Friday, October 11, 2013

Kill Bots, Win Hearts and Minds

Each day, more and more highsec miners look upon the New Order with approval. They understand that what we do is for their own benefit.
Agent 057 > All Hail to the New Order!
Agent 057 >
Agent 057 > I will be checking permits soon.
Agent 057 > Theod Darkness you have been identified as a botter
Agent 057 > beware
ASS Backwards > did you get the botter?
ASS Backwards > tell me you can atleast kill a bot
One day in the Miah system, a group of New Order Agents led by xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 of the NEW ORDER DEATH DEALERS launched an attack against the bots and bot-aspirants.
Theod Darkness > you kill me...
Theod Darkness > plac plac plac
Theod Darkness > you are a BIG WARRIOR
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > Kill: Krassus Might (Retriever) Kill: Krassus Might (Capsule)
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > Kill: Theod Darkness (Retriever) Kill: Theod Darkness (Capsule)
Theod Darkness > big warrior
Theod Darkness > clap
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > you sir are a BOT
Anaxis Muntaine > get out of this system botter
Victory! The botter, Krassus Might aka Theod Darkness, yelped in pain. Two other miners, ASS Backwards and Anaxis Muntaine, hated the botter, and were pleased to watch him explode.
Theod Darkness > ...
Theod Darkness > i play with 4 accounts
Theod Darkness > 12 chars
Theod Darkness > live here and a WH...
Anaxis Muntaine > get out of this system botter
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > go back to your wh
Theod Darkness > and I can not go one second that some "champions of justice" burst ships in HS
ASS Backwards > why does your miner not have any implants and your retriever fit shuck if you are not a botter?
Theod protested his innocence, just as botters always do. He bemoaned the fact that in highsec these days, the New Order is always watching.

ASS Backwards' observations about Theod's Retriever fit were right on. Theod wasn't fooling anyone.
ASS Backwards > ty new order for killing the botters i might just have to move you up to orange on my contacts
Anaxis Muntaine > TY to New Order - agreed
Theodor Darkness > because I'm training other chares 4 of 4 accounts for the region mineirarem OASA
Theodor Darkness > cause I'm sick of assholes like you who attack and kill ships that can not defend themselves
Theodor Darkness > and because I do not owe you satisfaction about my life
The locals praised the New Order. They had their doubts about us, but seeing the NEW ORDER DEATH DEALERS squadron clear out the system impressed them greatly.
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > stop BOTTING and we'll go away
ASS Backwards > dont bot mine our system
Theodor Darkness > fly safe and leave me alone
Theodor Darkness > i plaY my game...
Theodor Darkness > play your...
Dr Wiwwy > You play your game, But Dont use your botters to play them for you
Theodor Darkness > fuck you
Of course, the New Order wants everyone to join us, even those with a dark history of botting. Our heroes invited Theod, now speaking through his Theodor alt, to change his life, but he became hostile.
Anaxis Muntaine > leave Theodore
Dr Wiwwy > We hate Liars as much as Botters
Theodor Darkness > i and I just do not kill all of you, because unfortunately, my skills are mining and manufacturing ... mark it well but your names, and when you have a PVP char back to hunt you guys ... but today I can not, my chars are not for this
Theodor Darkness > i hate you Dr Wiwwy ... equal
xxBLACK SKULLxx 929 > I just want you to stop BOTING so we can be freinds
Anaxis Muntaine > lashing out because he got caught as a cheater and botter. now just go away with what little dignity you have left and cheat elsewhere.
Seething with rage, Theodor thirsted for revenge. But he admitted that as a carebear, he was helpless to do anything.
Theodor Darkness > I am not a friend of idiots who think they own the truth ... are assholes like you who detonate bombs in the world to save the world ... demagogues
Theodor Darkness > 3 ships to destroy fitadas mining ... you guys are heroes
Theodor Darkness > my heroes
Anaxis Muntaine > hearing a botter whine and bitch is one of the best moments Ive had in EVE. thank you.
Theodor Darkness > the almighty Anaxis Muntaine lord supreme and absolute truth ... asshole
Everywhere the New Order goes in highsec, a civil war erupts among the miners--between the good miners and the bot-aspirants.
Theodor Darkness > you killed 3 miners piloted by a boy of 11, my son ... should be proud!
Dr Wiwwy > Your Son, you called your Bot, Your Son..
Zane Arnolles > Son.exe
Anaxis Muntaine > dignity, gone. typical botter.
Anaxis Muntaine > HAHAHAHAHA
Anaxis Muntaine > son.exe
Theodor Darkness > this is your truth? you can prove what you're saying? is what you believe? good for you ... I do not need you to play and Eve is big enough for me to get away from you guys made ??suckers ... but lembem up the world of many turns
Anaxis Muntaine > lembem?
ASS Backwards > i have cats on the market here i will lower the price to 1.1 mil for you if you want
Doing his best Geppetto impression, Theodor insisted that his Retrievers were actually run by his 11 year-old boy. The locals were skeptical.
Theodor Darkness > for your joys, lords of truth, I will change my bills, my PI and my base to another place ... ha somewhere where the paladins of justice prmitam me play in peace?
Anaxis Muntaine > It will be nice to see his bots not running all day and night and raping all the belts for once
Agent 057 > we are here to help
Agent 057 > :)
Theodor Darkness > lacked the noble lords of justice, owners MIAH, tell me what the masters have systems for sovereignty that I Can find a away from your honorable protection
Anaxis Muntaine > World of Warcraft
Anaxis Muntaine > try there
Theodor was disgusted by the Code and its sense of honour. He had no respect for the law, only for isk. As you would expect from a bot-aspirant.
Dr Wiwwy > Theo, Wana duel?
Theodor Darkness > thanks, but with all his honor and sense of justice, I think so com├žarmos their brave friends will help you ... I am obliged to decline
Theodor Darkness > do not fight with cowards ... sorry
Dr Wiwwy > How is it Cowardly, If im offering an Honest Duel
Theodor Darkness > you already beat me ... 3 times today ... parabens ... is an awesome duelist ... you and your friends fight well ... almost defenseless against ships ... very brave ...
Dr Wiwwy > Why Thank you for saying that. We are very brave. Thank you for Noticing
Theodor Darkness > voila!
Theodor Darkness > 7,79 standing if civic court
Theodor Darkness > and I am obliged to leave by the neighborhood bullies ... ridiculous
As Theodor packed up his things and prepared to leave, he suddenly realized that he was giving up a location with a station where his standings were high. But the only standings that matter in highsec are one's standings with the New Order.
Dr Wiwwy > we went threw this.. You cheated
Theodor Darkness > let's assume for a moment that you were right - not this - ask what harm I would have done? what its actual prejudice? and holding this thought, what harm you caused me? which of the two would have really been pejudicado another?
Dr Wiwwy > The harm you have done is the Harm you impose on our Markets. The harm you do to your Fellow Miners, It isnt fair for them. Botters should be SHot on site by everyone.
ASS Backwards > amen
Theodor Darkness > you did not answer my question: if it's true what you say, quel the direct injury I caused you?
Dr Wiwwy > You Injure the Market and your fellow Miners
Dr Wiwwy > And you are Teaching your "Son" The wrong way to play Eve
Theodor Darkness > not admit anything and if you can not afford to keep a conversation, we better leave it to ... moreover, the gentlemen - and ladies as you - the real cause misfortunes in the game - and in real life ... remember, Adolf thought was right ....
In the end, Theodor decided to drop the pretense and "hypothetically" admit that he was a botter all along. He thought he wasn't doing anyone any harm. Not so. As the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior once pointed out, injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Theodor threatened all highsec by violating the Code.

There's a lot of misinformation and slander against the New Order circulating out there. The rebels try to blacken our reputation every chance they get. In the long run, the rebels always lose the battle. Rebels can talk all they like, but the New Order proves itself through its actions. Miners of highsec, judge us by what we do. It's really, really obvious we're the good guys.


  1. A fitting use of an MLK quote. James is not only the Saviour of highsec. He has been gifted with a genius mind full of apt historical references and keen intuition. All hail James 315, Saviour of highsec and the perfect person to model our lives after!

    I would like to add that if you find a miner that decides he must quit Eve instead of reforming his ways, please refer him to the new "quitting Eve" thread:

  2. If I had a mining barge, it would have a bumper sticker that reads: I <3 NODD


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