Sunday, October 5, 2014

Kills of the Week

The New Order has powerful friends in nullsec, did you know that? Something, something, kills from the week of September 28th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 4th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Over the last two days, at least 23 freighters and 3 jump freighters have been incinerated. The ganker fleet compositions on killmails like this Nomad have caused widespread panic among the carebears. You can see why:


Yes, the CFC has teamed up with the New Order and other highsec warriors to unleash the power of love. The rebels have been paralyzed with fear--even more so than usual. Wild rumors are flying everywhere.



Cute Runner's fail-fit freighter, worth nearly 10 billion isk, couldn't outrun the Code forever. Maybe she heard all the gankers were banned now. Piling onto the killmail were Agents Aaaarrgg, Capt Starfox, 290xanaots, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, John E Normus, Allawa Phantom, Turbolaserwolf BurningStar, Brainbashi, Twizzlespark Celes, Keraina Talie-Kuo, Alyssa Severasse, Mtakahashi Yiorkin, Amyclas Amatin, Wookie Sith Ottig, Allannon kado, Azuana, Forss Fagerstrom, AppleDash FlutterPie, Walter Kramer, Krominal, Rakeris, Vexxatious, loyalanon, Quaker Oatmeal, and Smegmeister.
Veers Belvar > this is a thoroughly ill conceived and deluded operation
Veers Belvar > i doubt that CFC leadership approves
Veers Belvar > mittens opposes senseless violence
Anti-Order gadfly Veers Belvar urged calm among the rebels. It was just a few rogue Goons, he said. Nothing to worry about. And then The Mittani himself sent out a CFC-wide broadcast to comment on the killing of Cute Runner's freighter:


Of course The Mittani opposes senseless violence. But there's nothing senseless about enforcing the Code and slaughtering bot-aspirants. He urged more CFC forces to join up. (I'm sure all the talk about a "secret mission" will be received with calm thoughtfulness by the rebel carebears. It won't send them into a greater panic or fill their minds with conspiracy theories.)



c0rnf3d1 didn't get the memo about the whole "permit" thing and lost a jump freighter. It was a mistake he'll remember for the rest of his life. The Ark and its cargo cost him at least 12 billion isk...


...Assuming all those capital and supercapital blueprints were copies, I mean.


I could report the names of the 41 gankers on the kill, but instead I'll just highlight the participation of one of GoonSwarm Federation's lesser-known corps: The Raging Ducks brought 21 gankers to the party. I'm not familiar with them, but they seem like Gallants to me. I've been told that a gentleman named Gaara's Sniper multiboxed all 21 of those gankers. Miners, take note: This is how you multibox.



Matrena Edrena's anti-tanked cloaky Orca was carrying Plastic Wraps when it went pop. Unless the Plastic Wraps contained a mining permit, her secrets were definitely not safe. Agents Liek DarZ, MetalDev, Boston10, unknown boat, Plasma Death, ALPHA flyorDie, Sophia Soprano, X Page, Reaper xx, and loyalanon couldn't help but be curious, so they killed her and opened one of the packages.


A stack of 8 Proteuseses, worth over 1 billion isk! It would've been easier if Matrena just told everyone what she was carrying. And bought a permit.



Ouch! Giles Gruber was flying a gruesomely fail-fit Mackinaw until it was opened up. He was then podded by Agents Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri and Ron Erhlod and lost 3.4 billion worth of implants.


Giles had little to say in his defense.



SAMSORAH was AFK on a gate in a blingy Daredevil. Miners complain about us shooting ships that can't shoot back, but SAMSORAH had every opportunity. Agent PV Rock popped the Daredevil and the 3.8 billion isk pod.

Carebears, you call yourselves defenseless, but it's your own choice to go AFK in highsec. The New Order is all about reminding you of the option to act like an EVE player. Stay alert and respectful, please. Oh, and do try not to engage in unnecessary speculation about the CFC's secret mission in highsec. Everything's going to be fine. You do have a permit, don't you?

70 comments:

  1. The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

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  2. "Anti-Order gadly?" Gonna have to try harder than that, Goon pets.

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  3. I always knew you were pets, thanks for confirmation

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    1. Not pets. We're equals united in a goal. At one point the CFC hisec arm could claim superiority to the New Order, but today we are much closer to equals in terms of strength and manpower.

      Source: Am a both goon and member of the New Order.

      But let's not let facts get in the way of your tinfoil hattery!

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    2. adhominems are always the best arguments.

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  4. Secret Mission: Supply all of highsec with freighters for 10b isk each, jump freighters for 20b each. If it's not made by Mittens & Co., it's gonna die. Don't lose your freighter or jump freighter like a publord, buy from the approved list and enjoy safe passage. Each ship comes with a FREE mining permit & FREE Goon Permit. Ask your friendly local Goon or CODE representative how to reserve yours today! Buy safe and fly safe.

    This post was lovingly crafted by someone.

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    1. Outstanding work New Order

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  5. A going away treat before my 2 week vacation.

    An Open Letter to The Mittani
    From: Veers Belvar
    Sent: 2014.10.05 22:11
    To: baltec1, Capt Starfox, Draghkar, Eezee Gonozal, ektony, Gregor Lachlan, James 315, John E Normus, Konrad Kane, Krainicus, Lauresh Thellere, Mirana Bal'ari, notlupus, Powers Sa, Sara Rae, Sion Kumitomo, The Mittani, Wolf Soprano,

    To my dearest friend The Mittani,

    Sir, I must confess that I pen this open letter with a deep sense of dismay and foreboding. Long have I had doubts about the values underpinning your alliance, but until this day I endeavored to maintain them privately, rather than openly air them. Unfortunately, recent events have forced my hand, and I do feel earnestly compelled to air my concerns with you, the leadership of your alliance, and some of your allies. While I, as always, speak only for myself, it is my fervent regard that my words do indeed speak for a cacophony of voices in Highsec, and indeed throughout New Eden.

    Last night I was witness to a most appalling event, where a union of CODE and Goonswarm pilots did their best to destroy innocent freighters in the Uedama system, and did attempt to restrain the lawful flow of commerce in Highsec. While pained by the occurences of that night, I did express my sincere and heartfelt belief that you would never lend your blessing nor your pilots to such a criminal undertaking, and would properly condemn the unholy partnership once you learned of its existence. The gist of my comments can be seen at http://www.minerbumping.com/2014/10/kills-of-week.html. Most deviously that post also contains an apparently secret message sent by you to the Goonswarm Federation, where you forcefully encourage them to join CODE in impairing the free flow of goods in Highsec.

    I speak to you today as one of the leading opponents of CODE, virulently opposed to their efforts to massacre miners, freighters, and all other lawful residents of highsec, and thoroughly appalled by their attempt to restrain commerce in Empire, which serves only to maintain higher prices in areas outside of Jita, and unnecessarily forcers purchasers to do their business in the Jita system. I am confident that you agree that this is contrary to the interests of all members of New Eden, carebear and nullsec PvPer alike, and serves to, in conjunction with the impending Jump Freighter nerfs, exacerbate already existing market failures, specifically concerning the production and distribution of T2 goods. You threaten the very soul of the Eve marketplace, and by your actions are exposing us to ruinous hyperinflation (incidentally, freighters would be covered by the principalities of commerce prong of the Commerce Clause in the US Constitution, and would always be subject to Federal, rather than State Control. Even in 1783 they realized the tremendous importance of the unimpeded flow of goods that you now threaten).

    Furthermore, not only do you and your allies threaten the peace and prosperity of Highsec, but you have also partnered with the lowest scum imaginable in the Eve universe. James 315 is an admitted Ponzi scheme and criminal, a close associate of Erotica 1 (a major CODE shareholder), who was recently banned for real life harassment. Code leadership members DJentropy overt and Jerry Rin were also banned for such harassment (specifically shameful “bonus room” escapades), and currently CEO Loyalanon is famously known for his inability to control his raging temper. I realize that you too do not have a sterling record in this regard, famously being expelled from the CSM council after encouraging a player to commit real life suicide, but I would have thought that your travails in these matters would have made you a better judge of character in picking your allies.

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    1. For the above reasons, I do insist that you immediately call of this criminal and deviant plan to illegally affect highsec commerce, and pay appropriate repirations of 5,000,000,000 (5 billion) isk to me, with immediate effect.

      Yours,

      Veers Belvar

      Swordmasters of New Eden

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    2. What a stroke of genius. This heartfelt appeal will motivate even more CFC line members to bank in highsec!

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    3. Banking in highsec would be great. Maybe with the new nullsec nerfs the CFC will even to relocate to Highsec with the big boys, Imagine a carebear friendly CFC!

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    4. You do know who Goons are?

      Right?

      Something Awful boards?
      Google it. We'll wait.

      lol when the nullsec overlords occupy hisec, you will be CRYING about how the New Order was more sane and rational...
      CRYING

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    5. Deerest Veers

      Of course everyone knows that James 315 is not a criminal, but the rightful leader and saviour of highsec. His days of running a successful ponzi scheme are long gone, before he started the New Order.

      Also, it should be noted that I am but a humble servant of our saviour, James 315. While I yearn to be a "close associate", I am but, like so many of us, just one person doing what can be done, one carebear at a time, to make highsec a better place. It is a higher power that calls us to do what we must, to make highsec, eve, and the world each a better place through our tireless efforts.

      That higher power is James 315. Praise the Code.

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    6. Did you know Erotica 1 is a psychopath? he litterally bought a whole new computer and ISP JUST TO PLAY eve again! that shows how much sociopaths want to play this game.

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    7. "I do insist that you immediately call of this criminal and deviant plan to illegally affect highsec commerce, and pay appropriate repirations of 5,000,000,000 (5 billion) isk to me, with immediate effect."

      If this is true and Veers really wrote this, then it is the closest I have ever seen Veers come to actually playing Eve Online.

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    8. The New Order of Highsec, making goons the good guys since 2012

      LOL

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    9. Veers, Highsec will burn until all the miners, incursion runners, mission runners, haulers, basically all the carebears, purchase permits and follow the code.

      Thank you.

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    10. Burn it all. Will still never buy a permit. Ever.

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    11. There already is a legitimate financial institution in highsec: The New Order Treasury.

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    12. rofl

      Veers just took the "carebear sperg lord" sterotype and cranked it all the way to eleven.

      "I speak to you today as one of the leading opponents of CODE"

      rofl rofl rofl

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    13. This veers guy must need some attention for being irrelevant as always.

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    14. the whole ponzi scheme is ridiculous at one point I remember the treasury being at around 80 billion isk at one point. If Jame315 were going to pullout and take the isk he would have done it a long time ago.

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    15. Erotica1: best jita scammer ever
      James 315: Savior of highsec
      Mittens: leader of the huge CFC
      Loyalanon: FC and elite PVP ganker
      Veers: incursion bot and part time AG forum rager.

      geez who should i side with?

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    16. These days I can never tell if a given post is someone making fun of Veers by saying utterly ridiculous things using his name...or if it's just Veers being Veers. It's kind of amazing, really.

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    17. Erotica 1 - banned
      James 315 - Ponzi schemer and bonus room participating who will get banned eventually
      Mittens - Solicited real life suicide, banned from CSM
      Loyalanon - Massive anger management issues, and now using ISBoxer gank fleets, will probably get banned eventually

      Veers - Incursion hero and a master at outwitting CODE and Goon thugs

      It's a tough choice

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    18. "Incursion hero"

      See? It's this shit right here. Is this real life?

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    19. Ya, I do a fun activity that liberates Eve from Sansha invasions. You spend your time committing criminal suicide ganks, causing people to cry, and encouraging them to leave the game. I'd rather be me.

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    20. Wait...that letter was the real Veers?
      L
      O
      L

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    21. Yeah, Im the real Veers

      And Im writing from an airport.

      In Germany.

      Idiots.

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    22. Kinda lame how many New Order Agents impersonate me. Imitation is the highest form of flatter, I suppose.

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    23. I am.

      Veers Belvar © ® - General of the anti-Code army, Swordmaster of New Eden, Highly graduated space-lawyer / attorney, Ponzi scheme detector, legendary incursion Hero, psychiatric diagnostician, Guardian of HS peace & prosperity, juror, judge and executioner, the Shield of High-Sec, the voice of the innocent...

      ...the last hope of New Eden...

      Veers - from a bus stop in Poland

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    24. Idiots.

      I wrote that from a train station.

      In Austria.

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    25. Idiots.

      I wrote that from a Brothel.

      In Soho

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    26. Veers wrote a letter.
      "You are bad; send me money"
      ~Swordmaster Belvar

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  6. This is classic! You need to re-post this all over the Internet, Veers, so that even people who don't read the comments on minerbumping can have a good hearty belly-laugh at your expense.

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    1. I'm confident this will be shared for a laugh for months to come :)

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    2. Like the CODE. Fail at AT 12 where CODE. tuck their tails between their legs and ran.

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    3. No dude, CODE "won" the AT. You see, losing by forfeit is now a victory. Cognative dissonance between "Code always wins" and "Code forfeited the AT" leads to conclusion "CODE didn't show up because it already won." I would expect no less from a group of delusional clowns and real life harassers - no wonder some many of them have met CCP Falcon's banhammer.

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    4. "delusional clowns"

      I feel harassed irl. Please stop being such a sociopath, Veers.

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    5. As a rule accurate descriptions of your mental state in a comment does not constitute real life harassment. Feel free to petition CCP if you feel otherwise.

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    6. Eh, if I remember when I get home. Funny that you apparently think we're not only literally clowns, but that you're qualified to make accurate diagnoses about the mental health of people you've never met. But then, of course you do, you're Veers: eternally right about any and every topic you shoot your mouth off about. How could I forget.

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    7. The diagnosis naturally follows from the behavior exhibited. And I do happen to always be right....maybe I'm just the luckiest guy in the world?

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    8. Veers Belvar © ® - General of the anti-Code army, Swordmaster of New Eden, Highly graduated space-lawyer / attorney, Ponzi scheme detector, legendary incursion Hero, psychiatric diagnostician, Guardian of HS peace & prosperity, juror, judge and executioner, the Shield of High-Sec, the voice of the innocent, the voice of the reason

      Delete
    9. Veers Belvar © ® - from a cheese factory in Macedonia

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    10. Veers. King of Pineapples!

      Fear him!

      On a serious note, I think MB should dedicate an article to Veers. Should give everyone much joy and laughter!

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  7. I just hope I played a part in getting some gankers banned for good.

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    1. You did not, that's just your weird ego issues kicking in again.

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    2. Lol at beers not being able to do anything but run his mouth.

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    3. That was fake veers......I never took credit for getting people banned.

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  8. Already Loyalanon has called my open letter "tears." New Order folks - it's time to step up your game - communication is not tears, dissent is not tears, principled opposition is not tears, and clear statements of fact and morality are not tears. Find some new word to play with, "tears" is getting old quickly.

    Veers - from an airport in Germany.

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    1. Just please don't drag germany into this, i don't want to start feeling bad for just living there.

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    2. Dont worry, Im writing this piece of Veers from a chicken farm, in Slovakia.

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    3. Would rather be on MB than holiday but I'm not a sociopathOctober 6, 2014 at 4:33 PM

      Veers Belvar, more like Tears Belvar! Amirite?

      From a taxi stand in Denmark

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  9. This is the time to buy permits.

    Send Amyclas Amatin 10 million isk, and he will issue you one.

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    1. How much do you charge to get people into Goonwaffe? 375 mil?

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    2. No problem for me, I have 22B in my wallet !

      Yeah...T-w-e-n-t-y-T-w-o B-i-l-l-i-o-n-s

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  10. Goonwaffe does not recruit publicly. We are all members of the popular gay hookup site, Something Awful.

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    1. And yet over and over again your members offer to recruit people for a few hundred million isk. There is even a website, www.goonfleet.com that explains the process. Truly an honest and ethical organization you are part of.

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    2. http://www.eveinfo.net/wiki/index~17.htm
      First Google result for Goonswarm recruitment, the fact that "If you gave isk to join Goonfleet then you were scammed and you're shit out of luck." is posted at the top in big fucking red letters is fairly honest and ethical.

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  11. Bye Veers, I'll miss the lolz you generate everyday you are on "vacation".

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    1. Thank you !

      Veers - from a kitchen in Albania

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  12. It's good to see HighSec and NullSec alliances coming together for a common cause: the salvation of EVE!

    White knights take heed! You are on the wrong side of the war. Help us protect EVE from the carebears and their endless petitioning and lobbying for nerfs.

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  13. Veers Belvar, have you considered getting into politics? I mean, outside of Eve. You'd fit right in.

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    1. I'm considering a run as president of the United States in fact. Not as a Republican nor as a Democrat. I hate both sides and agree with them at the same time.

      Veers - Scuba-diving in Mongolia

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    2. I'm a solid republican, thank you.

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    3. I'm solid and robust, thank you.

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  14. Of course you are, all the robots I program are republican.

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    Replies
    1. You're all a bunch a tree-hugging hippies !

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  15. this thread is just hilarious, thank you code, every day.

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