Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 17

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 watched as an epic war of words erupted in the Nakugard system. The participants were Lahnius--an anti-Code rebel--and Failed Diplomacy spokesman Aitillies--also an anti-Code rebel. Each accused the other of being a puppet of the mighty CODE. alliance. When the war turned from rhetoric to spaceship combat, Failed Diplomacy won the first battle.

An explosion rocked Nakugard. The destruction of a refinery owned by Lahnius' corporation lit up the system. It seemed obvious that Failed Diplomacy was going to win the war, but Alt 00 wanted to hear Lahnius' side of the story.

For many years, it has been customary in nullsec for losers to claim that their losses have "already been replaced". Lahnius outdid them all.

Earlier, Lahnius had seen Metal Icarus as an anti-war member of Failed Diplomacy--perhaps the one member of the corp who might be a potential ally. Not anymore. Metal took part in the refinery kill.

Lahnius didn't need anyone's help. In fact, he gained four times as much money when he lost battles. Bring it on!

Lahnius reminded Alt 00 that he still believed Failed Diplomacy was an arm of the CODE. alliance. He'd lost a refinery in the most recent battle, yes, but when his conflict against CODE. was evaluated as a whole, he was actually winning. The value of the intel he'd gained while spying on CODE. was worth so much more than a refinery.

Now that the espionage phase of the war was over, Lahnius could declassify certain sensitive matters. For example, he had often tried to provide intel about unlicensed miners; these reports were ignored by CODE. leadership. For the first time, Lahnius revealed that the reports were actually elaborate traps. Only the incompetence of his Anti-Ganker co-conspirators had foiled them.

On the surface, he may have appeared to be a loyal Code enforcer, but Lahnius was actually a highly successful anti-Code operative the whole time. He'd rescued countless miners right under CODE.'s nose! Lahnius' life story was a highsec version of "Schindler's List".

Before Lahnius could get too excited about his newly declassified acts of heroism, our Agent gently reminded him that Nakugard was recently the scene of billions of isk worth of Orca ganks. Lahnius had done nothing to stop them.

The anti-Code resistance fighter discovered, to his frustration, that no matter how many stories he told about his greatness, the Nakugard public didn't appreciate him.

When he faced criticism from the locals, Lahnius accused them of being Failed Diplomacy spies. Agent Alt 00 felt that Lahnius was losing touch with reality. Perhaps reading the words of James 315 would help jolt him back to his senses?

When in doubt, MinerBumping works wonders. And if a carebear won't go to MinerBumping, bring MinerBumping to the carebear:

However, Lahnius had more secrets about CODE. to reveal.

To be continued...


  1. Replies
    1. James 315, the guy whose blog you cry on every day because people enjoy playing a videogame differently to you.

  2. "Lahnius' life story was a highsec version of "Schindler's List"."

    At least now Jamey admits he is the highsec version of Hitler, his CHODE. slaves are the highsec version of the SS/Nazis, and everybody else is the highsec version of the Jews.

    1. I guess I would be mad too,
      If I were as ignorant as you.

    2. Yeah I'm surprised he used that quip. I know the carebears would jump straight on that comment to justify the similarity that killing 6 million Jews is the same as blowing up imaginary internet spaceships.

    3. It's Jamey's wish fulfillment.

  3. "Lahnius didn't need anyone's help. In fact, he gained four times as much money when he lost battles. Bring it on!"

    I'm still laughing.

  4. Whoever writes the commentary is pure genius, very entertaining.

  5. One of the best string of eve news yet.


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