Friday, September 13, 2019

No Salvation, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Ilonna Renou confirmed that xxXSalvationXxx corp was engaged in the mass-recruitment of newbies in order to exploit them and encourage bot-aspirancy. And the leader of this 450+ member corp was a foul-mouthed Goofus named RebelKiwi.

After RebelKiwi repeatedly sent her angry EVEmails, Agent Ilonna responded. Our Agent knew that invoking the Code might upset the carebear CEO, but she saw no alternative.

RebelKiwi recoiled, hissing at the very mention of the Code. What did she expect?

Negotiating with a Goofus can be difficult. Ilonna anticipated further resistance from RebelKiwi. However, our Agent wanted to give the miners every opportunity to do the right thing.

Agent Ilonna marveled at the fact that so many hundreds of highsec miners had chosen to follow someone like RebelKiwi. Meanwhile, the carebear CEO was working to encourage xxXSalvationXxx to resist the Code. Would it work?

Tor Johnson Maulerant was typical of the line members of xxXSalvationXxx. He was relatively new to EVE, and he spent all of his time AFK mining in highsec. Worse than that, if he remained in the corp, he would continue to devote his EVE career to AFK mining. Corps like xxXSalvationXxx do not train their members to grow; they keep them down.

In response to the presence of our Agents, Tor was eager to fight back. But he didn't know how. He requested training and assistance from his hundreds of corpmates. As is typical of corps like xxXSalvationXxx, they provided him with nothing. A few hours later, Tor grew bored, gave up, and went back to AFK mining.

...Whereupon he was ganked in his fail-fit Venture.

Another member of the corp tried to organize a resistance. His only idea was for the miners to group up--making it even easier for gankers to find targets.

Agent Ilonna went on to gank the miners at will...

On occasion, members of the mighty CODE. alliance did likewise.

RebelKiwi didn't know how to lead her legions of highsec miners. So she did the next best thing: She foamed at the mouth.

Unable to take the pressure of her grueling leadership responsibilities, RebelKiwi left xxXSalvationXxx in favor of another highsec carebear corp. And as for xxXSalvationXxx? It continues to engage in mass-recruitment in highsec. Our Agents are advised to consider their members unarmed and extremely bot-aspirant.



    1. You sell yourself on grinder?

      Dammn miner, just buy a permit.

    2. hey Karma maybe we should remind them of what the definition of insanity is?

  2. It can't be nice feeling so angry all the time. RebelKiwi should have immediately obeyed commands to calm down, for her own benefit.

    Agent Ilonna has done a terrific job punishing these undesirables.

    All miners must continue to be made to suffer.

    1. Given the low calibre leadership from this illiterate kiwi, surely the poor newbs have suffered enough? A Code campaign to liberate these lost souls from their oppressive scam overlords perhaps? We are the good guys after all.

    2. and everyone thought I was the mentally unstable one... sheesh.

  3. I bet in the end buying permits for all the members would have been much cheaper. I am really looking forward how this turns out.


  4. Ilonna was very young, only couple of days old. Yet she played the game like it was intended to. No years of training, no years of grind. No omega. No supercarriers, no titans, no null sov. Just mighty load of fun. Instantly.

    I saw that. Astero hanged 200 or so km from NPC station near container. Yes, one can warp to containers. It was magnificent strike, fast and efficient solo.

  5. It's one thing to be indignant if you have a workable plan. These 'bears are kneejerk indignant—they blindly grope around after the fact for a solution, only to come up shit out of luck because they're too lazy and uncreative. They resort to behaving like a bunch of sullen teenagers, which is a pretty sad fate for any immortal capsuleer. Highsec miners truly are the dregs of society.

    1. Lawrence

      I need to renew the 14 mining permits you sold me. As you are currently on sabbatical, to whom should I send the ISK in your absence?

    2. i will renew your permissions agent ALT00, i think its in lawrence interest.

    3. Alt 00

      Retirement is in full effect. Pick an Agent who's not too much of a Schrödinger.

    4. If I invest the 140,000,000 ISK into New Order shares, could I simply renew the permits?

    5. my reliability is outstanding within the new order

  6. All that bot and semi-bot armadas are the reason why servers struggle with performance. On the other hand they add literally zero content to game world. That's why they should be removed.

    They are the reason, for example, why walking in stations was removed. I know that CCP claims otherwise, but that's not true, feature existed and was functional (more or less), excuse me, but "nobody used it, so we cut it" is not sentient, no reasons to do like that. More likely "we cut it to improve server performance and ease load".

    I miss walking. It was nice and immersive little feature.


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