Saturday, July 13, 2019

The Invasion of Uedama, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 and her fellow Agents took control of the situation when the "Triglavian Invasion" brought PvE'ers into the Uedama system. But anti-Code carebear Vantaanya threatened to revolt against their authority.


Agents in the Uedama neighborhood gathered around to help. It was obvious that Vantaanya had a problem. But what was the precise nature of that problem?


Vantaanya boasted that he has been playing in EVE longer than the Saviour of Highsec. Actually, Vantaanya was created 5 years later. He must have been referring to his anonymous main. Perhaps a freighter pilot who had been repeatedly ganked?


The carebear proudly proclaimed his wormhole roots. So why was he so concerned for the safety of highsec miners?


Vantaanya again brought up his conspiracy theory that the mighty CODE. alliance is full of gank-bots. In truth, there's not a machine on earth that can do what our Agents do.


Agent Ange des Larmes grew concerned. Unlike a typical gank recipient, Vantaanya's anger was not subsiding with time. Our Agent had to get to the heart of the matter.


Vantaanya put his cards on the table. He was certain that CODE. was solely responsible for the fate of EVE and CCP. He was right about that, but not in the way he thought.


According to Vantaanya, EVE's only hope for survival was for Pearl Abyss to ban suicide ganking. If that's their plan, they're going about it in a very circuitous way. Maybe they'll get around to it after they're done experimenting with nullsec.


The Vantaanyas of the world think that EVE would be a much more compelling, dynamic game if highsec was 100% safe. Then players could stay in highsec forever and grind isk endlessly while AFK. Surely that would capture the imagination of people who don't play EVE. Someone ought to go fetch CCP's marketing team (if they still have one).


Agent Alt 00 had heard quite enough from Vantaanya. It was time for her to deploy a truth bomb. She linked CCP's famous study about the effect of ganking on player retention. How would Vantaanya respond?


Vantaanya went silent and disappeared. I suppose he had a lot to think about. In the meantime, his anti-Code rebellion had been quashed--another victory for the New Order!


But the Triglavian intrigue was only just beginning.

To be continued...

9 comments:

  1. Its easy to see whch side is winning, one side is full of bitterness and anger, the other is having fun in a videogame. No prizes for guessing which side represents The New Order as it is too obvious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The only people i have read in local, parrot squawking the ass hat insult over the years, were those emotionally stunted people who tick Neither on the forms that ask you if you are male or female.

    How would these folks survive if they had to catch and cook their dinner?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably by using their nails to scratch some tree bark they can chew on for nutrition. That feels very fitting for a highsec miner.

      Delete
    2. You can suck on rocks and it stimulates your body to feel that it is digesting food.

      Delete
  3. If CODE is the "garbage picker" of EVE - does that mean that miners are garbage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes,

      And ag are the seagulls hanging around the bin waiting to eat that chip scrap from the packet

      Delete
  4. It must feel miserable to be so weak and easily controlled. Miners are naturally repellent, especially to each other. How awkward for them to be exchanging lame jokes in a show of bravado.

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.