Friday, October 24, 2014

Dumbest Idea vs. Smartest Option, Part 1

Ours is a heroic age. Centuries from now, people will look back and envy those who lived during the years when highsec was first brought under the Code. We can already see the signs of our ultimate victory. It's no surprise, then, that many Agents have begun thinking in terms of their legacy.


Agent Kalorned has become a father figure in Gamis, much the same way I am a father figure to everyone in highsec.


The PvE'ers of Gamis are like Kalorned's children. Those who fit their Retrievers like Dorian Alezander are the newborns. Naturally, Kalorned had his alts kill Dorian.
Dorian Alezander > I wasnt AFK
Kalorned > Why didn't you respond to me in local?
Dorian Alezander > I was having a conversation in corp
Dorian Alezander > and nobody was in Local
Kalorned > There were at least 8 others in local
Kalorned > You should always pay attention to local my friend
Dorian Alezander > As soon as I noticed there was a message on my screen and then I died
After disciplining the young miner, it was time to learn more about this Dorian Alezander.


Dorian was a part-time miner, a part-time salvager, and a full-time dude. He believed in the power of dumb ideas. But how would he react when exposed to the smartest option in highsec--the Code?


The carebear's instincts failed him. Without even reading it, Dorian already knew he hated the Code. He was a bot-aspirant. In extreme cases of bot-aspirancy, the patient rejects the medicine he so desperately needs. This is why forced medication exists.


Kalorned offered Dorian a permit again, just to be thorough. Sure enough, it was a severe case of bot-aspirancy.


Next, Kalorned dangled the carrot of a reimbursement for a wrongful gank. This was a test: Would Dorian recognize that his gank had been appropriate? Dorian failed.


Failed with flying colors, in fact.
Kalorned > that would violate The Code
Dorian Alezander > THEN CHANGE IT
Dorian Alezander > its your own stupid code
Kalorned > That would be at the discretion of James 315 - He is the founder of The New Order and the only one who can make changes to The Code
Dorian Alezander > Yeah well he knows where he can shove his code
Kalorned > I don't think he does
Kalorned > You better elaborate in a mail to him
At this point, our hero became concerned. He noticed little hints of rage bubbling from beneath the surface. Such hints are easily missed by the untrained eye. Kalorned is an experienced Agent; his eyes are like those of an eagle. He knew carebear threats would not be long in coming.


Kalorned was right. Dorian secretly harbored resentment against the New Order--and against the very Agent who was trying to mentor him!


Luckily, Dorian calmed down long enough to engage in a new philosophical discussion.


Nevertheless, Agent Kalorned was well aware that the carebear was teetering on the brink. If properly guided, he would see the error of his ways and purchase a permit. But if something, anything, went even slightly awry... The other thing would happen.

To be continued...

36 comments:

  1. Kalorned ALWAYS Wins!!!!! Always!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why YOU (Yes, this toon, Wolf Soprano) was ganked because he was mining without a permit in his gank scout ship by another code enforcer who then subsequently tried to sell him a mining permit.

      That wasn't a win. That was a fail. I can give you more of that butthurt cream if you like.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, and that's why you used an entire tube of butthurt cream when your ganking scout was ganked by another code enforcer awhile back. I remember something that you demanded that he pay you 10mil for your loss. Funny as hell really, as he also tried to sell you a permit.

      CODE: They gank each other for a 10 million lolita-pop.

      Delete
    3. I just wanna congratulate Loyal and DJ on their marriage!

      http://gankerbumping.blogspot.com/

      Delete
    4. DJ: "wait i get lube..."
      loyal "no need i got diarrhea"
      xD

      Delete
  2. Why is it that every bot-aspirant miner sounds the same? It's as if they were programmed to always say the same stuff in local after having their mining equipment confiscated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because it's the same old Jamesy writing the same old stuff he has been writing for so long. I guess he has ran out of ideas. It's like a broken vinyl record playing the same part over and over again.

      I am not sure who he tries to convince more, himself or his court. Too bad others mostly ignore CODE. and James' ramblings. With an exception when CODE. starts ganking. That is like a little child is having a tantrum: "Pay me attention!". With luck, the miner has a soft spot for children and gives the poor CODE. agent a lollipop (10M ISK) so that he'd shut up.

      How much ISK would make Jamesy to shut up? Could be worth it.

      Delete
    2. It's true: your typical carebear will ignore any interaction he doesn't believe will be financially profitable for him. And you're right: their tendency to ignore any attempt at social interaction, including from us, is why we gank them. Ganking a carebear recontextualizes the interaction from one he can't process (social, community-centered) to one he's more used to (financial profit/loss). Once we have them talking and interacting with us, there is at least a chance that we might manage to deprogram the carebears and get them to start behaving like human beings again. But the whole process is dependent on that initial gank; without violence, no conversation with a carebear is possible at first.

      Delete
    3. There is no typical carebear. Code-monkeys have much more in common. They do not like to think for themself. The think they are quite smart, but in (eve) reallity they suffer from the dunning-kruger syndrom. Zhey have excuses for every thing. Whatever happens, its always the faults of the others, never their own. So they never excuse und never take responsibility. A kindergarden full of social handycapped children. Known as the clowns-troupe of eve.
      Lets sll have a laugh, the circus is in town!
      ��

      Delete
    4. "How much ISK would make Jamesy to shut up? Could be worth it."
      I'm thinking a couple billion should do the trick...
      There's only one way to find out.
      Come on, you know you want to.

      Delete
    5. Yes ban-hammer narcissistic jimmy and his delirious fools!

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      That is the LAST thing that you should run too. That light is from Jimmy boy's weird glowing ass. You don't want to be anywhere near it unless you want to start kissing his ass at any given occasion.

      Delete
  4. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieOctober 24, 2014 at 10:52 PM

    Wow, those "Hints of rage" were subtle! Good job Agent Kalorned!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't think that because your in a quiet system you don't need a permit. Systems like Adairt, Stacmon and all kinds of far off quiet places are still subject to CODE.

    Buy a permit today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. The code isn't valid anywhere in highsec. That's why when code ganks someone, concord shows up to kill them. I mine in quiet areas and code has never been seen. So code, you only have about what...300 people total? That's alot of space to cover for just 300 people.

      Delete
    2. The permit is a scam. Don't buy permits.

      Delete
    3. Not buying a permit is a scam. Don't not buy permits.

      Delete
    4. No code has 300 ALTS, but far less people.
      Think!
      They could not bring up 12(twelve) fighters!
      Ban hammered DJ wrote that he has a lot of alts.
      Royalmoron is a multi (is)boxer, with the alts wolf soprano and sophia soprano and more. Btw, that way he pushes his killboard.
      Laughing stock that wants to believe that nobody would notice!
      xD

      Delete
    5. I'm betting these areas where you don't see code is actually you hiding in .6 systems and above? Adairt was a nice quiet system, now it's code hotbed, the same as your system can be if you don't buy a permit.

      Delete
    6. Its always a big laugh for me when code-monkeys talk of hiding, cowardice and balls of others, when they are the biggest cowards them self. forgetting, that they come in groups for barges and exhumers and other noncombatants. running away from the alliance tournament. hopping corps when wardecced. the legend of "being red anyway" when they are not.

      Delete
    7. How strange, I don't see anyone wardecced to CODE? Maybe you'd like to correct this but I'm guessing your too small a fish to dec yourself, maybe ask the CEO if he has time.
      You might also see most retriever kills are solo, maybe your information is coming straight from some magical place in your head?

      Delete
    8. uh, a retriever is really a tough opponent!
      You must be trembling when your courage defies your fear!
      And why should i wardecc when narcissitic jimmi brags about it how you flee?
      I am miner and indu its about profit, you know.
      xD

      Delete
  6. There's a new troll on the block. And that would be me. I am known as The Masturbation Bot in the spirit of violating the code. So James 315. I have a variety of devices that you can use. My favorite is the device of my namesake. Or perhaps you will find my ball stretcher more appealing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Butthurt, you're rolling a new identity? I see you're back to linking things.

      You do know that it's pretty easy to google "tiny URL decoder" and be able to see the actual URLs you're linking right? I've never had to click on them.

      Delete
    2. The Masturbation Bot? Ball stretcher? WTF? Now why didn't I think of that...

      Delete
    3. Masturbation Bot? NO

      Bring back Butthurt Miner. This blog isn't big enough for the both of them.

      Delete
  7. I just hope I played a part in getting some gankers banned for good.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The New Order is actually quite libertarian in my opinion. Not anarchist obviously, libertarians still believe there are a few legitimate roles for a government, we have to have some rules. Protecting the citizens from aggression for one, the police and army. Nobody can claim that the taxes that James 315, the democratically elected leader of high-sec has set up are in any way exorbitant. 10m a year? Sounds very libertarian to me. And only a small set of common sense rules that can hardly be said to infringe on anybodies liberty. I don't see even a libertarian government letting it's citizens pilot dangerous equipment (enormous space-ships with lots of crew) with nobody at the wheel through busy intersections, it's too dangerous, somebody could get hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  9. sounds more like a sect, than a party. their leader has not been elected, so it is no democracy. the 10m are a decoy, the "permit" is a badge of humiliation similiar to a jewish star. thats what is so bad about code-monkeys. it is about humiliation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sooooo.... you would rather lose billions in destroyed illegal frieghters, than pay a measly 10M a year and follow a few common sense rules? That's some out standing math you have going there pal. Good luck with that.

      Delete
    2. He has so been elected! It says so right there in the code. And we know that it's true because James 315 wrote the code. And we know that he wrote it because it says so right there in the code.

      We've gone from 'cult' to 'sect' now have we? Guys guys look! Progress! Even the foul-mouthed carebears are recognizing our legitimacy! This one is looking closer to converting to code-compliance. This is how we get you, first you're calling us a sect instead of a cult, next thing you know you're flying catalysts and saving a carebear from himself. Sect though? I would be interested in hearing what larger religious group you think we are an offshoot of if you think we are a sect.

      Wouldn't be a MB comment thread without some vulgar carebear calling us nazi's. How very disappointing.

      Delete
    3. Yes he is selected , because its because he wrote so...
      Jimmy, is that another alt of you? This one writes pseudosmart stuff, that is abhorrent stupid!
      Conny is babbling about isk, when its a badge of humiliation and the other one thinks a sect is better than a cult.
      Yepp very disappointing...
      ...mental performances
      uuuh, conny, i do no pay, do not put something in my bio and you still want shoot me.
      xD

      Delete
    4. want as in wan't = will not

      Delete
  10. I just hope there is a plot twist to this story because part one hasn't got my cock up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, code-monkey goes "ugh ugh" and the other one says "no money"...
      2 Posts for that.

      Delete

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