Wednesday, February 19, 2020

We Expect You to Do Better, Part 1

When you're an Agent of the New Order, you frequently get salt delivered to your inbox.

The salty carebear in question was Deen Ume, who was angry enough about losing an empty pod that he sent some tears to Agent Katy Melons.

Katy tested the miner by speaking the name of the Saviour of Highsec. The carebear's anger was further inflamed.

Agent Katy is known throughout highsec for her absolute confidence in the Code--and for her sincere desire to help bad EVE players get better.

Our Agent would not accept Deen's bad attitude and bot-aspirant ways. So she told him the truth.

There are so many things wrong with this EVEmail. It's essentially distilled wrongness. Why does CCP allow this to go on?

They say every time a carebear challenges the mighty CODE. alliance to leave highsec, another nullsec dweller loses his carrier.

In the face of Deen's outrageous bot-aspirancy, Katy kept her cool. She stuck to the facts, like our Agents do.

Deen was chastened: He hadn't known about the New Order Outreach Division, and it made him fearful. But instead of agreeing to follow Katy's instructions, the miner continued spouting his nonsense.

Each time the miner said something foolish, Katy replied by serving up more Code-verified truths. Under such conditions, how long could Deen remain a Goofus?

Time would tell.

To be continued...


  1. What is it that makes someone want to play a "sandbox PVP MMORPG" (CCP's own description of the game) and not pvp, not rpg, and then try to play solo?

    CCP should program the highsec NPC miners to sell their ore in Jita, and change the tax rate of NPC and non-sov holding corporations to 90%, that would help drain the highsec swamp.

  2. He doesn't 'have time' to pay 100% attention to the game? He's doing it wrong..... carebears have 0% clue.

  3. Progress Quest is the ideal game for highsec miners:

  4. William R. Greer is a cybercriminal from a trailer in Pearl River, who conducted an illegal DDOS attack against a website protected under the auspices of the Budapest Convention.


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  6. Honestly, X3 is a great game, and looks stunning with the newest mods. There's mining, there's industry, there's trading, building an empire, controlling whole fleets. There's a story in there somewhere, factions, hundreds of ships and dozens of ships classes, from tiny fighters to huge capitals. You can AFK and increase the game speed whenever you want. I don't understand why a carebear would go to a MMORPG centered around PVP and then play it as a single player economic simulator.

  7. DDOS attacks are a federal crime in violation of international law. The fact that William Greer of Pearl River was unsuccessful has no relevance. An attempted bank robbery is still a serious offense. The fact of the matter is he had the culpable attempt and mens rea, proceeding to engage in illegal activity which he celebrated and glorified as a response to losing his Orca. Not only should he be arrested and through in Google State Prison, but he also violated the EULA by harassing other players in an out of game forum.

    1. Don't forget that he also violated the TOS of this website, from which he was explicitly banned, and the illegal accessing of a computer network is itself an additional federal crime!

  8. 25 to Life in Google State... man, all that over an Orca? I hope he likes adsense popups, cuz that's all he's gonna be doing once they deport him to Bangalore.


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