Friday, September 28, 2018

The Career Agent, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Ernst Steinitz confiscated billions of isk worth of blingy drones from illegal miner Mick O'niel. When he realized that his reimbursement claim was likely to fail, the guilty miner attempted to put the Code itself on trial.
Mick O'niel > what do u actually think ur doing Lewak ?
Mick O'niel > ur turing new players away from the game
Ernst Steinitz > Mick O'niel you steal their ore so they cannot keep up in their Ventures.
Ernst Steinitz > Actually we protect new players in Rookie Systems from illegal Miners like you.
Mick had hoped that mining in a "rookie system" would protect him, despite the fact that his character had been created in 2013.
Mick O'niel > i will steal all i can from those whom assert that all is theres its a logical truth
Lewak > we are increasing player retention not driving them away, ccp proved that
Mick O'niel > show me ur evidance?
Lewak > http://www.minerbumping.com/2015/03/ccp-proves-new-order-was-right-about.html
Carebears, never ask an Agent of the New Order for evidence unless you actually want to see it. Our Agents are always armed with evidence.
Mick O'niel > how many are ucode nutters ?
Crom Cimmeria > Praise James!
Subotai Hyrkanian > Praise James!!!!
Aiko Danuja > James is great!
Manic Mondays > James is our Saviour!!!
Lewak > Praise The Saviour of Highsec!
Aiko Danuja > Blessings upon all in the name of James.
Augustus De Morgan > Praise James!
Max August Zorn > Praise James!
Niels Henrik Abel > Praise James!
Assuming popular opinion was on his side, Mick took his case to the public. He discovered, to his horror, that highsec is filled with pro-Code sentiment these days.
Mick O'niel > so many but none willignto face me
Ernst Steinitz > You see we have many friends and supporters.
Mick O'niel > Ernst Steinitz its you im after
Ernst Steinitz > How should we fight you if you are 380km away from the belt?
Mick O'niel > what belt?
Ernst Steinitz > Mick O'niel What do you mean with "what belt?" ?
With all rhetorical options fully exhausted, Mick put his back-up plan into action.


...And promptly lost his battlecruiser.
Ernst Steinitz > It seems you are bad at PvP
Mick O'niel > i hesitated on ur scout
Mick O'niel > didnt want to shoot a civilian
Mick O'niel > u got me
The miner was chastened, but not yet out of excuses.
Mick O'niel > how did you organise so quick
Mick O'niel > i know i was in the system a long time but u found me so fast
Mick O'niel > i was going every where to throw u
Mick O'niel > but u found me
Ernst Steinitz > I was already undocked with weapons overheated and just needed to warp to your position
Mick was stunned by our Agents' elite PvP skills. This is a common reaction among miners who spend all day shooting at asteroids that can't shoot back.
Mick O'niel > so if i give y 10m ull leave me to my belt then yeah ?
Ernst Steinitz > for 10M ISK you can purchase a Mining Permit that is valid for a whole year of Mining in HighSec.
Mick O'niel > i dont trust you ....
Mick O'niel > how can i
Mick O'niel > ull likly come and gank me for a laugh
Mick O'niel > whats to say another code doche wont drop in and do me as im not on his spread shet lol
Mick understood that a New Order mining permit was his only option. Still, he couldn't bring himself to open his wallet.
Ernst Steinitz > If you stop using illegal modules in Rookie Systems you are also much less likely to be ganked. Combined with a Permit you are as safe as you can be.
Mick O'niel > so even if i give u 10 mill ull still do me in if im in rookie space
Ernst Steinitz > No, The New Halaima Code of Conduct containts no rule specifically about Rookie Systems, but miners in Rookie Systems not in Ventures are not that common and therefore worth to be ship scanned. If you have a Mining Permit you'll probably be left in peace except you use Harvester Mining Drones again.
Mick O'niel > whats up with them ? there value ?
Ernst Steinitz > Yes, their value is the reason why they are illegal.
Mick O'niel > ridiculous
Being told he couldn't use blingy mining drones was a deal-breaker for Mick. He logged off in sorrow.


A few days later, our heroes returned to Akiainavas, the "career agent system" that Mick felt belonged to rookies. This time, he was alert and at his keyboard.


Mick played the Anti-Ganker for a moment, attempting to warn his fellow miners. It was in vain, of course: An AFK miner was destroyed. Once again, Mick was astonished by our Agents' efficiency.


The power of the Code is an awesome thing to behold. Even to the most hardheaded of bot-aspirants.

11 comments:

  1. Lol, pissed off miners can't type for shit.

    Don't you just love it when a recently ganked miner brings his "combat" ship, runs his mouth, gets ganked, suddenly learns some humility, then starts the process over again because he's got an extra set of chromosomes, or whatever makes them act like that.

    I like to shoot them just to hear them squeal. I don't even bother trying to educate them anymore, I just wanna see 'em die. Highsec carebears deserve everything that happens to them in game.

    Hell, let's just say it: highsec carebears probably deserve everything they get IRL too. They seem like the nastiest sort of people anyway, so who cares if some halfwit deletes himself and his bad genetics. It helps save future generations from being overpopulated with morons and idiots when some worthless troglodyte practices voluntary euthanasia.

    I mean seriously, do we really want the stupid to breed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. James loves all the miners, even the unrepentant.

      Delete
  2. I've always considered the long warp from in-gate to target agonizing. Is the miner paying attention? What's if he's gone when I land? Sometimes I'll warp onto an empty grid and feel all disappointed, but then rubberband and land on the target after all. CCPlease quit playing games with my heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I am thinking that fitting warp speed rigs on t1 catas may be worth it...

      Delete
    2. I've been known to fit warp speed rigs to a scram atron and jump him in slightly ahead of the pack.

      Delete
    3. No miner can withstand the power of 8 rigless meta 1 catalysts.
      And cheaper than 1 t2 cat.


      Ag get that little bit of added salt when they fail.

      Delete
  3. Meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete

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