Legacy of Lahnius, Part 1

In the Nakugard system, an anti-Code carebear was barking.

On occasion, someone who does not approve of the Code will attempt to warn his fellow rebels of an impending gank. It doesn't work. The rebels never did figure out how to alert AFK miners who don't watch local.

The barking rebel in question, a fellow named Lahnius, should've known better. He's been at this for years.

Agent shootyou longtyme had no trouble ganking his target. And, frankly, our Agent didn't mind the publicity. But the name Lahnius sounded familiar to him. Who was Lahnius, again?

A quick Google search revealed that Lahnius was the star of a 24-part epic on MinerBumping. In case you don't have time to go back and read all 24 parts, here's a quick recap:

Lahnius develops an unhelpful obsession with Agent Alt 00...

Lahnius goes mad...

Finally, an ecstatic rant culminating in the rebel's comeuppance...

KABOOM! Lahnius loses everything; the Code always wins. Now you're up to speed, dear reader.

Lahnius didn't fully appreciate the "Tapestry of Tears" series. Nor did he approve of Agents linking it in local a year after its publication. Lahnius did have a supporter, though: Hoo Jorgan.

One element of the Tapestry of Tears I didn't mention: Lahnius' corp consisted of his alts. He carried on conversations with them in local like sock puppets.

Lahnius' alts always laughed at his jokes.

After all this time, Lahnius hadn't changed. His mad rants and the laughter of his alts echoed across Nakugard.

But perhaps the Tapestry of Tears did affect Lahnius in some way. He didn't want his EVE career to be defined by a series of MinerBumping posts. The anti-Code rebel had something to prove.

To be continued...

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Eighty-One Billion in Shares Sold

Another victory for the Code:

Aiko Danuja was motivated to purchase 300 additional shares, which took us to the 1,881 billion isk mark. One thousand eight hundred eighty-one billion isn't too shabby. At any rate, Aiko's purchase earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™--and that's not shabby at all.

However, this stock purchase comes with a twist:

What is all this, you ask? Agent Aiko was recently approached by a stranger who asked her to gank a particular miner. He was willing to pay for the service. A bounty was offered.

EVE already has a bounty system, of course. In fact, it's had two bounty systems, and neither of them really worked as intended. The second bounty system, which has been in place since the "Crimewatch" patch of 2012, at least has the virtue of funneling a bunch of isk to our Agents.

Let's backtrack to when Brenin Kane made his bounty offer:

Brenin identified Alaxander Price as the target. Here is Alaxander's Twitch stream.

Aiko was very skeptical, but Brenin paid up front. Brenin claimed he would invest additional bounty funds if Alaxander--who has been known to conduct illegal mining operations on stream--gets ganked.

This system, to me, makes more intuitive sense than the in-game version(s). In particular, it seems logical for people to make payments to our Agents up front. That way, dishonest miners cannot offer bounty contracts and then default on them.

Alaxander awaits his fate.

The Best Revenge, Part 7

Previously, on MinerBumping... Ambitious miner anaCheeya ANARKY biomassed himself and was reborn as aiva naali. He hoped to get his null sec nomads corp accepted into Goon space. Scratch that--he hoped to get his null sec nomads corp, period. For the corporation was held in trust by some friends until a series of security checks were performed. Said security checks were vital, too, as it turned out the miner was more dangerous than anyone imagined.

anaCheeya/aiva had given most of his worldly possessions to his new friends. In the meantime, he was determined to rebuild. He managed to progress from losing Ventures to losing Retrievers. Still, he was stuck in highsec.

Ironically, he was ganked by members of Goonswarm Federation. They must have stumbled upon him by luck.

While the security checks continued, aiva kept busy by coming up with improvements for his "skank trap" concept. Once perfected, it could alter the balance of power in nullsec.

One way or another, aiva managed to get his hands on some new ships. But this meant that aiva's friends needed to take possession of them.

Agent Aiko Danuja agreed to look after aiva's stuff while things got sorted out with the Goons.

aiva considered himself an expert trader. True to form, he manged to strike a fair deal with Aiko.

But there was more. In addition to the "skank trap", aiva had an even more intriguing--and deadly--project in the works.

Although carriers have long been used by nullsec alliances for both PvP and PvE, aiva managed to see what everyone else had missed.

"Project Muse" would be aiva's most powerful invention yet. The unassuming highsec miner was about to be crowned EVE's greatest theorycrafter.

Despite his paltry in-game income, aiva had some expensive tastes. In particular, he was addicted to skill injectors. aiva's friends had their concerns, but they didn't ask questions.

As anaCheeya, the miner had called himself the "kingpin". As aiva, he was "lil bullet". This was a miner in a hurry to prove himself. And he was about to amaze Agent Aiko with his speed and cunning.

Then again, lil bullet's fast-paced lifestyle couldn't last forever.

To be continued...

The Best Revenge, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... anaCheeya ANARKY found himself tied up in red tape. Hoping to bring his null sec nomads corporation into Goon territory, anaCheeya was thwarted by the Goons' security checks. In a desperate bid to regain control of his corp, anaCheeya biomassed himself and was reborn as aiva naali.

The future didn't look so bright for anaCheeya/aiva. He yearned to command Rorqual fleets in the heart of nullsec. But for now, he was stuck mining rocks in highsec with a Venture. Until the Venture was ganked, anyway.

The first step in anaCheeya's comeback plan was to get his corp back. Unfortunately, Agent Kalorned required a fee of 500 million isk to return the corp prior to the completion of a background check.

anaCheeya didn't like all of the bureaucracy; nomads have no need of such things. But the Imperium does.

If nullsec was all about layers of bureaucracy and endless paperwork, then maybe anaCheeya needed to change his plans.

On the other hand, the miner knew that nullsec was where the best ore was to be found. Greed overtook him.

In any event, a mere 500 million isk was nothing compared to the riches that would become available once Imperium space was opened to him.

And so anaCheeya decided to comply with the latest set of instructions. Hopefully it would be the last time he'd be required to hand over his isk.

Although it seemed like anaCheeya was spending weeks sitting around doing nothing, he was actually putting his time to good use. After studying the map of the EVE galaxy, anaCheeya discovered fatal weaknesses in the most powerful empires of nullsec.

Armed with a suspiciously high volume of skillpoints and a little bit of cartography, anaCheeya now knew how to use a relatively small fleet to destroy the Imperium. This made the ambitious miner more dangerous than Pandemic Legion and the rest of the Goons' traditional enemies.

Still, anaCheeya was no closer to getting control of null sec nomads. For now, he would need to be patient. In the meantime, the mind of the "kingpin" would devise even deadlier devices.

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

Sigh. It seems like every week is "Skill Point Week" these days. Friends, these so-called "skill points" will get you no closer to victory in EVE. For that, you're gonna need the Code. And the truth is, every week is Code Week. Always!

KILLMAIL

You know things are going badly when you've lost 4.2 billion isk before you count the five Abyssal mods on your ship (which zKillboard does not value). That's what happened to Furaibou Ikkala after he autopiloted his way toward Niarja. Agents Rungerd, Votre Dieu, Astrid Tyrfing, and Narl' Amhar executed him. I'm sure you'll agree that the punishment fit the crime.

KILLMAIL

At the end of last week, Dark Angelete parked her freighter in the Hampinen system and went AFK. This proved to be a fatal mistake, as Hampinen is located in New Order territory. So her ship attracted a gank fleet consisting of Agents Selenia Phat'kola, Apex142, space gator, LTiger007, Commander McBrag, LingWai II, Elos Haliat, Bimbler, Joshua Darkmoor, Ginger 198723 Asanari, Aaaarrgg, Troop101, djNME, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, DoesPlenty, and Pod-Goo Repairman. You don't need to go to a stargate to get your freighter killed; our Agents deliver!

KILLMAIL

Also late last week, Thadek Dash lost his 5.8 billion isk Bowhead. What went wrong? Well, the carebear did manage to tank up his ship: His mids, lows, and even rigs all made use of the Bowhead's ability to inflate its hitpoints and resistances. Yet this carebear made some serious mistakes, too. For one, he did not get a mining permit and obey the Code. For another, he went to Uedama when the Kusions were in town. Agents Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead rolled up their sleeves and went to work on the Bowhead's supposedly impervious defenses.

KILLMAIL

Capacitor tanking is still a thing, it seems. And so are ORE Strip Miners, despite being good for nothing but attracting gankers. Sexy Satan was busy mining a 0.9 security system until Agents Pod-Goo RepoWoman and Aaaarrgg showed up and taught him what Code enforcers think of ORE contraband.

KILLMAIL

Another one! Kryak Hakomairos of the ISBE Mining and Mayhem corp got a little less mining time than he bargained for--and a whole lot more mayhem. Agents Pyro Regyri, Aiko Danuja, Alleil Pollard, Shambort, and Lewak tracked him down and put his 751 million isk mining ship to death.

KILLMAIL

Remember Sexy Satan? His time in the crosshairs wasn't done when he lost his decadent Mackinaw. For he was ganked by a group of Agents who can sniff out a blingy pod from a dozen jumps away. Once the Mackinaw shell was removed, Agent Pod-Goo Repoman went in for the kill.

As a result, 3.4 billion isk was vaporized. Interestingly, Sexy Satan's implants only consisted of hardwirings; the five "main" implant slots were all left empty. That might be a first for a Pod of the Week. What a unique Goofus!