Kills of the Week

We all have a lot of fun at the carebears' expense here on MinerBumping, but at the end of the day, there are some things that we all have in common. Whether you're for the Code or whether you're a Goofus, we can all join together and celebrate transcendent human accomplishments, like, for instance:

This week, The Conference Elite passed 10 trillion isk in damage inflicted! Everyone should be able to appreciate that. If you're anti-CODE and you can't take some pride in CODE's achievements, I don't know what your problem is.

Speaking of problems, here's a few that were solved during the week of May 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

Tormozok and more than a dozen other freighters were murdered in Uedama this past weekend. Needless to say, the carebears were taken completely by surprise. Score another victory for New Order tactical genius! Agents loyalanon, Walter Kramer, 290xanaots, Sasha Cohenberg, Aldarr Mentakk, AtreusIII, Gorila Vengaza, Jeishi Actash, Hak'im Tazla, Ammutseba Gangulur, Chocolate Mooses, Asia Leigh, MEATWAD, Lord Parallax, The Occidental, Agent 290xanaots, Komatose, Moogular, Karmafleet Is Recruiting, Evil Master, and Not So Insane were credited on this kill.

Protip: If you're trying to convince us that you're not guilty of excessive decadence, it might be a good idea not to carry 49 "Luxury Yachts" in your cargo. Just a thought.

Other lessons were to be had during this spree of freighter ganking. eMerchant's freighter resulted in this:

Carebears, when was the last time the EULA ever did anything for you? Try living in the real world for a change. Stick to the Code.

retsudsag's freighter prompted an interesting exchange, too:

Siegfried Cohenberg > you cant escape bumps
retsudsag > u wont escape my corp mates when they get here....
retsudsag > unarmed ship yall are such dicks......
Siegfried Cohenberg > why didnt
Siegfried Cohenberg > you fit any
retsudsag > freighters have none asshole
retsudsag > u know that.
Siegfried Cohenberg > they're a capital ship
Siegfried Cohenberg > where are your fighters
retsudsag > i hope ur all in one corp...
retsudsag > dick suckers.
retsudsag > my alliance will burry u

If your freighter run ends in an argument with Agent Siegfried Cohenberg instead of a successful dock, you might be doing it wrong.

KILLMAIL

Miracle in Gelhan! Andre Krings1's billion isk tech III ship was destroyed within spitting distance of the Gamis system. But it's how Agent Annah Tsero eliminated this vessel that was so impressive...

While Annah was giving props to the Code, Andre took a look at her security status (-3.2) and thought it was low enough for him to freely attack her. Almost, but almost doesn't cut it. CONCORD stepped in, and Annah jumped in to add her name to the killmail. Andre lost his dignity and some skillpoints--not that he was using them.

KILLMAIL

Lady Darkwind's covert ops was filled with an embarrassing library of BPOs. Agents Brutal Anna and Rick Therapist were concerned about their safety, since the Helios pilot preferred to autopilot rather than using the ship's cloak. They stepped in and popped the Helios. Many blueprints were recovered. According to Rick's report:

"Please kindly note Minmatar Service Outpost Platform Blueprint, which was researched to 9%. That takes approximately 2 years to achieve."

Lady Darkwind, buy a permit and start over. You'll catch up in no time. The New Order will still be here in two years.

KILLMAIL

You might think it was foolish for Thor Padecain to spend nearly half a billion isk on ORE Strip Miners for his Retriever. Probably true, but Thor really wanted to max-out his efficiency. Agent Ilithyia Borgia, noting the lack of lowslot modules and rigs, had some constructive criticism on this fit. She didn't have time to get into a discussion with Thor right at that moment, so she made a mental note by ganking him. When Thor's ready to listen, Ilithyia will be ready to teach him.

KILLMAIL

Dres Kaneerdan's mining Dominx, ganked by Agents Rick Therapist, Carebears' Nightmare, Brutal Anna, and Marina Gankalot.

Sigh.

KILLMAIL

Hey, remember when "hyperdunking" was a big deal? DeepExploratiomInc corp completely forgot about it, and they stuffed their SMA with just about everything they owned: 6 billion isk of assets. Some of you may not know this, but Agents of the New Order are renowned for their excellent memories. Agents AeleDeux and Jeni Savage grabbed several Catalysts each and hyperdunked the SMA until it was blasted to bits.

KILLMAIL

It's not easy to accumulate 5.2 billion isk worth of implants, especially when nearly all of the value comes from hardwirings. Trampis Motsu managed to do so, at least until Agent Axel Plathe came calling. Let's see how Trampis did it:

That's some decent PvP hardware. I wonder what it was used for? You guessed it--Trampis was ganked while AFK in a Mackinaw.

How a MinerBumping Post Is Made

There's no question that MinerBumping is a unique blog. In the world of gaming, there's nothing else quite like it.

MinerBumping is vital to understanding highsec. It also profoundly touches the lives of carebears who otherwise might drift through EVE without the slightest interaction with their fellow players.

Even a few minor mentions on the blog can change a carebear's trajectory. JackFrost Saissore was barely mentioned, but it altered his EVE experience forever (for the better, no doubt).

But how are MinerBumping posts created? What should an ambitious new Agent do to get featured on a post? Does MinerBumping reflect the truth of highsec, or should it leave the reader thinking, "meh, seems made up"? Today you'll get a rare, behind-the-scenes exclusive look at how an Agent report becomes an essential piece of EVE history.

Kills of the Week posts, of course, consist of the most obvious building blocks. Agents frequently send me killmails throughout the week. I review these and do some independent searching of New Order killboard stats, and then the magic happens.

Then there are Agents who send in full-fledged field reports. Sometimes an Agent will send in material along with a narrative to make it easier to follow. Other times, the logs are self-explanatory. The two most common tools used by Agents to report on their Code enforcement activity are Imgur for hosting screenshots, and Pastebin for hosting chat logs.

Although screenshots are preferred in most situations, sometimes they're not available. Luckily, the EVE client logs all chat, and the text is easily hosted in a Pastebin log.

Zosius > bio is on, you are free to go
Ellie Alvarsson > I'm actually astonished how terrible of people you are
Ellie Alvarsson > honestly
Ellie Alvarsson > I assume you put a screenshot of it on your website
Ellie Alvarsson > to show off the people you humiliate and steal from

From there, I simply grab the text as needed, cut off the timestamps, and modify the formatting for maximum readability.

As for screenshots, they may be uploaded as a single image, such as the ones you see in a Grab Bag post. If there's more than one screenshot, they may be uploaded to a small album on Imgur...

...Or, in the case of even longer conversations, a large collection of screenshots may be compiled. Then comes the editing task. As Saviour of Highsec, it is my duty to break down all of the emergent content and pare it down to easily digestible quantities.

And, of course, the most relevant portions must still be chopped up in such a way that I can interject my own thoughts after the reader takes each "bite". After all, people come to MinerBumping not only to see the truth, but also to be instructed on how best to think about the truth.

What about the integrity of this process? Should a carebear be taken seriously if they, like a reality TV villain, complain about getting a "bad edit"?

It's rare, but it occasionally happens. When a carebear presents a full log for review, it inevitably backfires. My job is straightforward: All I need to do is tell people the truth--that the CODE always wins.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #80

When you ask a miner if they can speak English, you might want to be more specific.

...Because they may only know Miner English.

Riggy Lancer demanded reparations, or else he'd have someone bring down New Order Logistics or even the whole of CODEdot. Absurd. No one has someone who can do that.

Impressive EVEmail/username combo.

...But not all miners believe I can save them from themselves. It's not unanimous yet, but we're getting closer.

A suggestion to all the carebears out there: Don't try sarcastically praising our Agents. They're too used to receiving genuine, earned praise. Your sarcasm might get lost in the mix.

Some miners say that without miners, we wouldn't have any ships. They love to play the martyr, as if we benefit from other players doing boring work. But if they're so altruistic that they perform thankless drudgery in a video game, why do they suddenly become so selfish when we ask for 10 million isk?

Unlicensed carebear Verik dra'Har reported that the contents of his MTU were confiscated by Agent Revis Owen. Verik recommended that Revis be fined 10 times the value of the goods. I rejected the advice. Instead, Revis gets a hi-five.

You know what grinds my gears? Gearbox Pedel refused to acknowledge the PvP prowess of our Agent, despite witnessing it first-hand. Fortunately, Myevil Gankalt was prepared to use logic to fix Gearbox's misconceptions about the game:

Gearbox attempted to build a retort of his own, but logic wasn't in his toolkit.

EVE legend loyalanon took some time out of his busy day to congratulate fellow PvP participant Falk Kaundur on a fight well fought. However, the miner wasn't yet calm enough to appreciate it.

Falk really lucked out. loyalanon was willing to wait for the miner to calm down. It would be a tragedy if Falk missed out on an opportunity have an intelligent conversation with a highsec celebrity.

Alas, the stars were not aligned. Falk wasn't at his best that day.

Don't knock the New Order permit system 'til you try it. Pessimism kills.

Design the CODEdot Alliance Logo

Friends, this has been a long time coming. It is time for the mighty CODE. alliance--the most talked-about alliance in EVE--to get its own in-game logo.

I know what some of you are thinking: "Didn't we already design an alliance logo, like, a long time ago?" Aye. Many, many moons ago, our artists created a bunch of logos, a shareholder vote was held, and a logo was submitted to CCP for review.

Then CCP stopped approving new alliance logos.

For various reasons related to copyright law, CCP put a temporary freeze on logo submissions. For over a year, EVE players clamored for their alliance logos. At long last, the logos are back.

"Why don't you just re-submit the previous design?"

The logo requirements have changed significantly. Among other things, the resolution has been bumped up (if you'll pardon the pun) to 512x512. So we've got to submit a new logo design. This means that all you New Order artists have a chance to become a part of EVE history. Anyone and everyone can come up with a logo and the best one will be sent to CCP. Another shareholder vote may be necessary; we'll see.

You'll have free reign to come up with a design, but the basis of the design will be the same as before.

Namely, my face.

Yes, it's the face that changed highsec. When people see a picture of my face, it reminds them of my face, which reminds them of me, which reminds them of hope and all good things.

Here's a link to the full-resolution portrait of my face. Now do with it what you will. And no, all you rebels and skeptics out there, that is not an invitation for you to be disgusting. Be a Gallant for once.

For CCP's new requirements, you can read the dev blog on the new alliance logo requirements or the EVE-O thread on alliance logos. You can also view the list of alliances with approved logos.

Submitting a logo to me for New Order review is easy: Simply upload it to Imgur and EVEmail me the link.

The winner will be celebrated on MinerBumping, or if we receive many submissions, we'll have a shareholder vote. Artists should feel free to work in teams or send in multiple submissions, if they like.

Here are CCP's "Submission Technical Requirements:"

- Logos must be submitted in 512x512 resolution.
- Formats accepted are 4 channel .PNG or .TGA with three color channels and one alpha (transparency) channel.
- DO NOT use premultiplied alpha.

If you don't know what all the channel/alpha stuff means, don't worry about it. Make a 512x512 image and if it finds favor, we'll have someone work out the details.

Because CCP is free to reject any logo it doesn't like, consider the art requirements below. The art department may not be as strict as the rules suggest, but keep them in mind. If the New Order community loves a logo and it gets rejected because it doesn't fit with the proper EVE "theme" or "colors", we'll need back-ups.

***

Design & Theme:

- Alliance logos should be designed so that they look and feel like they belong within the futuristic, dark and dystopian EVE universe.
- Logos with themes like warfare, corporations, science and space have a higher chance of approval.
- Reference to historical themes or imagery should be subtle. A well designed and modified version of a historical object that is designed to fit in the EVE Universe will in most case have a higher chance of approval than the definite interpretation of it.
- Many concept and ideas from earth have evolved or been forgotten in the EVE Universe. Remember this when designing your logo.
- Common everyday motives/objects like mobile phones, modern guns, modern vehicles that fit poorly within the genre should be avoided.

Art Style:

- Cartoon images have a lower chance of approval, but if they are well produced and follow all the other requirements, then they will more likely be approved.
- Simple flat and abstract designs fit best in the EVE setting and have a higher chance of approval. They are also more recognizable, easier to read from the distance and work better when scaled down.
- Try to use classic, modern or futuristic fonts. Fonts like Papyrus, Lucida Handwriting and Brush Script don't fit in the EVE universe.
- Use of Comic Sans will result in liberal application of spaceship violence.
- Avoid using Photoshop filters like Lens Flare, Emboss, Blur and other such filters.
- Textures should be avoided in your logo submissions.

Colors:

- Colors should be chosen within the color range used in the EVE universe. That means colors should generally not be too saturated or bright or they will look like they belong in a different color space than the ship and its surroundings.
- Try to keep color harmony in mind. Try to use analogous colors and not too many complimentary colors together.
- Punch colors/complimentary colors: sometimes a single color can be a little brighter or more saturated to make the image "pop" or look more interesting.

***

There you have it. There's no particular time limit for sending in entries. After a time, I'll post potential logos on a MinerBumping post and then maybe set a deadline for any additional submissions. Again, make a 512x512 image based on my face, upload it to Imgur, and EVEmail me the link.

Good luck! And remember, highsec is counting on you.

Super Diplomacy

You know your organization has hit the big time when it has its own diplomats. For quite a long time now, the New Order has had diplomats working around the clock. Their tireless efforts have contributed greatly to the image and reputation enjoyed by CODEdot and the New Order as a whole.

I know what all you skeptics out there are thinking: "Doesn't every wannabe corp/alliance have its own official 'diplomats'? Even the highsec industrial corps?" Maybe so, but our diplomats are different:

New Order diplomats get their hands dirty. Or clean, if you like. Agent Super Perforator went into a 1.0 system and ganked a Venture pilot during February's Venture-killing contest. Another diplomatic victory for the New Order!

The vast majority of the highsec citizenry understand the importance of destroying even the smallest Code violators. Killing Gavin Keikira's Venture was a smart move, from a diplomatic point of view. But Super Perforator wanted to go the extra mile, to convince Gavin himself that it was good he was ganked. Gavin sent a reply, hinting at revenge.

Aspiring diplomats, take note. Agent Super didn't beg for Gavin's approval. She wasn't obsequious or phony. Super Perforator is an Agent of the New Order. She let the miner know that she was in charge.

Gavin immediately withdrew his idle revenge threats and went the "didn't want that ship anyway" route. He was a bit hesitant to go all the way, though. Maybe he'd been spooked by Super volleying back his earlier spin. If Gavin had been totally committed, he would've said "this loss has already been replaced", like they say in nullsec.

Now we see some of the subtleties of Super's diplomacy. She maneuvered in such a way that Gavin backed himself into a corner: By claiming to have destroyed the ganking vessel, he couldn't whine about being someone "who can't shoot back". Brilliant!

The bully card was played. Absurd. When was the last time you met a bully who worked as a diplomat?

The New Order is resilient. Opposing us is like banging your head against a brick wall. No matter what the miner said, Super Perforator remained positive, closing each EVEmail with "Praise James!" By contrast, Gavin didn't praise me at all, despite having multiple opportunities to do so. What a Goofus.

Gavin wasn't on board yet, but at least he knew who I was. That's an important step. Only the most bot-aspirant of bot-aspirants don't know me.

Eventually, Gavin lost the willpower to continue his correspondence with our diplomat. The Venture pilot vowed to destroy our great movement. Super reassured the miner that he would be treated according to the laws and customs of highsec. Less than an hour later, Gavin purchased a new Venture and somehow got himself ganked again by some random people. I prefer to believe that Gavin got distracted, that he was preoccupied with thoughts about the Code. The New Order diplomat had given the miner much to think about.

Moderation in the Pursuit of the Code Is No Virtue

Of all the complaints I see from the bot-aspirants, my favorite may be the one that goes, "The New Order used to stand for something good, but now they've lost their way." Granted, it's an insincere complaint; it only comes from random carebears, not from people who ever actually supported the New Order at any time. Even so, the argument makes me smile, because it's pretty close to an admission of the New Order's dominance in highsec. Remember when carebears used to say the New Order didn't exist, or that the Code was a joke? Now they admit it was right all along--but claim it is corrupted.

Here we go. Elayne Feather accused our Agents of departing from the Code. Elayne went further than most in professing her support for my "original beliefs". She supported the true spirit of the Code with all her heart, she said. Caution! Carebears don't always have hearts as big as yours or mine:

Elayne's heart didn't take her very far. She had no mining permit and was caught flying an untanked Retriever. I shudder to think of what Elayne would do if her heart was less than 100% in the Code, or if she opposed us.

Elayne was caught red-handed. Instead of apologizing, she saw in her punishment a jumping-off point for a rant about the New Order and its Agents. But even on this occasion, the proud miner couldn't quite bring herself to admit that she'd lost a 39 million isk Retriever--she was "set back 25 mil".

Then Elayne confessed that it wasn't even her Retriever to begin with. Somehow I doubt she apologized to her CEO for the way she'd misused the mining barge. She probably asked for another one, and then told the CEO she had growing doubts about his leadership style.

Before Elayne wrote to me about her disappointments, she penned an essay in which she lectured some of our finest Agents about the Code.

It became clear that Elayne was one of those "moderates" you sometimes hear about. While claiming to support the Code, she had a very different vision of the Code's history. Compare it to the true history, as documented in the pages of MinerBumping and other canonical works. One can hardly recognize this kinder, gentler Code of hers! Gone was the urgency, the moral imperatives, the calls for justice, the antimatter and brimstone.

Elayne couldn't conceal her biases. The valiant warriors who bested her Retriever in mortal combat were accused of being "second rate suicide gankers". Everyone knows our suicide gankers are first rate. In any case, they were good enough to kill her.

In a few haughty paragraphs, the miner dismissed years of indispensable New Order traditions that good highsec citizens have built their lives around. Then, with the utmost disrespect, she cast down our sainted Agents. In their place, she raised up her own, utterly unorthodox views of the Code. This was turning out to be one shocking EVEmail.

Elayne's missive did not go unanswered. Agent Kalorned leapt to the task, putting the miner straight by quoting from MinerBumping posts such as the stirring conclusion to Who You Gonna Call? Part 2:

There it was. Taylor Who--the new player who had never heard about the New Order or the Code or Agents or James 315 or tank modules or any of it--showed his true colors. He admitted he'd heard about the New Order. What he heard wasn't flattering or true, but he had heard of us. Even the new miners know about the Code. The New Order's presence is too big to ignore, even for a bot-aspirant. They don't need a "warning" before they get ganked. They've already been warned. Carebears of highsec, the time for warnings is over. The time for payment has come.

Powerful stuff. Even Elayne couldn't deny it. And this is why the New Order has established such a vast educational apparatus--so that the miners of highsec are not carried away like chaff in the wind by every new heresy that comes along.

The truth is, the Code has never been soft. Our Code is not about leaving miners in peace, but driving them to submission. If they don't like it, I hear there's some good rental space out in nullsec these days.