Thursday, August 8, 2019

Warn Me Again, Please

We've seen some pretty awful carebear fits over the years. Retrievers like this one are sadly all too common. But how do these miners justify their terrible decisions?
Kaluntai Nagato > Wtf is your problem anyway, Kill a defenseless mining barge. Go fuck yourself. I'll get my revenge you piece of shit.
Spine Ripper > You had no mining permit
Kaluntai Nagato > Wtf are you talking about
...They don't.
Kaluntai Nagato > I don't need a mining permit
Spine Ripper > you see, you do. Otherwise your ship blows up
Kaluntai Nagato > Yeah ok shithead whatever
Kaluntai Nagato > Fuck your New order bullshit
Bot-aspirant miner Kaluntai Nagato made no effort to explain or justify the mistakes that led to his death. Instead, he pretended to be ignorant of the Code.

Agent Spine Ripper didn't fall for the miner's tricks. She knew perfectly well how guilty he was.
Spine Ripper > Its the Code. Everyone in highsec has agreed to follow it.
Kaluntai Nagato > I didn't
Kaluntai Nagato > and never will
Spine Ripper > which is why I shot you
Spine Ripper > Its pretty simple
Kaluntai Nagato > You are now my enemy, I did nothing to you and you gave no warning just killed me
Kaluntai protested that this was the first he'd ever heard about the Code and its permit requirement. Why oh why didn't Spine Ripper tell him sooner? Then he would've purchased one. Surely.

In fact, less than two weeks earlier, Kaluntai lost a similarly terrible Retriever when it was ganked in the exact same system. So much for "no warning". But maybe Spine Ripper wouldn't know about that.

...Then again, maybe she would.
Spine Ripper > 1) Bing Bangboom warned you last time I ganked you.
Kaluntai Nagato > Yeah fuck Bing Bangboom
Spine Ripper > 2) Bing uncloaked right beside you on this gank.
Spine Ripper > 3) James 315 has declared everyone warned. Like five years ago
Spine Ripper > You were extremely guilty.
Spine Ripper > AFK mining. No tank. No permit.
Kaluntai's lies crumbled into dust before the righteous truth of the Code. Now there was nowhere to hide.
Kaluntai Nagato > I just got back into this game and didn't know it was filled with a bunch of trolls who go around killing people who can't fight back
Kaluntai Nagato > Pathetic
Kaluntai Nagato > Go pvp you loser
Spine Ripper > Miner, calm down
Like so many other miners who get caught in a lie, Kaluntai tried out the "poor, defenseless newbie/new returning player" routine. It has become such a cliché that I wonder if CCP awards players a certain amount of free skillpoints each time they use it.
Spine Ripper > That WAS PvP
Spine Ripper > Elite PvP in fact
Kaluntai Nagato > Real pvp
Spine Ripper > Look. I'm a P and you're a P. I v'd you.
Our Agent crushed Kaluntai's "PvP" argument as if it were a flimsy mining barge.
Kaluntai Nagato > I have no weapons
Spine Ripper > You had drones
Kaluntai Nagato > 1 fucking attack drone to fight off pirates
Kaluntai Nagato > Whatever dude
Kaluntai Nagato > I'll see you again
Highsec miners sometimes complain that the New Order belittles them by saying they're not proper EVE players. Actually, it's the miners themselves who claim not to be real players. I mean, they don't consider themselves a "P" in "PvP", so what are we supposed to think?
Spine Ripper > You were the one who chose to pvp in that ship
Kaluntai Nagato > Fuck your corp and fuck the new order
Spine Ripper > Again, calm down
Agent Spine Ripper won the spaceship battle and won the war of words. Yet there are still some carebears out there who would look at our Agent's dazzling PvP and tut-tut about "bullying new players".

Say, carebear, do you have any other excuses you'd like to try?


  1. "I just got back into this game and didn't know it was filled with a bunch of trolls who go around killing people who can't fight back"

    Hmm... Someone needs to try an easier game. Like Sim City.

  2. The newbie was five years young.

  3. I just came back to the game and didn't realize that was full of lazy miners too ignorant to save themselves and follow the Code.

    Guess we'll have to kill them.

    All of them.

    1. Good philosophy. The ones you can't kill are the compliant ones.

    2. Do you even play?

  4. Hey, how come you guys don't crap up the r/eve forums like you do the C&P ones?

    Is it because they'd ban you or delete each of the extra threads?

    Just curious. Because man you guys crap up C&P. Like... A lot.


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