Saturday, October 25, 2014

Dumbest Idea vs. Smartest Option, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Catastrophe! A young miner named Dorian Alezander failed to obey the Code. Agent Kalorned was forced to decommission Dorian's illegal mining equipment. As a senior statesman of highsec, Kalorned took it upon himself to have a talk with the miner. Kalorned reasoned that if Dorian understood all the ways in which the Code has improved highsec--


Yes, improved! Dorian's eager to get back to the story, so enough with the recap.


Isn't it funny how we can get tunnel vision sometimes? As a people, we have difficulty seeing the big picture. Take Dorian, for instance. He couldn't see past his own Retriever loss.


However, Dorian was able to perceive the way the Code has brought together all of the highsec content creators. Was he on the verge of a great realization about the New Order family and the role it plays in modern highsec?


Nope. He was merely transitioning into the "someone will stop you" phase. Kalorned gently reminded the carebear that the New Order has been steamrolling Code violators for two years, with minimal resistance.


Bot-aspirants put isk first. They see little value in anything else, even facts. Dorian joined the doomsayers who predict the "eventual" downfall of our Order.


Carebears can't understand why the hundreds of thousands of highsec PvE'ers can't all unite to put a stop to us. Does it matter why, though? The simple truth is that they haven't united and never will. The New Order will never be defeated. Based on current trends, the only likely outcome of our great project is the total subjugation of all who live in highsec. Everyone will obey the Code.


A rebel carebear's first reaction to the New Order's success is denial. Once Dorian got over that, he took stock of the situation. His head was swimming. This is the part where many carebears choose to buy a permit.


...While others dig themselves into a deeper hole. Dorian wished death upon Kalorned. In-game death, right?


Dorian was moving dangerously close to the "anger" phase. However, many carebears stop at this point and realize a 10 million isk permit isn't worth getting so worked up.


...While others double down.


Kalorned is an experienced Agent and trained diplomat. Yet even he struggled to get Dorian under control. Nevertheless, Kalorned remained optimistic. They say it's always darkest before the dawn.


Things were getting plenty dark. A permit purchase could occur at any time.


Dorian insisted he'd kept an open mind this entire time. Kalorned saw it as an opening. When all else fails, drop a J-bomb. Remind the carebear of all the wonderful things James 315 has done:


Not all carebears have embraced me. Not yet. Some even react negatively when my name gets dropped into a conversation. Think how far we've come in such a short time, though. Now imagine the future, and the state highsec will be in, after years and years of endless Code enforcement: Countless trillions of isk worth of dead carebears, an army of thousands of Agents descending upon the few who continue to disobey the Code, and joyful references to the Saviour of Highsec in every system's local chat. In a word, paradise. Finally, a highsec we can all be proud of. That's where we're headed. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that future?

33 comments:

  1. Unlike Hitler, CODE always wins.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Assuming the rules applying to code, hitler won too!
      xD

      Delete
  2. Not Yet?
    Not ever!
    xD
    Few obey the code-monkeys. Most are alts of code-monkeys.
    And the code-monkeys lack in number and ambition.
    AT 2014 when code-monkeys showed what the do best:
    run away and spout fancy lies from far. Not even 12 Fighters. Not with friends, not somehow. Its all made up.
    So what happened this time?
    2 Posts about not selling a permit.
    Dosn't happen anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even delirious jimmie is failing. More pictures than story. Not surprising, there is nothing to tell. This time code won just because someone was talking to Kalorned. It does not happen very often it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's all a scam to get isk. No one buys permits. Everyone with a mining permit is a code alt. Who would be that STUPID to pay isk to MINE in HIGHSEC? It's all a big PONZI. No one gets paid to GANK. They STEEL from the REAL LIFE PEOPLE they gank. JIMBO is at around 500 billion in PROFITS so far. Why is everyone so dammed STUPID??!!!???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I am pretty sure you still have to pay ISK to mine in highsec - the barge will cost you some, the modules will cost you some.
      That money goes to people who either clicked a button to manufacture the item or clicked three buttons to resell it at your local market or trade hub.
      Those people spend much less effort building the ship than we do when we gank, as building and hauling ships is done en masse.
      Yet, they ask for many times more money. Why is this?

      Because they don't care about you. But we do.
      Buy a permit today.

      Delete
    2. I am going to call BS on the fact that you care about anything other than you chosen play style....

      Delete
    3. Despite the nonsense code-monkeys are mumbling:
      In EvE every ship is made by other players who need the raw materials.
      So without miners code-monkeys could not even play tough guys.
      (which they aren't anyway)

      Delete
  5. Another example of miner reasoning, they'd hurt you in real life if that meant more and more isk, caring about nothing but their in-game wallet.

    I'd go as far as saying that every bot-aspirant highsec miner is a psychopath. May James 315's righteous words bring peace and swift justice upon their kind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I'd go as far as saying that every bot-aspirant highsec miner is a psychopath."
      No problem. you just made it official, that you are an idiot!
      Someday you will read what you have written and die in embarrasment!
      xD

      Delete
  6. This is ridiculous. Of course the miners wish you harm in RL. YOU HARM THEM IN RL. Do you really think you can so neatly separate in-game activities from IRL? It's the same damned thing. This artificial distinction between internet space and IRL only serves the agenda of the PSYCHOPATHS who push poor miners into nervous breakdowns.

    Do you want to know who the REAL PSYCHOPATHS are? JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR, YOU CODE. FUCKS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely own an anti-tanked Retriever IRL. It's in the garage beside my Honda Civic.

      Delete
    2. As a former boxer I would like to state that in-game harm feels absolutely nothing like irl harm.

      Delete
    3. Hmmm... my logout button doesn't seem to work IRL...?!

      Delete
    4. "This artificial distinction between internet space and IRL ..."

      Laying the groundwork for an insanity defense?

      Delete
    5. veers, buddy.. it's been 2 weeks, what happened?

      Delete
  7. I was waiting for it throughout the whole article and just when I was starting to think it wouldn't happen, right at the last moment it did.
    BINGO!

    ReplyDelete
  8. code monkey keep screaming that what happens in the game doesn't affect people in real life, lets take this to the test.

    A code monkey ganks somebody, his pulse went up, his pupil changed, he's happy and most likely pumped up.

    Now look at the one ganked.

    The ganked is angry upset and pissed off and is willing to take it out on the person who just wrecked his toy.

    so lets bring this back to the sandbox times. Kid is building a small castle, the code monkey comes in and breaks his castle.

    keep your idiotic ideas to yourself about people not being affected about what happens in a game. you yourselfs aren't immume to it.

    You become a ganker because you want to hurt people, not because you want to save the game. stop lying to yourselfs and you will be allot happier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many things are wrong with your post, but I will only say this.
      Orca is my favourite ship in the game.
      Every time I shoot one my mood is ruined for the rest of the day.

      Delete
  9. +1
    Anonymous October 26, 2014 at 9:59 AM
    Yarr!
    Especially a "friend" i call "royal moron" (others call him loyal moron) is a big hipocrit.
    After 2 hours(!) of convo he asks sanctimonous "why are you angry?", but watch him what that happens to him...
    LOL
    xD

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sloppy writing lately. Get your shit together James and entertain us better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i think is is pissed, because all his efforts are going down the drain. The code is a lost cause. The members are considered clowns, idiots and guys with social handycaps and every time some code-monkey wants to appear serious, another comes and destroys the effort.
      code-monkey of the week: karma-balancer: he shot down singlehandingly another argument of this clowns troupe.
      To bad für code-monkeys, thats not a isolated incident but happens quite often.

      Delete
    2. means "i think he is pissed"
      ;

      Delete
  11. I just hope I played a part in getting some gankers banned for good.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I just hope I played a part in CODE. alliance topping 1 tril. ISK killed this month.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Exactly six weeks from joining the game to last entry in his Employment History. In other words, 14 day trial period plus one month subbed. Now he's unsubbed, will never play again.

    tl;dr: one unsub closer to CCP's bankruptcy. Go CODE go!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure CCP's finance team is losing sleep over this.

      Delete
    2. Well, I'm sure as a compassionate young lass like you took the initiative and reached out to him, discussed the issues, and tried to show him a better path forward, instead of just driving him out of the game. Because that's just who you are, right babe? The agent who goes the extra mile.

      Delete
    3. did you miss the 2 whole articles where kalorned tried to calm him down?

      Delete

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