Monday, September 17, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 18

Previously, on MinerBumping... The war was taking its toll on Lahnius. He'd dreamed of fighting a righteous crusade against Agent Alt 00 and the rest of the mighty CODE. alliance, only to be embroiled in a war with Failed Diplomacy corp. Then the worst happened: Failed Diplomacy destroyed Lahnius' precious refinery. But Lahnius wasn't out of the game yet.

Lahnius had a fantasy about getting CODE. members banned by reporting a conspiracy theory to CCP. Naturally, Lahnius shared this fantasy with Nakugard local.

Late at night, Nakugard was quiet. Lahnius noticed that Alt 00 was still in the system, though, so he challenged her to argue with him.

Our Agent was AFK. Unlike the miners she hunted, however, she was safely docked up in accordance with the Code and common sense. Her account merely logged chat. Lahnius kept chatting.

Without anyone to talk to, Lahnius mused about highsec politics. Maybe Anti-Ganking would wise up and figure out a way to defeat the New Order, or maybe Pandemic Legion would do it.

Lahnius felt he was in a stronger strategic position than when the Failed Diplomacy wardec started. They destroyed his refinery, true, but he'd gathered so much intel in the meantime.

What Lahnius needed was a way to translate his intel into victories in actual spaceship battles. That goal, so far, proved elusive. Maybe random people who saw him chatting in local would provide the necessary firepower.

Lahnius gradually realized that he was alone, broadcasting his message into the cold, dark emptiness of space.

Alt 00 eventually logged off for the night, though another account remained in system to log chat in her absence. Would Lahnius find a reason to continue talking?

Lahnius boasted to anyone who would listen, which was pretty much no one. Whatever plans Lahnius had with his "lady", they were put on hold for this nonsense.

The next day, our Agent was scouting nearby systems when he ran into Blayne Shinn. From his previous encounters with Blayne, Alt 00 knew him to be an alt of Lahnius.

Another of Lahnius' alts, Mr None, joined the conversation. It seems Lahnius had found a solution to his problem of having no one to talk to: He spoke to his own alts, giving them commands--which they of course promptly obeyed. They even laughed at his jokes.

Unlike other EVE players, who called Lahnius a crackpot, Lahnius' alts completely agreed with his conspiracy theories.

Lahnius enlisted the support of yet another of his alts, Madyson Landar. She was able to confirm Lahnius' suspicions about the Saviour of Highsec. At last, the rebel leader had found his following.

To be continued...


  1. pl is moving to hisec?

    That in itself is funny but if true i am sure they will be ganking spastics like this nobody.

    He seems mad.

  2. This dude Lahnius reminds me of a lush who sits at the end of a dive bar for hours on end, an empty shot glass & half drunk beer sitting in pools of spilt drink in front of him, talking total gibberish to himself while everyone else at the bar just totally ignores him.

  3. "Hello, sock that I am wearing on my hand. Code's a scam and I am very handsome and smart, right?"

    "Even I think you're crazy, Lahnius!"

  4. Come on , this dude is a blast:) he's trying to sound less hurt than he is, not mad but in a corner quite alone to talk to himself.. give him a break /o/

    1. He's an idiot. Nothing special about that. His kind will never understand how to EVE properly, so they should just move on.

      If all the highsec shitters left, then CCP could delete highsec and fix EVE.

      Priorities, people!

  5. Like many who have CODE. in our employment history i am genuinely tired of whiny players who think that the in game petition system is an extra high slot in a mining barge.

    CCP when are you going to make good on punitive action for vexatious miners who openly and publically admit to abusing the system?

    It is time to drain the ISD swamp and treat these ISD fairy god mothers like the wimpy beta males they are.

    It is so cringeworthy to see a comment from a green or blue text sperglord who is so uneducated in game mechanics.

  6. That's one mofo I'd have to stab. He's good example of why you shouldn't let retards breed. His family must be so proud.

    IRL ofc.

  7. When my corp moves back to highsec, we'll be keeping an eye out for sperglords like Lahnius.

  8. Calm down murder lover

  9. LOL there's nothing cringier than a pilot pretending to have a conversation with his own alts. Or maybe there is. Looking forward to the conclusion!


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