Friday, October 18, 2013

The Hunt for the Truth, Part 1


In Kamio, a carebear named alexhunter seyah was busted for illegal ice mining by a group of Agents led by Lord Mandelor. This police action, and its aftermath, were the subject of two MinerBumping posts. Our heroes attempted to reason with alexhunter, but he refused to purchase a mining permit. Instead, he vowed revenge.


As I was conducting my correspondence, I was suddenly convo'ed by alexhunter seyah himself. Had he finally come to his senses? If so, I could tell him to transfer me some isk, and that would be that.


Unfortunately, alexhunter had got it backwards. He wanted me to send him money, rather than the other way around. I pity the miners for their greed.


alexhunter gave me a sob story. I was instantly suspicious, since this particular sob story was standard issue. "I have no money, I just bought a ship" is a square on Miner Bingo, for goodness' sake. It's a tech I sob story.


If you can imagine a "flashback" sound, now would be a good time for it. alexhunter had threatened to use a battleship against Lord Mandelor. Now he was telling me he was down to a pair of frigates.


Luckily, I was able to remove alexhunter's phantom battleship from the New Order Threat Matrix. We only had a couple rogue frigates to worry about.


But there was another potential threat I wanted to get off the chessboard.


FLASSSSSSSSSSSSHBAAAAAAAAAAACK...


...Now I had an estimate of alexhunter's "powers and allies". He was fresh out of both.


One thing that I'm really proud of is that apart from my scamming days, I've always played a good, clean game. I don't have much use for lying carebears. If alexhunter wanted to earn himself a spot on the Red Pen list, I wasn't going to stop him.


alexhunter gave me the same story he had given to my Agents, when he complained about not getting the chance to finish a mining cycle before he was killed.


Yet the illegal ice had been found in his wreck, pointing an accusing finger at the man.


alexhunter had lied to my Agents, and he had lied to me. I'd given him the opportunity to come clean. After all, granting absolution to rebel miners is a hobby of mine. I was happy to hear alexhunter confess the truth about his lack of battleships and allies. I wasn't so happy to hear him lie to me about the timing of the gank. If there was any hope for alexhunter, I would need to find a way to get him to tell me the truth and nothing but.

To be continued...

23 comments:

  1. *yawn*

    Damn it Jim, for the love of God man, don't continue this drivel. I promise you no one cares what happens to this guy. No one cares what happens to any of these people you carry on about. Oh noes, some scrub random miner that will be forgotten in a week lied to you? Whatever will happen to this poor pathetic creature? Stay tuned folks. Slim Jim might tell you in a few weeks once he's dragged this on long enough in a lame attempt to instill some sort of suspense into a story that ultimately ends like Every. Other. Story. Here..

    Yet again, you're old news Jimmy-boy. Your little group of ill-mannered yard apes are steadily losing ground when it comes to people really giving a damn about anything you do. Your agents and their ganking takes no skill at all, let's be honest. Punch some numbers and mods into EFT to get an EHP, then throw enough piles of feces at said target to beat that number. Look out people, that's some elite pvp right there.

    It'd be one thing, MAYBE, if you ventured out with your merry band of useless DNA but nope, you're content it seems to just sit in Kamio and watch your emergent gameplay slowly shrivel and die. But hey, at least you're getting rich in the process right? Because when you get down to it, it's always about the money right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you from GIMA by any chance?

      Also, if you aren't interested, feel free to not read the site, or the articles.

      Delete
    2. For someone who doesn't care you sure replied to this post quickly considering it was just posted 30 minute's before your comment. Maybe wait a little longer next time? Oh, and that little ticker under "TOTAL PAGEVIEWS" that seems to indicate people do care about and enjoy reading this blog. But hey, you're a carebear, you don't let little things like numbers get in the way of a good complaint?

      Delete
    3. Complaining about content... such is the state of the mmo in the modern era

      Delete
    4. I eagerly await every minerbumping post myself. I find James to be a brilliant storyteller and his tales always give me a smile with my morning coffee. Sorry that you got ganked/bumped/whatever... Maybe you should buy a permit and stop being so buttmad

      Delete
    5. I deeply care about Miner Bumping, I read it daily. Tears in comments are the cherry on top.

      Delete
    6. please i bet alot of the ppl that read this are like me, here to see who is going on the naughty list this week. Over 200 added and going strong, seen over 20 neutral jump into a system but i'm docked up safe with my 9month old barge...I do it bcoz my little old over used barge doesn't want to get up at landfill :S but who could blame little bestie!!

      Delete
  2. WHAT ANSWERS WILL BE UNVEILED?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You and all of your ass holes ruin the game for everyone else, get a life in the real world and let people play a game for what it is...a game. Now get out of your moms basement James 315 and get a job to pay for your sad, sad life. That poor bastard is likely 10 or 12 years old...what are you James 315, 30 or 40? Damn you a sad excuse of a human being and so is your single minded idiots that follow you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speak for yourself. I started playing the game (3 accounts) because of these guys. One persons "game ruined" is another persons entertainment. You do have a point, it's a game. So why not let them play it however they want?

      Delete
    2. I would have quit back in March if it hadn't been for finding minerbumping.com and then joining the New Order. Best bunch of guys and gals in Eve.

      Delete
    3. If said violator is in fact 10 or 12 like you suggest then they have no place here anyway, as per the eula "If you establish an Account, you represent that you are an adult thirteen (13) years of age or older".

      Delete
  4. James, we all know that you will run into more players who claim that they are new to Eve and can't afford a replacement ship. One of them might even be telling the truth. We also know that, whatever someone does in Eve, flying a ship they can't afford to lose is a terrible idea. So I suggest you have a prepared response to those people. A response that explains why nobody should ever fly a ship they can't afford to lose, Or at least a link to one.

    That way, if they give up on mining to do something else in Eve, the New Order has helped them twice. First in convincing them that mining isn't for them, and again in giving them advise that applies everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So Glad I sided with the NO, Rebel blogs never have black and white flashbacks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rebel Blogs rarely have a second up date, let alone a flashback!

      Delete
  6. James lives in the basement of his WT moms house in the suburbs. He has no job, no girlfriend, no friends. He has over 9000 youporn bookmarks, everything from petite asians and midget to bbw ebony. He faps like a man. He have time to update this epic blog everyday because he cant fap all day, not even Hugh can fap 23/7, and ofc he doesnt have a job that would steal valuable Eve-time. I like James, you have proven that even an unemployed american can earn enough internet money to support your substitute for a real life girlfriend. Love you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "James lives in the basement of his WT moms house"

      James' mom is a war target? Who would declare war on somebody's mom. That shows a true lack of class.

      Or, wait... maybe James' mom declared war on the rebel miners. That would explain why you're here whining about it.

      Delete
    2. If what you are describing as James315's life were true... he is quite possibly the most successful man in the history of our species!

      Delete
  7. I think I filled 2 miner bingo cards with this thread

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not sure how old this convo is, but he's lost a battlecruiser in lowsec 8 days ago. So he doesn't seem to be destitute. I predict a high chance of "minerliarus".

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love how the flashbacks are in black and white

    ReplyDelete
  10. I wish I could "like" comments here. Just like financial statements, I love reading the comments in these articles. 2 bingo cards indeed! I just wish I could get out a red pen to correct the bears' spelling.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Epic black and white flashbacks

    ReplyDelete

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