Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Parental Advisory, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Unlicensed miner Richard The-Crusader was brought to justice by the mighty CODE. alliance. But Richard claimed total innocence: He blamed all of his unlawful mining activities on his good-for-nothing son!


According to Richard, his son was responsible for every foolish decision that the "Richard The-Crusader" character had made. Richard's only crime was trying to make his son happy.


The rebellious miner further weakened his case for reimbursement by suggesting that our Agents might be pedophiles.


But Richard's objections to his son becoming a ganker revealed another problem: He was so suspicious that he presumably cautioned his son against joining any corporation. As we all know, this sort of thing has a negative impact on retention rates!


Once again, the rebel hinted at the possibility of bringing a fleet of Fraternity. ships into highsec to shut down CODE. Apparently his "main" had a lot of influence on Fraternity.'s foreign policy. When he wasn't AFK mining in a rookie system, that is.


Though it might take Fraternity. some time to fully mobilize for a highsec campaign, Richard had some other weapons in his arsenal.


Of course, the New Order cannot be defeated by isk. In any case, highsec miners tend not to have much of it. And when they do, they prefer not to spend their money on a "cause".


As expected, Richard quickly rescinded his threat to put bounties on our Agents. Another victory!


Agent Xeux picked up the thread that Richard had left dangling when he refused to allow his son to join a ganking corp. Was this miner admitting that he wanted his son to play EVE as a solo game?


Richard quickly clarified that his son was free to join any organization that didn't demand ransoms or protection money. That's how you avoid the creeps and weirdos in EVE.


If this conversation continued for much longer, Richard might run out of Miner Bingo squares. Then what?


Nevertheless, our Agents remained confident that they could persuade the miner to see reason. For the good of his whole family.


...But a miner this stubborn wouldn't embrace the Code so easily.

To be continued...

12 comments:

  1. I'm about to get a BINGO.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I "BINGO" every time some RL shitter starts lying about their RL profession.


      What are the odds of so many lawyers and doctors and mensa members actually being highsec mining alts with elite nullsec pvp mains?!?!

      Why does a game like EVE, with all her years of "bad press" and nuclear meltdowns and epic pvp, still have so many double-chromosome players joining? And then acting like total shitters when someone comes along and PvP's them.

      Is it not obvious to anyone yet that any reaction other than "gf" is gonna result in the total lampooning of the reactionary party?

      And yet here they are, doctors, lawyers, and mensa members the lot.

      I sure hope EVE can survive the carebear invasion.

      Delete
    2. What about killing a Retriever can be called a "good fight?"

      Its shooting fish in a barrel. Nothing elite PVP about that, just lame. Heroically lame in fact.

      Delete
    3. Miner, you are required to have a permit to post here. Please purchase one from one of the agents, and repeat your question after that. It only costs 10 million isk for a full year!

      Delete
    4. What about killing a retriever can NOT be called a good fight?

      Another dead highsec shitter just makes EVE healthier. gtfo with your space honor, if you die in highsec and then fail to give a 'gf' in local you are part of the problem.

      The dude that killed you is part of the solution to that problem. A final solution you might say.

      If you want to have an opinion about EVE, you need to leave highsec first. Hiding in high sec to mine risk free isk negates all your arguments.

      But since you will never leave high sec, you should probably get a permit,

      Or get rekt.

      Delete
    5. Anon 5:50 Why would I buy a permit? In game CODE are now so weak your agents only infect a few systems. CODE is simply not a threat to my daily game play. The ganking of industrial ships is nothing to do with the CODE and all about the isk.

      Delete
    6. Yet here you are crying again.

      Daily in fact about a group who you claim do not bother you.

      I call bullshit.

      Stay mad.

      Delete
  2. North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing this miner says makes sense. Children have no place playing EVE. ISK can't hurt the New Order. An organization of pedophiles would be a lot more welcoming than we are. A pirate would definitely engage in extortion. And there's no way a lawyer would be this dumb. If he is indeed raising a son, the son was most likely sired by a better man.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "well can't be worse than in your hands tbh"

    Someone just got totally REKT!!!

    ReplyDelete

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