunately, our Agents have the power to confiscate them.

It's common for Agents to send carebears a friendly post-gank EVEmail telling them how to play EVE correctly. It occurred to Agent Lawrence that sometimes taking a miner's drones inflicts an even greater loss of isk than a gank would. Thus, Lawrence now sends miners a message when he executes a "bump and grab".

As pictured here, Lawrence used a Machariel to bump an Orca 270+ kilometers away from its illegal drones. The miner rejected his convo request.

...Or perhaps the miner's convo requests were blocked by default. Either way, his refusal to communicate with the Agent cost him.

Stealing drones in this manner doesn't get recognized on killboards, so Lawrence has begun keeping a public spreadsheet of his activities. In the past few months, Lawrence has confiscated over 20 billion isk worth of drones!

Miner bumping pays.

The Lawton School for Pubbies Who Can't Mine Good is a wonderful organization. As a result of their good fortune, they were able to purchase 3,000 additional shares of New Order stock, which took us past the 1,589, 1,590, and 1,591 billion isk marks and earned the Lawton School a Triple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

And for all the whiny carebears reading today's post, what I've just described is EVE game mechanics working as intended.


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    Don't bin those bases either Рcook them down with stock and use to make a velvety soup or creamy pur̩e to accompany a main course.

    1. For anyone who wants a good laugh, or even a hundred. ;)

      Holy shit, this guy.

  2. The Code always wins!

    Especially when buttrekt miners copypasta blocks of poorly disguised tears in the Minerbumping comments. Nothing to say, just sperging for the sake of sperging. Adolescent angst run wild because an adult cannot play a video game correctly.

    Shitters gonna shit?



  3. Yesterday an "agent" or two were seen posting that it would be bad if some violent shitter off'd himself.

    What do they care if some superstitious subhuman savage takes a permanent vacation?

    Do they actually believe he has some sort of divine right to life? Not only can we NOT save everyone, we should NOT try. Our species advanced up the food chain to dominance through natural selection. Why should we fight it now?

    Their sympathies spawn from the same fallacies that his religion is based on. Superstition only holds us back as a species, and we are fast running out of time and space, and options. "No shitter left behind" will be the end of us as a species. Why should we all suffer to protect those who refuse to protect themselves.

    And that's why their argument is as invalid as some savage's "right" to life. It's time for a thorough culling.

    IN GAME OF COURSE! Holy crap you silly carebears need to stop killing yourselves/kids/anyone out of game.


    p.s. learn2RP or gtfo.

  4. Damn, LL is making bank on carebear stupidity.

    Well that's why carebears exist, they fill a niche. Evolution was not kind to the carebear though. Ignorant AND unattractive, it seems gankers are doing them a favor.

    Help a poor oblivious carebear today, gank then out of their misery. It's the humane thing to do.


  5. Why the bot hate?May 19, 2018 at 9:11 PM

    This site is racist against bots!

    I identify as an omni-gender cross-dressing industrial mining robot, but before I can post my snowflake opinion I must chexk a box that reads: "I am not a robot"!!?!1?

    Do you understand how offensive this is? I bet the ACLU would be veeeery interested in what's going on here! You have no right to make me deny myself in order to validate myself. WTF?

    Torture. Targeted torture.

    You should try putting yourself in my ... ?shoes? ... You know what I mean!

    Simply outrageous!!!

    James! I demand special consideration! Considering how special I am...

    1. Oh, I am also gonna need sanitation facilities tailored to my chosen identity. Safe spaces for all!

  6. wow just wow. antiganking is failing so hard right now.

    Anyone else remember how Thomas supports kalynn shardani's decisions and then stole all the AG donations?

  7. "There's more than one way to skin a carebear"

    I'm up to 28, ways to skin a carebear in EVE. But I'm always looking for new, and painful, ways! Whatever it takes to run them out of highsec.


    1. Pod them and leave the corpse in the belt like a fox nailed to a fence post.

    2. #29 Nail frozen corpse to belt beacon.

      I like it!

  8. Oh man, I can't wait for the Abyssal release, all those risk-adverse highsec carebears suddenly becoming suspect, in highsec, at a scannable site, and they can't see local until they are out of the pocket.

    I will be podding my shit back to highsec before the release, buy a few tags, then bathe in the never-ending river of salty carebear tears.

    Than you CCP!!

  9. Well done Agent Lawrence! I'm sure we will all sleep better tonight, knowing that your hard work and dedication has resulted in the liberation of over 20,000,000,000 ISK worth of drones! \0/

  10. Insane in the brain!

    Wow, just wow.

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  12. Pajedas posts about real life failures in a vain attempt to get your sympathy for him being such a poor video game player, hoping that the game makers will bias their ineptitude in a patch.

    Shardani did the same thing.

    Let that sink in.

    Losers be losers in my opinion.

  13. As a casual browser of this site I must say I enjoy the satire and roleplay aspects. The comments I enjoy also, but I make it a point not to spend too much time reading them if it breaks the immersion. However, over the last few days it's been hard not to read through the troll posts just to see what I was minssing, I do like to keep up with who the current players, and I am pretty good at separating the different anons by using multiple points of refrence in their writing style, punctuations, grammar, and a few other 'markers' that are usually unique from one person to the next. Oh what I would give for some actual handwriting samples. Although I have discovered plenty without them.

    I guess my point is that after reading the last few days comments, and looking into the old and new EveO forums, I am pretty sure I know who the last person to own the Pajedas character was. Well, his main character now and several past ones, and that's with a 90% certainty according to the discipline I subscribe to. That's as good as it gets without access to certain physical evidence.

    Eve Online and, helping me have fun, and keep my mind sharp!

  14. Does anyone have a link to the "unmoderated" blog that pedojedas started? I missed that one and I bet it is super lulzy! Supah!

  15. Meh seems made up

    1. pedoalts usually think like that. It's the lack of an education coupled with a severe case of buttrekt that makes you so mad.

  16. Let me start by saying I don't even play the game - I came across your blog when searching for MMOs to play, and fell down the rabbit hole EVE > Careers > Mining > Gankers/PVP > Miner Bumping > etc etc... it actually had a lot more steps than that (I'm just trying to summarize) before I ended up on this blog - you know how internet rabbit holes can be.

    I understand there are probably some serious roleplay stuff going around these posts and replies, but my god do you all sound like pretentious neckbeards who do nothing but play the game all day to try and realize your fantasies of self-righteousness and/or self-importance on something that is just a fun online pastime (and by "fun online pastime" I mean both the EVE game itself and this blog too). The 'code' thing, it reads like some cray cray 'delusion of grandeur' thing to me.

    Not that it scares me away from the game to be honest - it only makes me even more curious about EVE, and more willing to play it - this aspect of it being a """"serious"""" MMO, like a more "adult"(ish) online game. I hope my 'concerns' (of sorts) stated above are unfounded and uninformed, and that experienced EVE veterans are normal people... and that this blog is just a really good piece of roleplaying effort (which is a real compliment!) - or satire.

    To finish it up, thumbs up to the people who seem to put real efforts in this (roleplaying blog and gaming skills). The passion is truly noticeable!
    ...and just to be sure, my condolences if any of you happens to be an actual "neckbeard" self-important person with this level of delusion. Being only a 'curious passerby outsider', I don't know the difference, given that I'm somewhat ignorant about the subject at hand.

    1. Quit lying, you play and you are just another pedojedas alt.

      Lying PHags always lie.

  17. Great post just what I was looking for.


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