Friday, January 30, 2015

The Butterfly Effect, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... An unlikely sequence of events led to the destruction of stephen Kalkoken's Retriever--and an even unlikelier result: stephen refused to buy a mining permit because he harbored ambitions of becoming a New Order Agent. Would the foul-mouthed miner become the next big thing in Code enforcement, or would he return to his bad habits?

An hour later, stephen returned to his bad habits.

This time, the rebellious miner vented his anger in local chat. No longer did stephen enjoy the privacy and security of a New Order convo.

As the carebear continued to act out, it became clear what was the matter: stephen was displaying all the symptoms of a downward spiral.

Now that stephen had lost his Retriever, he felt he had nothing left to lose. How far would he sink before he hit bottom? A few minutes later, he sent Agent Liek DarZ a private message:

Like so many other post-gank carebears, stephen found himself at a crossroads. He would either buy a permit and turn things around... or the other thing would happen.

Without the carefully crafted boundaries established by the Code, stephen had no principles to guide or regulate his behavior. He was adrift, headed toward disaster.

One of the things that originally set these events in motion was a random wardec inflicted against stephen's corp. He had told everyone in the Mining channel that he was confident of victory, since he'd purchased a Corax. Surprising no one but himself, stephen managed to lose the war horribly. He surrendered the next day.

Our Agents feared that stephen's defeat in the war, and the loss of his corp, might send him further down the path to oblivion.

The newly corp-less stephen became incoherent. He never grew out of his habit of interjecting random words into a sentence.

In vino, veritas. The carebear finally admitted what everyone else already knew: He was indeed guilty of AFK mining. Would this confession of guilt lead to the most shocking conversion story in recent memory?

Incredibly, stephen pulled a 180 degree turn. He dropped the profanity and threats in favor of a defensive posture. Now stephen wanted to compromise--and suggested he might buy a permit after all.

Would stephen make a last-minute breakthrough and give our Agents the 10 million isk they so richly deserved? Or would he once again plumb the depths of bot-aspirancy and rebellion?

To be continued...

Two seconds ago, on MinerBumping... Miner stephen Kalkoken expressed a desire to make things right with the New Order.

...But then he returned to "normal".

Sadly, stephen remains adrift in a sea of confusion and self-destruction. Our Agents are busy patrolling highsec. They're constantly on the lookout for carebears in need of rescue. No matter what the odds, no matter what the cost, the Agents of the New Order will never give up.


  1. "...the Agents of the New Order will never give up" And I sincerely hope stephen never gives up giving this sublime entertainment. Strawberry!

  2. I had a feeling that this particular carebear wasn't going to make a full recovery... Oh well.

    I guess this is another victory for the New Order... and you know what that means!

    The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

  3. You just have to find a theme park MMO, Stephen. Then you can play MMO's like single player games.

    That's what I do. I play a far more rewarding scifi MMO, and I use this site as a consistent, daily warning to never resub to Eve.

  4. What are the odds that among all the carebears not a single one has the technical knowledge to make "Space Mining Simulator" and rake in a heck of a lot of money.

    Personally though, I'd make Space Mining Simulator reflect the historical and practical dangers of mining and resource harvesting. Collisions. Faulty Equipment. Sabotage. The requirement of a Permit, professional training, and specific safety rules so that innocents aren't harmed through ignorance. Kind of like how the real world works... I can't even take a metal detector out in my town without a permit.

    Sound familiar?

    1. I'd play Space Mining Simulator.

      But only if let me play the way I want: as a means of escapism.

      Not as a "player-driven sandbox" with "consequences".

      No thanks. I've got two jobs IRL already with plenty of risk and reward. I don't need a third in my fucking video games.

    2. Do they make a bot for it so that you can run the game without having to play it?
      I'd rather just get a program for it so I can earn all the achievements without all that tedious grinding.

    3. Oh ho ho ho.

      If I don't support emergent gameplay, I MUST be a bot-aspirant. There's NO other possible explanation.

  5. To be continued...

    Two seconds ago, on MinerBumping...

    Hahahahahahahaha! I confess, I didn't see *that* coming. Sadly, all the hate spewing from this so-called "victim" was entirely expected. :(

  6. mining bots are so 2014.
    i use door- and toilet- bots nowadays.

  7. antigankers are pretty angry about this story and i have seen them issue real life death threats against minerbumpers

    1. I don't doubt it, but got the logs/screenshots so we can have a look?

    2. the code crowd is basicly bots anyway.
      Think about it, get in cat, undock, warp to belt, target, fire guns, warp back to station, 15 minute timer, repeat, sounds like a nice bot program there.

  8. Miners issuing death threats!? Impossible!

    1. could this be...but...but...they are the good guys I must be some kind of mistake. :)

    2. well hey, code issues ways of making miners feel like crap, why not turnabout for fair play? Oh yea, thats right, code does that already, bonus room anyone?

    3. @Anonymous Chickenshit (5:49)

      There is nothing in a video game that justifies a RL death threat. Seek help.

  9. Intereseting, Code. says they play the game according to the mechanics.
    They don't allow other players to play who they want to play, they say it's wrong.
    And Code. use the "In vino, veritas" completley wrong too, they are the only retards in EVE.

    You can throw fancy sayings if you want but as long as you don' understand the meaning it's just a 100% fail...

    And as long as Code. never admit that all they want is rage and threats so they can whine about players who don't want interaction from Code. they are just a shitty bunch of players.
    Time after time we can read about players being ganked even if they have the fake permit bought from the so called agents (a fake player ;))
    When there is a chance of changing or bending the rules Code. is the pro at that and do it so hard they have to change their stinky pants.

    This is why EVE is going down for sure, booth sides begins to fail and I'm really glad I play other PvP games than EVE.

    Why I read minerbumping? That's just for fun to see players who lie that they don't want tears and rage and when someone like Wolf accidently admit that all he want's is rage and tears.
    Code. is not smooth at that point at all.

    1. I think i know why you are butthurt.

    2. "HellzJanuary 31, 2015 at 7:53 AM"
      The only one who is buthurt here is you, I don't even play the retarded game and I'm for sure not on any side in EVE.
      But as long as Code. players say it's a free game to play as they like and tells other players the only way to play is the Code. way there something wrong.

      If you can't see that I will gladly buy you a butplug so you don soil your pants once more ;)

    3. "Ming TsoJanuary 31, 2015 at 4:45 PM"
      Don't worry, I'll buy you a but plug too so you don't soil your pants.
      And if you miss James dick I can find you another salty dick for you to suck on too ;)

    4. i loled so hard at this butthurt miner! sounds like he has many plugs to choose from in his personal stash. they never learn.

      oh and "quality shit right there" i see what you did there. lulz



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