Legends Never Die

What happens when a Code enforcer somehow--for whatever inexplicable reason--gets banned from EVE? The answer is that he becomes even more powerful. He gains immortality. He becomes a legend--even more legendary than he already was.

Agent AGBee 001 is referring, of course, to September 10, 2014. On this infamous date, several Agents of the New Order (among others) found themselves caught up in a strange and unnatural wave of permabans, which were apparently related to the Bonus Room scandal. Since then, September 10th has become a day of remembrance and victory for all Agents who have been permabanned--just as Armistice Day evolved into Veterans Day.

You may click each of AGBee 001's 15 icons below. The full-size versions are special, as you will see. These are not mere static images; like our permabanned martyrs, they are alive.

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Heroes. Heroes all. May all of EVE continue to draw strength from them.

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Seventy-Two Billion in Shares Sold

Onward to victory! The New Order's energy is limitless; we never stop marching.

Ambitious young shareholder William Rageclaw upgraded his holdings yet again. His purchase of 3,150 additional shares sent us past the 1,869, 1,870, and 1,871 billion isk marks and earned him a Triple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ to add to his growing collection of Supreme Protector's Tips of the Hat™.

Drayven Inrik has some good instincts, I think: He judged that now was an excellent opportunity to become a New Order shareholder. (He was right; it's always an excellent time to become one of our shareholders--or to buy additional shares.) Drayven purchased 1,000 shares, guaranteeing that he would bring us to the 1,872 billion isk mark and earn a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Now what? Still onward!

No Salvation, Part 1

A ping rang out across highsec.

Someone working for the CEO of xxXSalvationXxx fired off a spam advertisement to everyone whose name she could scrape from local or public channels.

xxXSalvationXxx targeted every new player in sight and promised "benefits". Of course, the corp promised wonderful things to all of the non-new players, too. I mean, according to this EVEmail, everyone in EVE should join xxXSalvationXxx. There's really no reason for the game to have any other corporations, to be honest.

All of the familiar red flags waved proudly in the air. Was this another den of bot-aspirancy?

In fact, highsec is filled with corps just like xxXSalvationXxx. They welcome new and old players to do anything or nothing. All that matters is that the corp gets as many people as possible to join.

Most such corps fail immediately. But others grow at an alarming rate. Buoyed by the anti-awox and anti-wardec "features", xxXSalvationXxx quickly added hundreds of players to its ranks.

At some point after the previously posted spam advertisement went out, RebelKiwi became the CEO of xxXSalvationXxx. Who was she, and what were her intentions for highsec?

Later, the corp updated its description to make extravagant promises about its leadership and ever-present mentors. Surely this wasn't like all of those other carebear-exploiting corps that bring people in and fleece them for taxes--and ore at sub-Jita prices.

Highsec industrialist and permit-owner Shi Ai received one of the spam mails. Irritated and suspicious, she reported to xxXSalvationXxx's public channel to meet with one of the "electric mentors".

Aside from the automatically generated welcome message written by RebelKiwi, the channel was a tomb. Maybe everyone was AFK.

A sign of the times: People now threaten to report "griefers" to the mighty CODE. alliance.

Shi Ai was convinced that xxXSalvationXxx was engaged in mass-recruitment for the sole purpose of harvesting new players for taxes. The channel's janitor was uninterested in persuading her otherwise.

The conversation ended; the corp member said nothing to assuage Shi Ai's concerns. And so she decided to ask CODE. to investigate.

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

All around us, voices proclaim, "EVE is dying!" If it were true, we know what we would do: enforce the Code. And if EVE had a thousand years left, we know what we would do: enforce the Code. So, regardless, it should be pretty obvious what's going to happen in highsec. And the carebears still whine about not being "warned". Ha!

From the week of September 1st @ 00:00 EVEtime through September 7th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

KILLMAIL

It's an unbelievable crime that in 2019, the carebears' Marauders are only getting blingier. Zx-Tx didn't need to suffer a freighter gank to lose 7.8 billion isk; he only needed to go AFK in his Kronos! Agents Ralliana, Miner Slayer, GimmeCash Maker, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, TroubleShooter Maker, and Luna Nightblood looked at this carebear's blingy modules and immediately foresaw a juicy killmail in their future.

KILLMAIL

Do Hum had 5 billion isk and was apparently in quite a hurry to lose it. Look at that fit: There's a little bit of everything--or, you might say, a little bit of nothing. What was she thinking? Agents Luna Nightblood, Ralliana, and GimmeCash Maker ganked the bot-aspirant hauler pilot to find out:

Sounds like quality content. You won't get a scare like that in WoW Classic.

KILLMAIL

If you're a bot-aspirant miner who uses an Orca in highsec, you've probably been hearing some interesting things about the Assistance Group alliance. Now freighters are beginning to hear the same wonderful things. Kono Tanuki was ambushed by a massive Catalyst fleet consisting primarily of Assistance Group pilots. Agents AGBee 911, Geronimo Wilson, Krominal, Alleil Pollard, Chad Thundercaulk, Neelee, AGBee 513, Aiko Danuja, AGBee 225, Shouka, AGBee 227, AGBee 400, Krenima, Krossinaken, Ritina, AGBee 226, Kalypso Kerreria, Katrl, AGBee 223, Ukit, Kroppina, Siepy, Whadda Badasaz, AGBee 224, AGBee 222, AGBee 221, Karlaina, AGBee 001, AGBee 228, Keraina Talie-Kuo, Krominal, AGBee 229, AGBee 230, Ganky, Kibbera, Momiroi, and Estrea showed off their fleet and gave the freighter a sample of their antimatter supply. Seems like a good time was had by all.

KILLMAIL

All the capacitor in the world couldn't save Anarra ShadowSong's 4 billion isk Nestor from everyone's favorite family of Code enforcers. Agents Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, and Jack Kusion demonstrated once again why the remote reppers are always the first to die.

KILLMAIL

Bowfeather Madullier of the Bergmann Empire alliance attempted to use a blingy Skiff in a lowsec asteroid belt. He was no doubt shocked to find himself under attack by Agent IllumuIll Estemaire, who flies under the banner of the mighty CODE. alliance. In fact, Bowfeather's alliance had been targeted for its bot-aspirant activities in highsec--and there was no place in the EVE galaxy where any of them could hide.

CODE. wins again! Always! Again!

KILLMAIL

Evjoriy Kondrashov lost a billion isk Orca, and then she lost three times that much. Agent AGBee 223 caught Evjoriy's pod, which made no attempt to escape after the Orca gank. An Orca with an AFK pilot? What a surprise!

That's one less ORE Mining Director Mindlink floating around out there. A good day for highsec, I'd say.

Phantom Menace, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Minx Mattel was celebrating a well-earned victory when she found herself berated by Kasakabe Anzomi. The miner accused Minx of "PK'ing" (as if that's a bad thing) and of not following her own Code.

Agent Minx tried to reason with the space lawyer, but she found herself losing track of all the complaints being sent to her EVEmail inbox.

It seemed as though each time Minx explained EVE to Kasakabe, the miner fired back with two more angry messages. Nothing was getting through.

Our Agent decided to refer the matter to the New Order at large. She invited Kasakabe to join the MinerBumping channel.

Though she had some reservations about the venue, Kasakabe saw little choice but to accept Minx's invitation. After all, there were few other places she could go to argue about the New Order's reimbursement policies.

Kasakabe was a novice space lawyer. She opened her case by insulting the Agents who had so graciously agreed to judge her. A rookie mistake!

Tellingly, the miner refused to answer a question about whether she owned a permit. Since her bio lacked a permit, of course, everyone knew the answer. Still, our Agents prefer to hear a confession directly from the miner's mouth.

The core of Kasakabe's case was based around her ill-considered reliance on the Phantom Provision.

...Needless to say, Kasakabe wasn't breaking any new ground there. (For people who engage in "mining", they rarely do.)

Kasakabe had in her hand a list of the Code provisions that Agent Minx supposedly violated by ganking her. The miner quoted the Code, but there was no power in it; she didn't know what she was talking about. If only she had set aside part of each day to read MinerBumping. It's not like she lacked spare time.

Kasakabe's case drew the attention of more and more Agents. So far, though, there was no evidence that she actually listened to any of them. What a wasted opportunity for her.

Nevertheless, the more the miner spoke, the more that her particular problems and misunderstandings came to light.

For a brief moment, Kasakabe stopped ignoring the truth that was slapping her in the face.

...But she dared not part with any of her isk. She dismissed her entire career in EVE so far as "filler". And anyone who interacted with her spaceships was a dreaded "PK'er".

Kasakabe revealed herself to be a classic case of the Manipulator. She urged our Agents to abandon the Code and engage in random acts of ganking--the kind that leaves no impression on anyone. Properly categorized and filed away in the system, there was nevertheless a loose end dangling from the Kasakabe matter. Who had brainwashed this young miner? It was only a matter of time before our heroes would find out.

Phantom Menace, Part 1

Teaching a highsec miner to become Code-compliant is a process. A long process, sometimes.

Not too long after joining EVE, Kasakabe Anzomi was ganked by Agent Ender Shardani. Judging by her fit, she needed a lot of teaching and instruction. Kasakabe joined a corporation, but her corpmates obviously didn't provide any of that.

Two months later, Kasakabe was ganked again. In all that time, she'd barely evolved. If anything, she was even more vulnerable to ganks.

It was time for Agent Minx Mattel to step in. As much as she enjoyed ganking Kasakabe, our Agent knew she'd get even more enjoyment from teaching the miner to obey the Code. Still, though--why hadn't Kasakabe learned anything yet? Something was missing.

Kasakabe belonged to an innocent-sounding corp called xxXSalvationXxx. Remember that name for later, readers.

Agent Minx sent the miner the famous "casualty in the War for High Sec" EVEmail originally written by Agent Lewak. It is a time-tested icebreaker.

When the miner returned to her keyboard, she fired off the kind of reply that one might expect from a space lawyer. Rather than handing over the required 10 million isk, she sought to put Minx on the defensive.

Before we continue, I would like to address this "PK" business, as it is a term used frequently by Kasakabe. It refers to "Player Killing", i.e. PvP. You may have encountered the term before; some of our Agents are members of the PKing Since Pong alliance, for example.

Agent Minx was all business. Code enforcers do not allow themselves to be pushed around by space lawyers or anyone else.

In theory, all of Kasakabe's talk about PK'ing should've been a good thing. After all, it was a tacit admission that our Agent was engaged in PvP--something most bot-aspirant miners refuse to acknowledge. But this particular miner seemed to think that PK'ing was a bad thing. She spat it out like a pejorative.

In response to Kasakabe's nonsense, Minx did a little ghost-busting: She zapped the Phantom Provision and called it out for what it was.

Now there was nowhere left for the miner to hide... Right?

But this space lawyer had no intention of giving up the ghost--or her 10 million isk.

To be continued...