Kills of the Week

Progress! For years, the Code has acted as a powerful engine of progress in highsec and EVE. Sadly, the bot-aspirant carebears have allowed themselves to fall behind. Instead of enjoying the benefits of the Code's progress, carebears get ganked in ridiculous ships and end up looking like relics--which they are. Soon to be extinct, by the way. From the week of April 19th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 25th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

KILLMAIL

Look at this guy. Maj Thorn put everything he had into a 50 billion isk Rattlesnake and allowed it drift AFK into Uedama. To give you an idea of how much faith Maj Thorn placed in his bling: The 50 billion price tag had little to do with his cargo; the Rattlesnake had multiple purple mods worth outrageous amounts.

It looks like everyone wanted to get in on this kill. Agents Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Tax Collector YouGonnaCry, Tax Collector Shredlord, Jacob Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector GimmeYaISK, Jimmy Kusion, Tax Collector Rika, Tax Collector NeverLoses, Jeremy Kusion, Justin Kusion, Tax Collector Coronalmao, Josh Kusion, Tax Collector ImMegaRich, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Maximus, Tax Collector ImTheBest, Tax Collector Tax Collector hahaGetDunkd, Johnathan Kusion, Tax Collector GoPlayWoWkid, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Kelly, Tax Collector Markus, Tax Collector IsNumber1, Jack Kusion, Tax Collector GetWrecked, Tax Collector hahaYourebad, Tax Collector DadPlsNo, Tax Collector YoureTrash, Tax Collector Herbert, Jonas Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Josiah Kusion, I eat RedCrayons, Australian Excellence, and Tax Collector Thnx4Loot had fleet of Catalysts stretching as far as the eye could see.

KILLMAIL

I suppose when someone else loses a Rattlesnake worth 50 billion, losing your 12.5 billion isk freighter while AFK in Niarja doesn't seem so bad. But it was cold comfort for blackfin, who probably had no idea about anything going on inside the EVE galaxy. Agents everiserater Adoudel, Rebecca Rackner, Emily Rackner, Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Celstia Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Ivy Rackner, aiva ganki, Globby Rackner, riprip10, Phoenix Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, hegils, Prion Solutions, Benji Rackner, and Vladimir Puotin rode forth in their own Catalyst fleet and put an end to blackfin's "freighter run".

KILLMAIL

Let's talk about some miners. Yes, people like Samual Issier are still losing mining ships worth over a billion isk. ORE Ice Harvesters and ORE Strip Miners are a big part of the problem. Agent Guybertini has attempted to persuade miners not to use such bling, but when talk fails, a Talos will do.

KILLMAIL

Kozmo Kramer Taranogas is perhaps the worst offender out there when it comes to blingy mining ships. As you can see, Kozmo's blingy ORE Strip Miners and blingy shield mods fattened his Skiff to an isk value of more than 2.2 billion. But that's not the worst of it. Just one day earlier, Kozmo lost a 1.3 billion isk Skiff. His solution was to fly an even more expensive one! Can anyone blame Agents IronRod Kami, Daystalker 2020, Just-Another-Code-Alt Auralis, Hillbilly-2000, Gankzie McGankFace, and Zor Q for ganking this Goofus? Kozmo lost some blingy Hulks earlier this month, too. Our Agents will be monitoring him closely.

KILLMAIL

Needless to say, this is not how a faction battleship should be treated. TraderVexxx is yet another example of the casual cruelty of the bot-aspirant miner. Agents Pod-Goo Repoman, Ulianov, Aaaarrgg, and Aaaarrggs Scout Alt felt particularly righteous when they ganked him.

KILLMAIL

Enik Gonz lost a 2.8 billion isk Nightmare in Uedama. You can probably take a guess as to the circumstances of his loss; I will simply mention that the Kusion family was involved. And as the owners of expensive implants should know, the Kusions play for keeps. Agent Josiah Kusion smartbombed Enik's pod and added another 4.4 billion isk to the butcher's bill.

Enik owned a number of fancy combat implants. I wonder if he considered himself defenseless?

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #208

Uh-oh, sounds like it's time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Hmmm... I have a suspicion about why Eris Discordiaa keeps getting ganked despite owning a permit.

No, miner, I'm pretty sure "industrial" corporations like yours are the reason why new players quit.

Typical bot-aspirant: Instead of playing one game correctly, he'd rather fail at two games simultaneously.

Even upon losing his last ship, a proper EVE player can never say he's lost all he has. For he still has his wits. And he still has his Code. Alas, Haseo midnight was not a proper EVE player. It was time for him to go.

Why would you ask me to call off my Agents, if you want to "learn the game and get better"?

Naming yourself ROONER MINER doesn't bode well for your EVE career...

Yeah, this guy's not going anywhere.

"Emerging"? If you mean emergent gameplay, that's what our Agents did.

After all these years, miners are still trying to find a way to use the bounty system against our Agents. Unsuccessfully.

Well, this EVEmail took an unfortunate turn...

Miners, if you start a message by agreeing with me, end it quickly--while you're still ahead!

Known by the Company You Keep, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Everyone claims to want more content in EVE...

...But when Big Willies PVP Madness provided some PvP madness to a member of Silent Company, the miner started crying in local. What a hypocrite!

Kalo Kion made it known that he despised his fellow Silent Company members. Even miners don't like miners.

Silent Company has grown to over twenty thousand(!) members, but its mass-recruitment campaign has come at a cost. In addition to admitting a large quantity of toxic players and leaving them to fend for themselves, an atmosphere of paranoia has taken hold.

The miners of Silent Company generally believe that their fellow members are out to get them--thus undermining the very purpose of joining together in the first place.

After making a fool of himself in local for an extended period of time, Kalo declared that he was unflappable. Nothing that happened in EVE could bother him.

...Starting now.

As usual, Kalo's Silent Company brethren sniped at him.

As Kalo questioned the validity of highsec law, Donky-Kong sensed that the miner was working himself up for an anti-Code soliloquy.

Kalo delivered. But would anyone in local chat appreciate his impassioned speech against the Code?

Alas, the miner had only done further damage to his reputation.

In the end, Kalo couldn't even earn the respect of highsec miners. Maybe he should try ganking them instead?

The gankers who had killed Kalo's Skiff didn't stick around--they didn't need to. Give a group of miners an afternoon and they'll destroy themselves.

Known by the Company You Keep, Part 1

Even in 2020, miners still act surprised when the mighty CODE. alliance shows up for permit inspection time.

Jon Maiko lost his yield-fit Skiff. He should've expected this. At the very least, he should've responded by buying a permit--and quickly!

Instead, Jon chose to whine in local on his main character, Kalo Kion.

Kalo was a member of Silent Company, which is arguably the worst alliance in EVE today. Despite its name, Silent Company is famous for its noisy, ill-mannered miners.

Kalo's outburst soon drew the attention of others in local.

It's unclear what--if anything--a whiny miner hopes to accomplish by complaining in local chat. Most likely it's a natural expression of being a Goofus.

Kalo's complaints annoyed his fellow miner, ThatFamousRapperGuy. Carebears tend to squabble with one another, but members of Silent Company are especially quick to turn against their own.

Kalo attempted to justify his tantrum by pointing to previous losses; his anger had built up over the past couple weeks.

For once, the miner was telling the truth: On his Jon Maiko character, he had been hit by the same group of gankers only a few days earlier. Maybe they were out to get him.

Then again, Kalo had also recently lost an Orca to NPCs. So he may have simply been bad at EVE.

The miner continued to pour out his rage. As his paranoia deepened, he found himself surrounded by enemies. Was there any chance he could overcome his negative mindset and embrace the Code?

To be continued...

Over Two Trillion Thirty Billion in Shares Sold

More victories to report!

Thirtyone Organism joined the ranks of the New Order shareholders with a purchase of 1,000 shares, ensuring that we would pass the 2,029 billion isk mark. Thirtyone earned a respectable Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ and the gratitude of the good people of highsec.

Next up, a report from the Black Rise region:

Yes, let us spin that roulette wheel...

Know-Nothings becomes our latest corporate shareholder with its purchase of 231 shares. For taking us past the 2,030 billion isk mark, the corp earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™--a valuable asset indeed!


BONUS!

Last month saw the conclusion of MinerBumping's Forbidden Knowledge series, in which we learned that Knowledgeminer was excommunicated from Anti-Ganking due to his opposition to the "Highsec Lobby".

Sabus Narian's so-called lobby was built around the corporation he founded, which was aptly named Incompetent and Proud. We've seen many such highsec mining corps; the most alarming thing about them is how many clueless newbies they're able to yoke before they inevitably implode.

But the more people they exploit, the greater is their fall.

Such is the failure and the shame of all who would reject the Code.