Friday, January 2, 2015

Ocean's Zero, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Christmas came early for rebel JTClone Ares when he met TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet and Captain Rick Tyson, who claimed to have a fool-proof plan to rob CODEdot blind. After an hour and a half of chatting, JTClone was persuaded to give Captain Rick a director alt in the executor corp of JTClone's The Clone Republic alliance. Now everything was set for a massive heist that would catapult JTClone to highsec fame and fortune.

The robbery would not take place that night. TheInternet's spies in CODEdot told him that the New Order was building a huge stockpile of gank ships for Christmas. If they hit the "bank" the day before Christmas, it would be a bigger score.

As it always does, the carebear's mind soon drifted to thoughts of isk.

JTClone didn't just want to destroy the New Order and become the first victorious rebel; he also wanted to be filthy rich. He had been getting nowhere on any of these goals--until he met up with TheInternet and Captain Rick, who promised him everything.

The self-styled rebel leader admitted he had some grudging respect for the New Order's operations. Even the most obstinate bot-aspirants today can hardly deny our effectiveness.

JTClone was tuckered out. Anticipating a heist that night, his heart had been racing. Now he would need to wait one more day for the big job.

It would all be worth it, though. JTClone would bathe in Agent loyalanon's tears, achieving vengeance after months of helplessly watching loyalanon's fleets kill freighters.
[ 2014.12.23 21:49:02 ] TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > JTClone Ares we're looking solid for tonight, guys are saying it looks green
JTClone Ares > kk
JTClone Ares > I should warn you I only got like 5-6 hours of sleep because i wanted to sleep in and that did not end up happening so
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > lol might be a good idea to try get a nap in if you can, it's going to be a long night
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we'll be very busy once the ball starts rolling
Finally, the time came. Though somewhat sleep-deprived, JTClone had not been tortured, according to international law. Nevertheless, carebears need at least 8 hours of sleep to fight the Code to the best of their ability. Otherwise they may fall asleep while they are mining or autopiloting in anti-tanked ships.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > you have an alt that you can use as a lookout? we need to have eyes on the undocks of several hubs
JTClone Ares > Possible but it lags my computer out when I duel screen eve
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright well if you can log in two chars at once that would be better, we need to have eyes on as many hubs as we can
JTClone Ares > I had 2 other accounts bulled the plug since I have no money
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > as long as they're in NPC corps they'll be fine as long as you clear the bios. link the names please so I can make sure we've got all of our positions filled out
JTClone Ares > so dock up and create 2 new alts
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yes, one on each account
JTClone was instructed to log off his JTClone Ares character, and to log in on two new alts. This would lull the New Order into a false sense of security. But it came with a drawback: While his main was logged out, he wouldn't receive any notifications if something bad happened to his alliance.
JTClone Ares > okay
JTClone Ares > give me a sec
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > just pop in here with the new alts. codeword is pickles
Sexy Man > getting other alt online
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Alright 1 down 1 to go
Sexy Man > Sexy Avatar
JTClone logged off his main and came online with his two alts: "Sexy Man" and "Sexy Avatar".
Sexy Man > so how long did it take you guys to get people into code to help you take them out?
Captain Rick Tyson > not long. they recruit lots of new players so it was quick and easy in most cases. moving up once in was a different story tho. anyways brb
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > the most important person to our plan became disillusioned with CODE. after all of the political infighting recently
Sexy Man > I want to meet this defector
Sexy Man > once the op is done though
The long wait began. To ensure the success of the heist, the conspirators needed key CODEdot leaders to be offline, and they needed all their spies to be online. It might take a while, but the stars would align eventually.
[ 2014.12.24 03:26:09 ] Sexy Man > its going to be a long ass night
Captain Rick Tyson > yeah its probably gonna be a bit late
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Gentlemen, this is the operations room for the downfall of CODE
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Buckle in, I'm 95% sure that we will pull this off tonight
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Check that, 98%
Sexy Avatar > let us begin when the light is green
Almost six hours later, the stars were not quite aligned yet. The good news was that TheInternet was increasingly confident that the heist would take place. JTClone was delirious with excitement.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > will be ramping up in stages over the coming hours
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm going to grab a coffee
Sexy Man > I should go grab coffee as well
Sexy Man > god i want to see loyals face after this op
Though frustrating, the wait was absolutely necessary. Once the die was cast, once the Rubicon was crossed, there was no going back. Either the New Order or the resistance would be triumphant that night.
[ 2014.12.24 05:32:56 ] Sexy Man > Loyal is going to go all awol on me
Sexy Man > which will be funny
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > lol
Sexy Man > God this will be funny
Sexy Man > stealing like 10K+ ships
Sexy Man > from code
As the hours ticked by, the stars came closer and closer to perfect alignment. Information was starting to trickle in from the spies, who were tallying up the assets contained in CODEdot stockpiles. The heist was going to be bigger than anyone imagined.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Sexy Man open up anti-ganking, something is going on there
Sexy Man > shit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah this is worrying
Sexy Man > indeed it is
Sexy Man > Damn it
Captain Rick Tyson > why whats happening i havent looked at it?
Sexy Man > code took over the Anti-ganking channel
Suddenly, TheInternet received startling news: Something was going on in the Anti-Ganking channel! At the very moment JTClone and his fellow conspirators were about to strike, the New Order's now-famous liberation of Anti-Ganking took place. It gave JTClone even more motivation to ensure the heist would destroy CODEdot forever.
Sexy Man > we will need to hit them fast and hard
Sexy Man > okay
Sexy Man > I am so going ot be making a speech and a new channel for anti-ganking and so rubbing it in codes face
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > somebody will need to rally the troops man
Sexy Man > I guess I am finally going to lead AG and be the head of it. Although I swore not to. I guess I will once this op is complete
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Sexy Man I think you're the man to do it
Sexy Man > I am
Sexy Man > although I hate doing something when the enemy are complete morons though
Now it was time. JTClone Ares heard destiny knocking on the door. He was prepared to rise to the challenge. Now was his chance to put a stop to the New Order and take his rightful place as leader of the Anti-Ganking community.

Next time: The shocking conclusion!


  1. LOL! You can just taste the incoming disappointment.

  2. Please dont ruin my dreams!!!!


    The Code ALWAYS wins!!!!! ALWAYS!!!!!

  3. Goddamnit, this is one strung out story.

    Like JTClone, he got strung out, too.

  4. Sexy Man > although I hate doing something when the enemy are complete morons though

    The irony in every part of this tale has been so delicious.

  5. Waiting for the Grand Finale!

  6. I swear James, you are one hell of a writer; the way you've put this's cliffhanger after cliffhanger!

    Props to our Agents too; masterclass in exploitative psychology. Or something.

  7. There shall be tears the like of which Chribba has never seen......

    Hell, not even Guard.

    Mike Adoulin

  8. "Sexy Man > although I hate doing something when the enemy are complete morons though"

    As they say, you are your own worst enemy.

  9. All this anticipation... so many hopes and dreams on the line.... for hours...days...

    JTClone, I just want you to know that I send my regards.


  10. I swear this is like 1,000 Arabian Nights.

  11. Everyone must become aware of the fact that CODE. is not the only group that employs spies.

    Perhaps it is time for CODE. to learn some humility.

    These leaks will continue, and grow more damaging, unless James 315 halts the release of 'Ocean's Zero, part 6'.

    It would be most wise for the New Order's leaders to remember the events of September 10th, 2014.

    Guiding Hand Social Club alumni

    1. I think we all agree that any level of damage a rebel could do is worth the release that part 6 will bring us. This tension is killing me.

    2. I'm afraid the anonymous vigilantes are going to steal James 315's golden Catalyst, which brings luck and prosperity to all of us if the part 6 will be released.

    3. Sloppy photoshops from AG

      Nice try

    4. @ Anon 5:45

      I have a plan to steal James 315's Golden Catalyst. I will need your cooperation to pull this off. Please contact me in-game for details.

      -Captain Rick Tyson

    5. CODEleaks represents a clear and present danger to CODE. operations. We need to find out who this person is ASAP!

    6. "These leaks will continue, and grow MORE damaging" (capitalization mine)

      This falsely implies that the purported "leaks" above are damaging. For this reader, at least, they serve only as a source of lols at JT Clone Ares' expense.

  12. "Check that, 98%"

    You still got it, man. Never change. I laugh e'rry time.

  13. This is more intense GoT season 2 finale. Will JTClone and Veers make sweet love after the heist? What will AG do with all that isk? Is there a bonus room setup?

    While I love the blog this material really belongs on e24 or TMC to catch a wider audience. It's like a ALOD but without the ships!

  14. This was all a part of the plan. Just watch and see!


  16. Previously the Savior of Highsec had described carebears like this as "comeuppance magnets" and, truly, it has never been a more apt description than today.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.