Sunday, February 23, 2020

Kills of the Week

It has been a dark time for unlicensed carebears in highsec. By contrast, for our Agents, it has been a splendid time. There is no darkness for our Agents; their path is illuminated by the explosions of the bot-aspirants they kill--and by the ever-brilliant light of the Code. It's enough to make you wonder why anyone would choose to be an unlicensed carebear. Like these Goofuses from the week of February 16th @ 00:00 EVEtime through February 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Take a look at this ship. Jakques DeMolay actually undocked in this, thinking it was enough to protect his 6 billion isk worth of cargo. In fact, he felt so safe that he activated his autopilot and went AFK. Agents Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Votre Dieu had no difficulty bringing him to justice.

Oh no, all those surveys...

There's no place in highsec for the likes of Ophir. Not while he's traipsing around in a billion isk Hulk. Agents Alyth Nerun and Ima Wreckyou only needed to use two Catalysts to undo countless hours of Ophir's highsec mining. So much for all that traipsing.

Uedama has become an exciting place, thanks to the Kusion and Tax Collector families. Nick Osada found himself at the center of excitement when his AFK freighter was attacked by more than two dozen Catalysts. Agents Jacob Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Josh Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Fuemi, Joseph Kusion, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Yuna, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jason Kusion, Australian Excellence, and Josiah Kusion had a wonderful time teaching Nick to obey the Code.

mint 01's 4 billion isk Rattlesnake was blingy enough to attract the attention of Uedama's hosts. They had plenty of Catalysts to spare, so they tossed about 40 of them at the Rattlesnake. Well done, Agents Australian Excellence, Jake Kusion, Tax Collector Yuna, Justin Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Jason Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Kimi, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector Shardani, Johnathan Kusion, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Aruka, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Taxman Daniel, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Jonas Kusion, Jack Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Jeffery Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector BokChoy, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Thomas the Embezzler!

Rouge Grenouille was one of the many freighter pilots who got ganked in Uedama this week. Agent Australian Excellence was able to destroy Rouge's 2.3 billion isk pod before she awakened. This, obviously, provided further evidence of the carebear's crimes. And they were serious crimes, but... Here's the thing: Rouge's pod was not the Podkill of the Week.

Agent Aaaarrgg knows what I'm talking about.

Egads! Trojan Pandora lost a jaw-dropping 9.4 billion isk worth of implants when his naked pod went AFK in Niarja of all places. As luck would have it, Agent Aaaarrgg happened to be in the Niarja system--the very same Aaaarrgg who has killed 15,000 pods on his main character alone.

According to Aaaarrgg, this is the most expensive pod he has ever destroyed. This is a message to every carebear who has a Pashan's Turret Customization Mindlink: Our Agents are looking for you, and they will find you. Don't say you weren't warned.


  1. That Hulk pilot losing over 1billion in one highsec gank is still not as idiotic as minergreer thinking he could be an Agent.

    No shitters allowed, willieP!

    1. By end of day tomorrow he'll try to strike back with some lame version of "I know you are but what am I". Just look back through his comments, you'll see it. When the anons called him triggered, he spent 2 days after that calling everyone else triggered, as he tried to respond to every comment...

      His mind is weak and his comebacks lame, he can't even do limericks right ffs. Total braindead trailer park loser. The last dumbass to dox himself on this site was foxbolt I believe, and he was no shit RL mental. Even then he had enough sense to leave and not come back under his own name.

      Even foxbolt was smarter than willie.

    2. tell me how u really feel durr

    3. Dumber than Foxbolt? That's a scathing indictment indeed.


  3. I find the comments in this web forum to be A BIT TOO MUCH, and I hereby demand that this forum be CLOSED.

    1. Haha, China is angry that the truth was exposed here on, and they are trying to censor us!!

    2. i thanking for free speeching on, my goverment lie and say wu flu not real, but i learn truth of wu flu and william greer here from free citizens of high sec

    3. Good day miner!

      I'm a High-executive Anon and Premiere Herald of James 315! The Savior often asks me if I'd volunteer for moderating this blog, but I always have to remind Him of His teachings that I shouldn't do services for your miner kind for free.

      But if you could sponsor this commendable initiative with a mere 2 billion isk every month, I'd be game! You'd instantly notice the improved comment-quality!


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