Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Why Do Miners Lie So Much?

Allow me to present to you, dear reader, a hypothetical situation. It's an outlandish one, but never mind that. Just go with me on this.

Imagine that you are a concert pianist. One day, while you are practicing the piano, a bratty 12 year-old enters the studio. It is clear from his appearance and demeanor that this kid lives in his mother's basement. Worse yet, he is unmistakably a Nazi--right down to the Swastika armband he wears. Without bothering to introduce himself, the young Nazi tells you that the piano is lame and that you should become a drummer in a rock band instead. What is your reaction?

No doubt you have plenty of ideas. But allow me to paint a picture of how you certainly wouldn't respond:

While still sitting at the piano, you indignantly tell the child, "I am not a pianist. I don't play the piano. I am a drummer in a rock band--a famous rock band. I have lots of rock star friends, too." When he expresses his skepticism, you make increasingly desperate and embarrassing efforts to convince him that your lie is the truth.

Absurd, right? Of course it is. No one in his right mind would respond this way.

Highsec miners frequently accuse our Agents of being Nazis--of being Hitler himself. Or they'll compare our Agents to Stalin or Kim Jong Un or any number of unsavory personalities. Miners also claim that our Agents are 12 year-olds who live in basements. They make every effort to stress the fact that they have absolutely no respect for our Agents whatsoever.

Then they try to win our Agents' favor by lying to them.

It's no secret that highsec miners lie a lot. It's generally their first impulse. And they tell all sorts of lies. There's the lie of the Self-Denying Miner:

...And countless lies of the "I wasn't AFK, I was just..." variety:

Miners who lie about disobeying the Code are, often, transparently angling for reimbursement isk. We can also ascribe a profit motive to the 10-year veteran of the game who whines about new players and "new returning players". But surely miners can't all think that they're going to be given free money by the very people who gank miners. Do the rebels really think that members of the mighty CODE. alliance go around all day handing out isk to unlicensed miners? If they did believe that, they wouldn't hate CODE. so much.

We also frequently see miners lying about having powerful friends in nullsec. These are obvious efforts to intimidate our Agents. The list goes on and on. Yet all the lies have one thing in common. Whether they lie about their age, about their friends, about not being a miner, or about not disobeying the Code, all of these miners are trying in some way to make themselves look better to the Agents who gank them.

It's clear, then, that no matter how committed the anti-Code rebel is, no matter how much he claims to despise and be disgusted by all gankers and everyone associated with the Code... the miners care. They want our respect. Our approval.


Because a bot-aspirant is not a bot. Not yet, anyway. This means that there is some small sliver of humanity that remains in him. It may be buried--yes, so deeply buried as to be almost undetectable, maybe unrecognizable even if detected--but it's there. And that humanity must rage against the bot. The rage of a rat in a cage, but still.

So there is conflict within the highsec miner. On some level, deep down, there is a great turmoil. No wonder he says he needs to mine to "relax"!

In short, the highsec miners know they're wrong. They know our Agents are right. Too weak to resist their own bot-aspirancy, the miners make themselves miserable. When an Agent comes knocking--the very picture of what the miner knows he ought to be--the miner can't help but try to cover up his shame.

Miners, you don't need to live like this. The Code and a better life--a better you--await you.

Alternatively, you could quit EVE and play some other game. But then there are CCP's subscription revenues to think of.


  1. The Savior and our benevolent spiritual leader took us for a terrifying journey into the dark and sinister depths of the miner psyche. His wisdom and The Code shielded us form most of the malignant influence of such a surreal voyage, but it still was a shocking experience.

    The thought that there are people living without The Code in highsec greatly pains all empathic agents.

  2. So the fragment of humanity within the miner is desperately seeking the approval of our Agents, but his bot-aspirant "cage" fiercely limits what he can say. Like he has a split personality and the human part is being subsumed. He is a sorry fellow, isn't he?

  3. When James first described the Nazi who lives in dear mother's basement, desperately scrounging for isk underneath the couch, I thought for a moment He was talking about me! I wondered in earnest, "Is this how James truly sees me? Am I merely an armband wearing stooge, enforcing His will upon High Sec by crushing the miners beneath my polished jackboot?"

    However, I then realized the frightful apparition was merely a projected reflection of the miner's own twisted soul! It is not that I am violating its rights by suggesting it stop playing the piano, but rather it is violating my rights by forcing me to witness its endless dirge.

    Today, this revelation really hit home when I killed a neo-Nazi hulk:


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