Sunday, September 9, 2018

Kills of the Week

Our Agents are always vigilant--that's how highsec got to be in its present state. You, too, ought to exercise some of that vigilance, dear reader. Today's post will reward it. From the week of September 2nd @ 00:00 EVEtime through September 8th @ 23:59 EVEtime:



John4787 Talvanen thought a pesky Procurer could stand between Agents Max August Zorn, Ernst Steinitz, Niels Henrik Abel, and Augustus De Morgan and the ORE Strip Miners they sought to destroy. No such luck, John4787. Though Procurers are tankier than Hulks, the miner's fit was particularly strange. That's not a yield mod you see in the lowslot--it's an amplifier for his ECM. Needless to say, it didn't work.



"Why don't you shoot some ships that can shoot back?" If only the carebears bothered to equip some weapons. Late last week, Chaos-Master decided to go on a trip in his Orthrus. Apparently it was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. Either that, or he carefully planned not to fit any modules. Agents Jacob Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Aiko Danuja, Jeremy Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jack Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Jimmy Kusion spotted the malfeasant and brought him to justice.


He was carrying PLEX. Typical.



Urhi Teshup sent her shuttle on autopilot through Niarja with precisely the outcome you'd expect: A swift gank by Agent Aaaarrgg. Uhri's pod was a juicy one, weighing in at 2.1 billion isk.


I could talk about the Nomads, but let's face it--what you're really interested in is finding out why the Podkill of the Week ended up in the middle of the post instead of the end. Let us wait and see.



Mya B went to Jita in a jump freighter. That was not a very good idea. In fact, it was a terrible idea: The Tax Collectors were camped out in Jita at that very moment, and Mya B didn't own a permit! The Goofus got exactly what she deserved, namely two dozen Taloses in her face. Agents Tax Collector Kittens, Australian Excellence, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Richard, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Rachel, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Otto, Tax Collector Buck, Kill The Innocents, and Dr Hattrick rode forth and showed Mya B their sunglasses--then killed her.


Nanotransistors? I hope it was worth it.



tacobutt AFK'ed her way into Jita without the slightest concern that she might get ganked. "Why would I worry about the mighty CODE. alliance?" she must've thought to herself, "Didn't that alliance die years ago? Isn't James 315 banned?" Agents Tax Collector Kittens, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector HongMei, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Hill, Australian Excellence, and Tax Collector Max brought the miner up to speed as soon as she returned to her keyboard. They started by gently breaking the news that she lost all of her stuff while AFK.


You need a permit for that.



If you're still reading this post, enjoy this 81.6 billion isk killmail. It comes to us courtesy of Dirtay and his staggering lack of judgment. Why would he bring such a pricey jump freighter into Jita while the Tax Collectors were on duty? Why would he pilot such a pricey ship at all? And why did he choose to go AFK instead of sparing a few minutes to look after his 81.6 billion isk investment?

Ah, but he chose to disobey the Code. And it cost him everything.

Agents Tax Collector Karl Marx, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector BokChoy, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Hill, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Otto, Tax Collector Rachel, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Yuna, Kill The Innocents, and Dr Hattrick once again wielded their Talos fleet with such courage and skill that everyone must know that there is no ship in highsec that can survive without the Code.

CODE. isn't dead, but a lot of our enemies certainly are. Because the CODE always wins. Always!

13 comments:

  1. "Chaos-master" the orthrus 'pilot'.....

    Why do the carebeariest people always choose names like that? More like "shit-master", have you seen his kb?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. James 315 loves you more. I measured it.

      Delete
    2. That's called sexual assault

      Delete
  3. Autopiloting 81b in an anti-tanked freighter? Dear lord..

    ReplyDelete
  4. It doesn't take skill or courage to kill someone who's afk. Just thought idI bring that up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow just wow. Antigankers are failing sk hard right now

    ReplyDelete

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