Sunday, October 13, 2013

Kills of the Week

There were a lot of very irresponsible carebears in highsec last week. I'm disappointed in you, carebears. But I couldn't be prouder of the heroic Agents of the New Order who punished the carebears for their crimes. Let's take a stroll through some of the kills that took place during the week of October 6th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 12th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



You might expect a Retriever worth 36 million, but DiaRoss managed to lose one worth ten times that. Agent Spine Ripper slew the beast, but none of the expensive modules dropped. The solution to the loot fairy problem: Kill even more miners!



Chim-Chim stunned our heroes when he dared to fly a Hulk worth over a billion isk. Agents loyalanon, Sophia Soprano, and James Haythem quickly got over it. Their shock turned into steely resolve. Then it was Chim-Chim's turn to be shocked--after he returned to his keyboard, that is.



Lyn Saurus has a name like a dinosaur. The highsec carebear, like the dinosaur, is doomed to extinction. Lyn Saurus spared no expense on her 1.5 billion isk Mackinaw. Except for her 10 million isk permit, that is. Agents Julia Reave, Zane Arnolles, D400, loyalanon, Janine Frost, 412nv Yaken, and Sophia Soprano rallied together and destroyed the Mackinaw. Life always finds a way.



Want to be a daredevil? Try flying a ship like Dark Knight666's 550 million isk frigate when Agents loyalanon and Sophia Soprano are around. Here's hoping Dark Knight666 doesn't try that particular stunt again.



Dark Maull paid the price for attempting to guard his fellow carebears. After Agent Jack Heisenburg discovered the stealth bomber guarding some miners, he reminded him that Agents of the Order are equally capable of ganking the rebels' protectors. Boom! 440 million isk and Dark Maull's pride, gone in a puff of smoke. Tears resulted:


"Multitasking", is that what they're calling it these days? The only thing worse than mining AFK is protecting AFK miners while AFK.



Therealzok outsmarted himself when he loaded up a 680 million isk mission boat. He gave no thought to the Code, of course, thinking hiself above such things. Agents loyalanon and Sophia Soprano, on the other hand, think about the Code all the time. Naturally, the winners of this battle were the people who were better prepared.



As TEST alliance ponders its future, some Dredditors have chosen to spend their downtime enforcing the Code. I was pleased to be informed of Toxo's demise. Seriously, a 2.3 billion isk Paladin? Agents Mug Costanza, republicov, Googol Tudoris, Johnnyy Cash, Kwon Lee Biggie Kadeyooh, Kacion, Nlelith Solette, and Damian Kingston brought a little nullsec flavor to the Seil system and popped the piƱata.



Toxo wasn't done losing isk that day. Agent Biggie Kadeyooh snagged his 2.5 billion isk pod. At a stroke, nearly 5 billion in total damages. Protip: Highsec isn't a place for you to flash around your immodest, bot-aspirant apparel. It's a place for people to express humility and a sincere desire to follow the Code. If that's a problem for you, there's plenty of room in lowsec.

12 comments:

  1. If only that improved memory implant helped him remember the Code. Bot Aspirancy is a powerful disease that infects the mind and makes all implants useless.

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  2. Inspired by the New Order, I have decided to re-sub to Eve. Much to my surprise, I found ganker alts almost fully trained on all 3 of my accounts. Happy days! The real icing though, is that one can fly mining barges and build stuff...

    Its safari time.

    -EasyKill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I look forward to reading of your exploits here, in C&P and in your own words via the MB Forums.

      Delete
    2. \o/ EVE GAINS ANOTHER SUB THANKS TO THE CODE!
      a returning player, proof that ccp loves old business as much as new business.

      Sorry naysayers, but it looks like the whole "ganking makes people quit" didnt apply in this case.

      Delete
    3. I suspect more people are drawn to Eve from this website than quit due to raging over the New Order. Even of those who quit, they have only themselves to blame.

      Delete
  3. Without bot-aspirants wont the code have no more targets? There should be a way that the Code can set up a "space ranch" to herd the cattle until they are fattened with high isk modules.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't that space ranch called 'hisec'?

      Delete
    2. You mean like incursions corps? Hopefully someday the universe will be rid of the bot aspirants. Once everyone is Code compliant, perhaps the next stage is to replace Concord with New Order agents.

      Delete
  4. I am new to this site. I have some questions. I just read the code and I don't know how that mission ship or the non-mining ships were bot-aspirant. I see that there is a charge for mining in hi-sec, but not one for being in hi-sec?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me why, Babylon, Mr. Policeman.

      Delete
    2. @anonymous: you've never heard of mission-running bots? really?

      @jes baldwin: Beach Blanket Babylon.

      Delete
  5. There's no stopping what can't be stopped, no killing what can't be killed.

    ReplyDelete

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