Monday, September 23, 2019

Parental Advisory, Part 1

Oh, dear. Another unlicensed, untanked miner. I wonder what the excuse will be this time?

Richard The-Crusader was caught violating the Code. By the time Richard returned to his keyboard, he had his story all lined up.

The miner threw his son under the bus in record time. And he certainly wasn't the first to do so.

In fact, it's quite common for a highsec miner to blame his children for a gank...

...Even newborn babies are not immune from this sort of treatment.

Sometimes, one can't help but wonder whether the only reason carebears have children is so that they have someone to blame for their Code violations.

Nevertheless, the sins of the father must be dealt with. That's where our Agents enter the picture.

If you're old enough to have a child, you're old enough to buy a permit. That's the law. Miners, our Agents aren't interested in sitting around all day talking about how much your son sucks at EVE. They want the 10 million isk you owe.

Our Agents noticed that Richard asked a lot of questions. Maybe he was stalling.

Richard's son was a lowly miner, but Richard himself--if his "main" ever made itself known--had powerful friends in nullsec: The dreaded Fraternity. alliance. Scary!

The miner stepped on one Miner Bingo square after another.

Whether or not he actually had any children, Richard most definitely had some crazy ideas in his head. Our Agents prepared themselves for what could be their greatest challenge yet.

To be continued...


  1. Who the hell let's his impressionable children spend their time in EVE mining in high sec?!?

    Not a good father at all. I guess it does take a village to raise a child... if the parents are that neglectful.

    Thank goodness that village has Agents looking after it!

    Make Akiainavas Great Again!

  2. Whenever you read the asshat screech, you know you are dealing with ag.

    Salah al lost the plot will confirm.

  3. I'm so scared of Frat.
    Thanks God they're going extinct soon ;p

    1. LOL. The response of powerful friends in nullsec will always be, "What the fuck are you still doing in highsec, asshat? Is this why you missed our last CTA?"

  4. These miners don't understand what EVE is about. They act like highsec is a zone to be exploited for personal gain. It's actually a place to buy a permit and praise James 315. Miners should be over the moon at each load mined without being ganked.

    1. They want security, but they aren't willing to pay taxes...


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